The week before school ended when life was crazy busy with recitals, Mother's Day, birthdays, Grandparents' Day, AAU basketball, end-of school-year field trips and parties, awards ceremonies, a graduation ceremony (I tutored four seniors this year, so I had to watch them graduate and was moved as always by the caliber of speeches delivered with a maturity in faith I never had until after college or ever), new projects at work, and so forth, we flew to Oklahoma for my husband's brother's wedding.
(PSA for whomever it may concern: May and December are the busiest months for any parent of school-aged
children, so please try to avoid big events during those months.)
My husband is the oldest of his brothers, but this brother is like his Irish twin, just 12 months apart. At age 42, he was a confirmed bachelor, but we always hoped he would settle down. The wedding was gorgeous, and I think this trip was one of the best ever for me. After writing the devotion on inner beauty and putting some thought and prayer into why I feel so insecure when I go out there. The the fact that the other brothers' wives are drop dead gorgeous - models who take such great care of themselves when I don't know how to put on makeup or style my hair and mostly just wear yoga pants and t-shirts - may have something to do with it, but if outward appearances meant so much to me, I would be spending the big bucks to to hire a stylist, dress more fashionably, don fake eyelashes, get botox injections, have my nails done more than once every 25 years and so forth. If it doesn't matter to me when I'm anywhere else but Oklahoma, why does it bother me there? Then the insecurity issues just seemed like a terribly dumb waste of energy and joy thief, so I kept myself busy helping out where I could and trying to connect with people at the wedding who looked lost or felt out of place and I never had time to feel insecure about anything. The other brother's wives looked great, and their family photos were perfect, but life is too short to waste fretting over outfits, make-up and hair, and besides, I'm between 4 and 15 years older than all of them, so what do you expect? It really was a great time. Photos from our trip follow.
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| We woke at 5am, took Uber to the airport, and arrived at our first stopover in time for our favorite bagels for brunch. |
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| The groom wanted gourmet burgers, friends, and apple cobbler for the rehearsal dinner. It was the best burger ever! |
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| The couple's youngest daughter was the runaway flower girl. |
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| The groom's oldest daughter was a bridesmaid. |
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| Gorgeous outdoor wedding on an exclusive golf course |
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| Her Family |
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| Happy Couple & Daughter with Mother and Father of the Groom |
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| I was supposed to man the registry, but the book was inside, so I just nagged people throughout the reception to sign it. |
The wedding was held on Armed Forces Day, and the groom is a veteran of the Marine Corps, so the colors for the wedding were red, black, gold, and white. I was told the colors were champagne only, so I bought a champagne dress which is a very unflattering color on me. My favorite dress in my closet is black and red, so I'm bummed I missed the memo on that one, but at least I had an excuse to buy a new dress, stressful as it was. My mother-in-law made both cakes and did an AMAZING job as always!
We got a good laugh when our daughter jumped through and over all the single ladies of marrying age to catch the bridal bouquet. She went into basketball player mode, kept her eye on the "ball" (of flowers), and dove for the interception. She's in no hurry to get married, but she was proud of herself for using her new court skills so effectively.
Our boy snoozed on the way to/from the wedding, and both kids napped after our museum tour on Monday.
After church the next morning, I was tasked with keeping the baby awake in the SUV until after lunch. She was started to nod off, and all I had with me was a CVS receipt, so I had to get creative. I made hair bows, airplanes, Miss Baby USA sashes, bonnets,
earphone, arms casts, necklaces, belts, scarves, and bracelets, and she was wide awake by the time we got back to the house.
Then my husband and I took turns feeding her, but she does not like dark haired men at all. She cracked us up with the way she treated her three dark haired uncles. She would not even look at them. When I would leave her in a room with my husband for even a moment, she would look away from him and storm off in my direction. When I fed her pieces of berry her eyes lit up with joy, but when my husband gave her anything, she refused. When she saw me give my husband a piece from my plate which he then gave to her, she took it reluctantly, but she still would not look at him. He even tried cheating by giving her something he thought she would like better than fruit, Cheetos, but she refused him again. She is so funny, and I love her bunches.
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| She loves me! |
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| She loves him NOT! |
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| I don't want anything from you, not even Cheetos! |
On Sunday night, the family came over to celebrate three of the four boy's birthdays. My MIL usually prepares a special birthday meal and dessert for each of her sons and grandchildren (she now has 10) with a family get-together at her house. We usually miss these celebrations as the only son to live out of state. They all live within 15 minutes of each other. We are a 22 hour drive (or a $400-$600 plane ticket) away. While waiting for the rest of the family to arrive, our daughter went four-wheeling with Grandpa according to tradition. He's an D.O., but never offers a helmet to his passengers even though pediatricians always ask me if the kids wear helmets when biking. Anything goes when you live outside of town on many acres of land, I guess.
After dinner, my husband and I visited the raccoons and owls Grandma was rehabilitating at the time. One of the owls was ready to be released and flew right out over our heads when we stepped into their habitat. My husband helped build the raccoon habitat. It was a lot of work, and the materials are not cheap. Most people probably think licensed wildlife rescue and rehab specialists get paid to do what they do, but they do not get paid at all and most spend quite a lot of money out of their own pockets to do this work.
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| Grandma also rescued a kestrel while we were there while playing hostess to this migrant geese who come there every year. |
Monday was our museum day. We drove over an hour to Five Tribes Museum to view the 2nd phase of the museum exhibit featuring my husband's grandfather's artwork as well as pieces submitted by family members to commemorate what would have been his 100th birthday. The exhibit began in the Oklahoma Hall of Fame and ran for 3 months, but other museums have asked to present the show as well. The display was split between the Five Tribes Museum and a small exhibition center at Bacone College where my MIL attended and where her father attended for specialized art training as a young teen.
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Visitng Bacone College (left) & Five Tribes Museum (right)
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This piece picture at top in the scrapbook page below is called
"Balance of Power", and it could not be more appropriate for our
generation, even though he carved it several generations before us.
Most of his socio-political pieces have powerful and timely messages for
us today.
BALANCE OF POWER, Sassafras, 1977
"Over
200 years ago, democracy was born - the best form of government ever
conceived by man for the overall good of we, the people. However, there
is danger of losing it if we are not careful. The two heads on the snake
represent the Federal and State governments. The hands represent the
people. If either of the two heads is turned loose, it becomes too
strong. Its base can be bit and destroyed. And we the people can ask
too much from our own government and choke it to death. We can have a
good government as long as we keep it balanced." - Willard Stone
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| Note the pictures of Bob Hope receiving a carving commissioned for him by Stone. He also carved a piece for Reagan. Pat Nixon is also featured in the photos with him shown above. |
Another
amazing story behind his work is that he wanted to be a painter as a
boy but lost most of his thumb and parts of his index finger and middle
finger in a blasting cap accident. He was devastated initially, but he
overcame by finding another form of artistic expression, carving, which
he could do with his remaining fingers. In this piece, he sketched and
carved his own hand so you can see what his hands were like as he carved
each work of art.
We
purchased a bronze of this piece, "Boots and Feathers" for our home and to help pay for nursing home care and rent for Stone's wife (my husband's grandmother). My MIL is the child represented in this piece which represents the
blending of cultures as the native Americans adapted to the new
cowboy/western cultural around them. Holding on to the old traditions
while adapting to the ever changing world around us is a never ending
balancing act - upon which absolute truth must be our foundation to hold
us steady and on the narrow road. Since my husband is a descendant
of native Americans, and my mom is a direct descendant of Wild Bill
Cody, it seemed a fitting representation of our family as well. :-)
"Something
to Believe In" is one of the family's favorites. The young Indian brave
talking to his turtle friend depicts his own struggle to hold on to his
dreams of becoming an artist after the accident left him with only
seven full fingers.
Trail of Tears Trilogy (commissioned by the Cherokee Nation)
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| Uprooted |
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| The Exodus |
I wish I could have gotten a better picture of this pencil drawing by
Grandpa Stone called John 3:16. The symbolism and message are awesome.
There is a poem that goes with it that Jeff's mom is going to try to
locate for me for a fuller explanation. You can see the hand of God
reaching down to man and man reaching up to God with Mary and Jesus and
the red blood line flowing from God into her womb and interestingly,
wrapped around Mary's head), for Jesus is both God and man.
Mary and Jesus are holding a cross and resting in the hand of God. The
foundation is the earth ("For God so loved the world") and hatching out
of each egg beneath them is a face representing different races,
nations, and tongues with the words, "WITHOUT REGARD TO RACE CREED OR
COLOR" written on the block beneath the egg. The 3 points to the flame
represent the Trinity, and a flame is a symbol of the Holy Spirit. I'm
sure there is much more to it than what I just grasped during my initial
examination, but it sure is lovely. And consider that he drew this
without most of his thumb, index and middle fingers.
His daughter Evelyn wrote the poem, "River of Life", to go with it.
This corner featured family pieces. The pieces in front were carved by Willard's son based on Willard's drawings
This blue patina carving by Jason is one of my favorites.
My husband's mom had a number of pieces chosen for the exhibit. I love her mixed media 3D paintings. She also submitted a gorgeous stained glass mosaic. The prettiest glass art she's ever done IMO is the window in her master bath shower.
Our daughter submitted a piece (thanks to some art coaching from a professional artist friend of mine who offered to teach her pro-bono). Our friend never touched a brush, but I could see her influence in the impressionistic style our daughter used. Her great grandfather typically carved images from nature, so she chose to do a self portrait of herself holding her bunny.
Each time I get to view Willard Stone's work (Jeff's grandfather), I
marvel at both his talent and his message. As we walked through museum
exhibits honoring his centennial (an extension of the original exhibit
hosted by the Oklahoma Hall of Fame) yesterday, I considered how
extremely divided America has become over crimes of the past.
Stone understood racial oppression. His family was uprooted from their
land by white men and forced to travel the Trail of Tears until they s
ettled
in the Arkansas/Oklahoma area. He had every reason to be angry and
bitter. But his people did not dwell on past grievances or seek
revenge, for vengeance is the Lord's to repay. Instead, they poured
their heart and energy into building a new home for themselves and found
joy and strength in their resilience and in their faith. They chose an
attitude of gratitude which lifts up and prospers instead of planting
seeds of bitterness which destroy.
Many of Stone's sons and grandsons (including my husband and his
brother) served in the armed forces, and their family supports freedom
and democracy with a reverence and degree of patriotism that entitled,
spoiled, embittered Americans cannot comprehend. Why do we continue to
hold grudges based on skin color or crimes of the past? If Stone could
forgive white men who so mistreated his people, why can't blacks and
whites forgive each other for crimes committed hundreds of years ago by
people with whom that person may have no relation?
Inspired by
the Bible, white men led the abolition movement. Inspired by the
writings of mostly Jewish people and the perfect life of a Jew named
Jesus, blacks found the courage to help their brothers escape to
freedom. Whoever we are at war with right now could be the descendants
of a civil rights heroes. And even if the person we call our enemy is
related to a chief KKK leader, I know that God's purposes on earth are
all about redemption. He doesn't just clean up dirty hearts; he gives
us new hearts washed in His righteousness.
PLEASE, for the love
of all that is good and right, let us follow Stone's example by laying
down our hatred and exchanging it for forgiveness, love, and respect.
The one who suffers most is always, regardless of who oppresses whom,
the one who refuses to forgive!
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