How Teachers Can Relate to the Frustrations of my Typical Kid

My 10-year-old has never seemed like a typical boy his age. As early as age 3, he would engage adults in conversations about topics more interesting to adults than kids. He would talk to Nana about gardening, decorating, and the weather. When with Pops, he talks about Duke basketball and mowing the lawn. He talks to his dad about space exploration, nuclear reactors, military strategy, and computers. He talks to me about theology, current events (he's especially interested in N. Korea's nuclear weapon capacity), politics, fitness, and finance - to the degree that he can understand anyway.
His favorite magazine right now is Popular Mechanics, and he also seems to like Money Magazine. He still likes Legos but primarily the programmable Mindstorm kind his dad likes best. When he was 4, he busied himself while I was homeschooling his sister by assembling his father's Lego Mindstorm kit. When he was ready to program it, he logged into his father's computer (apparently he had memorized the password by watching his dad type it in repeatedly over time) and figured out how to program the thing. Lego instructions are in pictures, and he had watched his dad to do that enough, too, I guess.

 

When our school hired new teachers, bought new textbooks, and replaced some chairs, he asked how that increased spending affected the school's debt-to-income ratio. When we spend money on large home improvements, he asks me if we have enough money to do that and today asked how paying mortgage interest impacts our income taxes. He wants to start investing/trading stocks, but he keeps blowing/investing his money on Pokemon cards. He'll get frustrated if you don't take that game seriously, playing by the rules and strategizing effectively.

He likes obeying rules when he can see the utility in them. Rules that seek to maintain order and fairness are his favorite. While his room may be messy, he generally likes structure and order, so when kids his age act like kids his age by running around wild, crazy, and loud when they are supposed to be working on a project, he gets annoyed. And his biggest peeve is when boys do not follow the game rules, cheating during recess. When kids in his project group smash what they are supposed to be studying or use tools inappropriately, he gets aggravated. So, as he was relating to me about his day today, he vented his frustration over the fact that the kids in his class acted like....typical kids.

"Did you lose your temper?" I asked him?

"Yes!" he cried!

"Uh-oh - did you act out in anger and get in trouble?" I asked.

"No, I only lost it on the inside," he replied.

"Did you politely ask your classmates to follow the instructions or tell them how their behavior made you feel?"

"Yes," he said, "BUT THEY WOULD NOT LISTEN!"

"Then now you know how it feels to be a parent or a teacher who gets to endure such behavior by kids all day long. Perhaps you should show some empathy and servant-minded kindness to your teachers and other parents. You could help make their days more tolerable, even pleasant, you know." - I said (or lectured).

While I may think my little man is odd, quirky, or not quite normal, I'm guessing there is no such thing as a typical kid, for they are all wonderfully, beautifully, and uniquely made. And if they behaved according to a predictable pattern, then parenting would be too easy. May we all seek to exude more patience, harness our tempers, love without condition, and find ways to better empathize, but let him not miss out, I pray, on the simple pleasures of just being a kid.
#PracticingPatience #LearningEmpathy

The Power of the Incarnation Means No Blanket Required

My daughter and I take turns on Sunday mornings volunteering with our church's special needs ministry. She serves during one service, and I serve during the next.  We usually work one-on-on with children to help them integrate into standard classrooms.  We've worked with kids who have Down's syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, autism, and a wide array of physical or mental handicaps.

The child we've been working with lately is gifted with an exceptionally brilliant mind.  At age four, she reads, memorizes, and comprehends at levels higher than many kids twice her age. However, she has sensory processing issues and possibly other diagnoses (TBD) that often leave her in a puddle of tears and tantrums by the end of the last hour.

This past Sunday was different. She kept telling the Christmas story (the entire story with details few adults remember to include) while moving magnetic figures on the class dry erase board to illustrate the story as she spoke. She took such delight in telling the story that when it was time to present the class lesson, we began by having her share the Christmas story with the rest of the class.  She was very dramatic in her presentation and completely captivated the attention of the other kids.  She also led us all in singing the Christmas songs from her Christmas CD at home.  That child knew every word.  While she never ceases to amaze us with her intellect, what truly astounding me this past week was that she stayed so calm, not just while presenting her portion of the lesson, but also throughout the class period.  She usually carries various therapy toys or implements in her hands which help calm her, but this time she did not want or need any of them.

She connected with me for the first time that day in a way that let me know almost intuitively what she needed and what to avoid because it might cause her stress. But the stress she usually feels was absent that day.

The miracle that morning, which flowed out of her repeated telling of the Christmas story, reminded me of the segment from A Charlie Brown Christmas when Linus tells the audience what Christmas is all about.  When Linus appears in Charlie Brown comics, he is almost always carrying a blue security blanket.  But when Linus recounts the angel's appearance to Mary and cries out, "Fear not!" (Luke 1:30), he dropped his blanket and continued telling the rest of the story without it.

   

"The birth of Jesus separates us from our fears.

The birth of Jesus frees us from the habits we are unable (or unwilling) to break ourselves.

The birth of Jesus allows us to simply drop the false security we have been grasping so tightly, and learn to trust and cling to Him instead." -  Jason Soroski

After recounting the Christmas story with great joy and leading us all in worship songs, our little friend needed no coping devices in her hands to help her stay calm.  The things that usually upset her did not phase her. She was at perfect peace.  That's the power of the incarnation at work!   No blanket required!

²⁶ And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,
²⁷ To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.
²⁸ And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.
²⁹ And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.
³⁰ And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.
³¹ And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus.
³² He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
³³ And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.  (Luke 1: 26-33)

A mural along the marketplace walls in Bethlehem (January 2016)

Nurturing the God Given Love of Learning through an Impromptu STEM Lesson

I miss teaching STEM this year, but parents continue to tell me how that one year of STEM class has made their children more prone to observe nature and make inferences about nature and the way God put the world together and to conduct experiments to test their hypotheses. What joy these stories bring.  

On the way home from school (on 9/27/16), my son said, "It seems like ice melts faster in water than in air even when the temperature of water we drink is typically cooler than air. Is that true? Why?"

When we got home and before I could finish unloading the van, he had already set up an experiment where he observed that an ice cube melted completely in a bowl of cooler water before the same sized ice cube had barely begun to melt in a bowl of air.

So we began the process I love so much of asking questions to figure out why. Once he understood the factors affecting heat transfer coefficient, we considered what his discovery might reveal to us about God and/or spiritual truth. (Yes, I tend to spiritualize everything because God created all things to reveal His glory and because it makes life, discovery, and exploration much more fascinating.)

Then we compared the references to water and air in the Bible and took special note of references to "living water".

In Ephesians 2, the term "air" describes Satan's work of hardening the human heart so it will not melt.

"And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest." - Ephesians 2:1-3

Then my son noted that an icy heart would more easily melt if submerged in living water. John 7:38 teaches us that for "he who believes in [Christ], ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water."

When Christ returns as conquering King to throw down the prince of the air, He will come swiftly, just as air molecules move faster than water molecules, and those who believe and possess the life of Christ (the living water) in them will meet Him in the air and live with Him forever. (1 Thessalonians 4:16-18) And with all those water molecules in the air reflecting the glorious light of the Son, imagine how splendid that rainbow will be!

School, Cute Kids, and Crazy Critters

Middle School
One week I was rejoicing with surprise over how much I had been enjoying parenting the middle school years, but the following week, I realized that we just hadn't reached the difficult stage yet, which apparently begins in 7th grade. So we're donning our Ephesians 6 armor and constantly examining God's word for wisdom and truth. We moms are committed to praying each other through these middle school years, but given the trials that I sense await us around the corner, I thought a before and after picture would be amusing. Here is our before pic taken after only 17 days of 7th grade. How old and worn out will we each look by the end of the school year?

We're already seeing lots of mood swings and friend drama, but she still loves her friends dearly and goes to a lot of effort to decorate her friends' lockers.  It must be the top love language for middle school girls.

Kinderbuddies
The kinderbuddies program is very popular at our school.  Each 4th grader is paired up with a kindergarten student and serves as a big brother/big sister to help the younger students in their transition to school.  In our son's case, two boys are assigned to one younger student because our kindergarten enrollment is down this year.  They officially meet once a week, but they look for each other throughout the school year to wave, smile, and offer encouragement. Our son's class attended their kinderbuddies' flag pinning ceremony last week as well.  During their weekly time together, my son will read books to his buddy, teach him things he is learning in 4th grade (like the bones of the body as shown in the picture below), or help him with a craft. 

 

While driving my son home from school one day this past month, we had the following conversation:

Introverted boy: Sometimes I wish I was the only kid at school.

Me: [Gasping while mentally planning therapy sessions for him until remembering that introverts just need a little downtime after being around lots of people all day.]

Less than two minutes later.....

Introverted boy: I can't wait to go to school tomorrow because I get to read to my kinderbuddy and hang out with him. He's so cool. I sure do love my kinderbuddy time.

Introverts may need their quiet and their space, but they love others deeply with beautiful sincerity. I'm so glad I married one.

4th Grade

Based on his grades, the feedback I'm getting from his teacher who sings his praises, how much he loves his teacher, and pictures being shared on the class website, I think my son enjoys school more than he lets on.  He still thinks homeschooling is better, but he sure seems to have a lot of fun there, no matter how strict people say it is.

Mrs. Gardner's 4th grade class

His best friend Ben isn't in his class this year, but they play on the same football team and see each other at recess and lunch.  They still get together often during the weekends, too.  Here are a few recent outings of those silly guys together.


Middle School Teachers
Our new science teacher is every students' favorite. She's a huge blessing to the school, and I'm doing my best to keep her encouraged.  She's hands-own, organized, and so spunky.  I found this little pun on her classroom wall the other day.

 I hope they also do a lot of laughing in that class like we did in STEM GEMS.

Teachers need all the love and support they can get.

So, I've been trying to love and support another of our daughter's teachers with anonymous gifts and encouraging notes each week.  The gifts usually involve her favorite color and her favorite food.  I'm also trying to get to the school when I can to help her with lunch duty, so she can have a few moments of peace and quiet during the lunch period.  We take the 7th and 8th graders outside to the field house (and field) to release some of their energy and their noise.

My first day helping at lunch felt like a scientific investigation. For that day's sociological research study, we tested the validity of perceived stereotype vulnerabilities associated with 7th and 8th grade subjects with regard to student engagement, degree of respectful behavior, mode of emotional release, inclusive tendencies, and cross cultural, cross gender interactions as complex macro-nutrients are infused into the bloodstream during a brief period of release from the containment area while also being exposed to solar radiation and the scent of well used turf grass. (AKA - Middle School Lunch Duty )

School Pictures
While I know it can be very self-defeating to compare oneself with others and strongly warn against it, I still think it helps give our kids perspective when we share how much worse life was for us at their age or for children in other parts of the world. Out of all my tales of suffering and woe, nothing made my daughter feel better about her situation quite like showing her my 7th grade school picture when she wasn't happy with hers. The feathered wings had her in hysterics. :-) #anythingtomakehersmile #noshameover40 #awkwardyears
 

7th Grade - Daughter (L) vs. Mother (R) - She has her dad's smile!

Guys' Turn - Our son is in 4th grade, and I think his dad is in middle school in this photo.

By the time our kids are seniors in high school, let's hope our daughter doesn't have 80's hair like mine, but I imagine our boy will look like a Bop magazine pin up poster, as did his dad.

Crazy Critters

When the critters play hide and seek but forget who was supposed to seek, I have to find them both.

Orwell likes to do what Muffin does. He sits in Muffin's cage, hops around the house, and even eats Muffin's leafy greens. He has a plethora of resting positions of his own, but this pose is the quintessential bunny sprawl, likely copied from Muffin as well. Now let's see if he makes his ears lop for his next ape trick. #CopyCat

They also both seem to enjoy yoga and/or Pilates. Here is Muffin's latest pose.

 

The vet told our cat he was getting a little pudgy, so it looks like Orwell has started the couch to Christmas tree training program.

I buy my husband's cat all his food, litter, multiple deluxe scratching posts, litter box, toys, etc. I let him live here even after he destroyed all the carpets, expensive area rugs, leather sofas, recliners, chairs, bar stools, etc. which I spent countless hours shopping for to find just the right match for our new home. I even just bought him blue soft claws with shiny sparkles for his next spa day instead of getting him declawed. I organize play dates for him with his pal Boo. I discipline him gently and hang out with him all day long. I even let him take a portion of my husband's affection which should all belong to me. The cat sheds hair everywhere, but I'm the one to clean it all up. I even let him sleep on or under my luxurious sateen bedspread. But this cat still despises me. I try to be nice to him and play dumb cat games with him, but all I get in return are claws in my skin and sinister hissing. So how fair is it that I am also the one who gets to take this cat to the vet?  He recently got a boatload of shots, so I continue to be his arch enemy. 

 Orwell got a manicure earlier this month. He's trying a new color this time. How does blue sparkle work for him? Since my husband loves this cat so much, and I'm always scolding the cat, I jokingly call this the manicure that saved our marriage. (This soft claws were the last straw between the cat and me.  If he didn't stop ruining everything in the house, he would have to go. He still scratches, but these claw covers keep him from piercing so much.)

Two little critters sitting in a (cat) tree

 One is as curious as can be.

Go and make disciples, teaching them to obey God's word

The women's ministry for whom I write is doing a devotional series on the great commission (Matthew 28:19-20). To equip and inspire us to make disciples, we've been examining the life and ministry of Jesus as our example.  Learning God’s word, teaching others His truth, and helping others learn how to study and apply God’s word are vital to discipleship. My contribution to this series was a devotion on Matthew 13 in which Jesus teaches through eight parables. Let’s consider the familiar who, what, where, when, what, how, and why questions as we explore this passage.   
 

In Matthew 13, we find Jesus teaching the crowds along the shore of the Sea of Galilee.  The who includes Jesus, His disciples who had left everything to follow Him, and a crowd of curious bystanders.  The what in this chapter are the truths of the kingdom of Heaven. Broadly, the what encompasses all of Scripture. The where in this chapter was inside a boat, a safe distance from the mob but close enough to be heard, along the shore of the Sea of Galilee where large crowds gathered to hear Him.  Jesus taught God’s absolute truth to all who followed Him, and He made disciples wherever he went.  

Matthew 12 provides the when for Matthew 13. These events occurred on the Sabbath, later in the day after a busy morning of traveling to the synagogue with His disciples, teaching the crowds in the synagogue and wherever he journeyed next, repeatedly refuting the Pharisees’ charges against Him, and healing many people.  On that same Sabbath day, Jesus left the house and sat down by the Sea of Galilee (Matthew 13:1). I presume that He went there to find a peaceful, quiet place to pray and decompress after the exhausting events earlier that day. 

 The view of the Sea of Galilee from Peter's house which may be similar to the scene in Matthew 13 

Any solitude He may have sought did not last long, however, because great crowds gathered around Him causing Him to move to the boat where He continued teaching once again.   Jesus was faithful to make disciples whenever the opportunity arose.  He did not organize a formal speaking/travel schedule six months in advance as modern itinerant speakers tend to do.  He surrendered His schedule, His home, and His convenience entirely to the Father’s will.  He took time to get alone with God and pray, but being available to make disciples always took priority over His personal preferences or comfort.

College students who attended Bible studies I hosted, curious classmates whose faith had been challenged by professors, advisors, co-workers, managers, neighbors, friends I met at the gym, childhood friends reunited through Facebook, cashiers, drug addicts, battered women, women in crisis pregnancy situations, long lost relatives, my students at school, and my children come to mind as examples of those who have entered my life for the greater purposes of learning God’s word and growing in discipleship.  Who have I missed because I was too busy, too distracted, or too tired to notice?  When have I been too selfish with my time to make myself available for discipleship relationships? Have I been listening to the Lord enough to go where people are waiting to receive kingdom truths? Who has God sent to you for discipleship in the truth?  Are you faithfully teaching them God’s word whenever and wherever the Lord leads?

How did Jesus teach His followers in Matthew 13?  He taught them patiently and lovingly through the use of parables.  As a teacher, I have tried to incorporate practical l life applications and true stories that would interesting or familiar to my students to paint parallels to both Biblical truth and to the academic lesson for that day.  Parables bridge students’ understanding of current knowledge to new precepts being taught.  Whenever students encounter the familiar scene used in the parable, they are often reminded of the analogous spiritual truth.  

Knowledge builds upon itself, but if there is no foundation of faith to which new spiritual truth can attach, understanding is hindered (vs. 10-17).  Thus, many in the crowd, including His chosen disciples, could not understand the parables.  Lest the enemy snatch up the words of truth (vs. 19), Jesus steadfastly and patiently answered their questions, often with another parable.  He did not hastily spoon feed them facts like schoolteachers are tempted to do before a test deadline. Instead, he offered thoughtful explanations to build understanding and help them think at a deeper level, so that the truths would take root permanently. 

We’re more likely to be patient disciple-makers if we first pray for God to prepare those we train to receive His truth.  We must be faithful to equip others while trusting God to bring forth the fruit, even to a hundredfold (Matthew 13: 23).  Ask in faith that the word of God in them will be like the mustard seed which grew tall and strong, providing shelter, strength, and wisdom to others while expanding the kingdom of Heaven like leaven in flour (vs. 12, 31-33).

^”And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.“ (Colossians 1: 9-10)

Answering the why questions should inspire more faithfulness in making disciples.  The first answer is simply because Jesus commanded us to equip and to teach believers.  Secondly, as heirs of God’s kingdom and stewards of His great treasures, it’s a joyful privilege and a blessing to help others grow in God’s wisdom.  These truths, which had been hidden since the earth was formed (vs. 35) but have now been entrusted to us, are of immeasurable worth (vs. 44-46).  The prophets and saints before us longed to see, hear, and know the truths we now have (vs. 17).  We also make disciples to bless others (vs. 16, 51-52). Finally, we train others in the word of God out of loving compassion, for the harvest day is coming when the angels will separate the evil from the righteous, and the wicked will be punished forever.  (vs. 36-43 and 47-50).  Love should compel and energize us, just as it drove Jesus throughout His ministry, even during His agonizing death on the cross for us.  As we make disciples, teaching them to know, love, and obey God and His word, we are impacting the kingdom of God forever and fulfilling our God given purpose.

Appreciating Cows, Water, Words, Cupcakes, Critters, and Selfies

Chick-fil-A Cow Appreciation Day has become an annual tradition for us.  Usually I dress like a cow and take the kids, but this year, my husband took them so I could catch up on work back home.  The things we will do for free chicken.  We almost always see church friends when we go to Cow Appreciation Day.  This year, friends saw our family, but our family didn't recognize them.  They must have had some really elaborate costumes.

Orwell was hoping to get in on the free chicken offer as well, but his cow costume made him look more like a Holland Lop bunny, specifically our late pet Cody, than a cow, and I'm assuming that the only pets allowed in public restaurants are trained service animals.

We joined a pool/fitness center this summer, but we haven't had too many opportunities to go with so many summer activities.  Plus, I'm not a big fan of the pool now that my vein disease has gotten so bad I don't want to gross out strangers in public with the sight of my spidery legs. Our nanny took the kids a few time while I worked.  But who really needs a pool when you have a water spigot, balloons, buckets, and an imagination?  Water balloons and paint buckets have been favorite recreational toys this summer.

During the few moments of free time our daughter could find this summer, she wrote another "book". I am thrilled that she is actually writing out some of the wild and imaginative stories in her head. I'm also reminded of a promise I made myself many years ago to write and publish a true story that shows God's sovereignty when things seem out of control. It is a story of redemption, hope, and grace that should inspire others in their faith journey and possibly serve as a ministry resource for women in crisis. But I have a feeling my little tween who charges through life without seeing any of the obstacles in her way will get her fiction stories published before her mama writes the first chapter of the only story she knows.

The kids' interest in culinary arts continues.  Our daughter is still cooking most of her meals and preparing dinner for all of us a few nights a week.  

She's also teaching her brother to cook.  He mastered eggs and cupcakes last week.  Their culinary skills are derailing any summer nutrition goals I may have considered setting for myself. These blueberry cupcakes with lemon cream cheese frosting were delicious!

 We finally found a temporary solution to Orwell's destructive tendencies.  Each month, my husband and daughter trim his claws and cover them with fake nails called "soft claws".  These fake cat claws come in all colors. I'm tempted to get him glow-in-the-dark neon green claws next, but he's wearing the clear version now. They are working as long as he doesn't pull them off.

Orwell continues to amuse me by his sleeping positions. He must have been having a really good dream the other day because he looked like he was clapping. "If you're happy and you know it, clap your [paws]".

Orwell certainly leads a luxurious lifestyle, though you would never know it from the discontented expression he always wears on his face.

Muffin has been collaborating with me on the development of a STEM lesson on pendulum motion.   I think my students will appreciate all her demonstrations.

When I don't see the Roomba on the charger/docking station, it's sometimes because Muffin has been taking it for joy rides around the house.  She still loves hopping onto the center, activating the start button, and going for solo rides.

I don't get to see the Mighty Moms (my workout group) when school is out of session, so Muffin has been filling in as my workout buddy and coach.  She watches and critiques me very closely.

To increase my workout intensity, she'll hop on my back while I'm doing push-ups to add more weight or tickle my arms and push me up higher when I do starfish push-ups or side balances.

Sometimes she'll demonstrate various HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) workout routines, but she gives out after about 24 seconds.  She's definitely better at speed and agility than endurance.  I haven't perfected the wheelie as well as she has, but my binkies are improving. :-)

When Muffin isn't pushing me hard in our home gym, I like to go biking on the greenway.  Recent flash flooding destroyed the large section of bike trail that connects the section behind our neighborhood to the lake, so it will be a long time before I see the sun set over the lake.  This picture, taken on July 9, is the last one I'll get to take from my bike for a few months.

When I first attempted to bike to the lake after the big storm and before I realized that entire section of greenway was closed due to damages, I learned a value lesson. After flash flooding, take the sharp turns slowly if you bike the greenway, or you could end up like Absalom. Had my tires been fully inflated and my frame a tad bigger, I'm not sure I could have ducked low enough.

 

The tween hijacked my phone again and changed my screen background to this photo. She either forgot my promise to share all the pics she posts to my phone background or she thinks this picture needs to be immortalized.

Instead of selfies, I'll close with mini-me pics instead. Here is a side-by-side of my husband in his geeky 6th grade phase vs. our son in 3rd grade.

Little boys with glasses and smarts
Become handsome men who melt girls' hearts.

As long as he lives, the one on the left is mine.
And I'm treasuring my time with the one who is nine.

Making Hard Decisions When God's Will Isn't Immediately Clear

I've been struggling since last March over whether or not to continue teaching STEM next year. I love the students.  I love learning.  I love the life lessons that flow from it.  I'm passionate about bringing STEM enrichment to our school and want my life to count most of all.  Teaching is fulfilling in the sense of doing something that has value, but some days I wonder what I'm doing in the classroom with no teacher training and no expertise on classroom management. All I have is a love for STEM, kids, and the STEM methodologies I employ, for the way they ignite a love for learning and appeal to non-traditional learners.  But I'm not very efficient at lesson planning, and I never know when to stop improving my lessons.  I always have that oppressive, nagging stress of having to plan the next lesson, and I rarely do anything on weekends because I'm so wrapped up in lesson planning.  I never have the sense or verbal affirmation that I am a good teacher, so I keep trying harder and harder.  The parents have expressed great gratitude for all my efforts, but that just makes me feel guilty when I consider quitting.  I'm hoping just giving up tutoring will free up more time, but the engineering job I love is taking up more and more time as well.

I struggled with guilt over enjoying my consulting/engineering job so much and fearing I was taking the easy, worldly road instead of the seemingly more fruitful road of teaching.  I'm hard on myself and tend to think I'm supposed to do whatever is the hardest instead of what is the easiest. That pattern is evident throughout my life.  Almost every decision we make for our kids has been the harder one on us but with the highest potential for long term benefit for them.

I have received some very positive feedback recently at work for modest efforts compared to the grueling efforts I put into teaching, yet teaching is such a thankless job. I spend all year begging the school to let me implement just one small change (because no one who is better equipped to do it will do it and because lack of funding is the excuse for every new idea), yet at my job where I use my strengths on a regular basis without needing to put in so much effort, I am rewarded and appreciated for nearly ever little idea I suggest.  Even so, if I am seeking the approval or man or vain flattery to stroke my ego instead of seeking only to please God, then the job is bad for my heart, bad for my pride, and not what I should be doing.

So my prayer partners have been praying with me over the decision, given that I don't feel like I can do both, or certainly not do both to my standard of excellence without my family suffering as a result.  My husband prefers that I be at the school, but during my years of teaching/tutoring, he has had to pull a lot of weight at home because I've been too busy with lesson plans and student events to take care of my duties as wife/mom.  Today, our church published a devotion I had spent over 10 hours writing last week about wives submitting to their husbands (based on Vashti & Xerxes in Esther 1), so I know I should submit to him.  Yet he hasn't insisted that I work at the school.  He just wants me to keep my focus on the kids, which is wise indeed, for they will be gone before I know it, and I don't want to miss out any opportunities to sow into their hearts.

Then a wise mentor advised me to do what brings the most fulfillment, not necessarily the most happiness.  That's tough because no matter where I work or serve, if I do it for the glory of God, then He will bring eternal fruit out of it, but I feel most fulfilled in relationships with others.  When teaching STEM, I connect in some part with the young students, but not so much with other adults, and I much prefer to work with adults where we can talk on a deeper level - applying God's truth to critical life issues, sharpening one another as iron sharpens iron. I connect more easily with adults, but I did find some of those connections with high school & college aged students, so I know I'm supposed to work with that age in some capacity at some point, be it as a bible study leader or Sunday School teacher or just being involved with athletics programs in which my kids participate.

But the connections I have at my engineering job are different, deeper, richer, and more diverse.  The practical aspects of the job make it the clear choice in the eyes of the world, and make me seem a fool to give it up, but I must always remember that man's wisdom is foolishness in the eyes of God, and God's wisdom is foolishness in the eyes of man.

¹⁸ Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise. ¹⁹ For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”; ²⁰ and again, “The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.”  (1 Corinthians 3:18-20)

This particular workplace is unlike any other with the rare benefits of a relaxed, encouraging, team building environment, flexibility to manage oneself, strong support staff, opportunity to travel across the state in a consultative role meeting people from all walks of life without going too far to necessitate an overnight stay, so I'm home with my family in the evenings, an inner circle of like minded people who meet to pray for our country and our co-workers during lunch off site, a full scale health and wellness program, fun co-workers, and potential for full-time employment when the kids are older.

When I left my career to stay home with the kids full time, I never thought I could return to my original career field, given that the industry is always changing and my technological savvy has dwindled over the years, so to have the opportunity to pick back up where I left off but with more of an engineering/process improvement focus, which is more my wheelhouse, is a miracle.  Part-time engineering jobs are few and far between, but with this job, I get to practically set my own hours, depending upon need and my own availability, so I've been averaging just under10 hours a week when most convenient for me.  It really is the perfect scenario.

Then when my husband enrolled our son in Pop Warner football (two hour practices every day) and both kids added an extra music lesson each week, I considered how much busier the kids and I will be (not just our kids but other students I had anticipated would want to take my STEM class), I sensed the number of students available to take my STEM class would be lower this year. My own son would not have the time, and he's the reason I started the program in the first place.

So, I have been discussing other options with the administration for including STEM as part of the regular school day while adding small Olympiad type clubs for the few students who cannot get enough STEM enrichment.  I committed to helping out with new programming, but I declined to continue in the all consuming role as administrator, developer, and teacher who also handled all the registrations, accounting, equipment purchasing, lab set up and clean up, marketing, facility rental, curriculum writing, etc.

My heart sunk as I considered all the fun we had last year, so I went to work today feeling conflicted.  I had shared with my prayer partners the night before about how much better my relationships have become with my children...connecting on a deeper level with more mature conversations and less drama.  One friend said, "Maybe your new job where you are being fulfilled (maybe she meant utilizing my God given strengths and bents) is affecting your attitude and the joy you experience in parenting."  Bam! I had never considered that leaving my children to go do something outside of the home could make me a better parent, but oh how I need the escape..not every day of course, but one or two days a week makes for a nice break, and I do think about my kids while I travel to/from work or client sites.  I think about ways to love them better, and I usually come home energized and happy.  When I taught at the kids' school, I came home and crashed on the couch not wanting to look at another kid until I had slept at least six hours.

Then today I had the most awesome workday. I got to travel with my favorite like-minded coworker, and we shared openly about about our fears and our faith.  Being politically minded in this day and age can certainly wreak havoc on the spirit as the truth of our nation's utter corruption and eminent demise is ugly indeed. As I drove, I shared so many treasures stored up in my heart. She didn't mind my rambling, though, for she was truly listening and ministering back to me. All the related scriptures I've memorized in the past came to remembrance and poured out, encouraging us both..  So much wisdom teachers and mentors have given me over the years, and life lessons I taught my STEM students came to mind just when we both seemed to need them most.

We talked a little about the Black Lives Matter movement and the all out assault on police officers kicking off a sort of civil war in our country during our drive.  I tried to infuse hope into every word I spoke instead of my more typical "Obama raised this terrorist organization in our own nation to destroy us" type rants. Even though I was trying to encourage her, I was actually encouraging myself in the process and being reminded of how much I need to fill my heart with God's truth to push back so much of the negativity flooding the headlines.

When we walked into the restaurant recommended by our clients, we saw two police officers in uniform sitting with a large group of people not in uniform, but we assumed if they were eating with policemen, they were supportive of men in blue, too. I told my co-worker that I wanted to buy those policemen lunch, and she was all in. On that extremely rare occasion, I actually had some cash, just two larger bills. So I asked our waitress to put one of my large bills in with the check she brought to the police officer's table and to tell them someone wanted to say thank you to the police officers for serving, but not to let them know who.  We wondered if the lady would really do it or pocket the cash. We talked like we weren't paying any attention to the police officer's table, but I think the waitress did exactly as we asked her, and she came back later, beaming about how much they appreciated it.

Then I got to thinking....those police officers and everyone at their table were white.  This town we were in seemed old school and more segregated compared to where I live where white Americans are the minority. Our waitress was black. Both my business partner and I are white. She may have assumed we only appreciate white people, so I pulled out the other bill (same amount as I gave the police officers and same amount she would have pocketed had she not been trustworthy) and added that to her usual tip with a note of thanks. My friend and I were both glowing because it just feels good to bless someone. I'm not the spontaneous Random Acts of Kindness type person, though I certainly have wanted to be more aware of ways to serve others, so this was all a God thing. 

I now have no money in my wallet, but my heart is so full. I don't actually bring home any money after paying taxes, giving tithes & offerings, and paying a nanny, so today was a net negative for me financially, but the internal blessings are immeasurable.  

Anxieties overwhelm us when we feel like we have no control over what's happening in the world and when evil seems to be grabbing little victories.  Even though we know God has won the war, the little battles sent to wake up the world to their need for Christ can make us feel beaten.   But we can make a difference, pushing back hate right where we are, simply by loving others near us with simple acts of kindness and generosity.   How can we be anxious when we just cheered up six hearts today with less than what a counseling session with therapist would cost?

All the way back we talked some more, and we both realized how much God had ministered to us both that day.  She filled my love tank, and I think God worked through me to help her. What if I had been silent about my faith as the politically correct, and many Democrats, especially Hillary Clinton, insist?  She and I never would have connected on a heart level or been able to share spiritual truths in a way that will mold our hearts not just for now but for eternity.

After work I wrote out the following notes and quotes to share with her so we can both use them as reference when either of us grow anxious or weary of the world.

The world may be broken, but He restores my soul.  The world is filled with evil and corruption, but He leads His people along paths of righteousness! (Psalm 23:2-3)

Violence and wars rage around us, but He is our peace. (Isaiah 9:6, Micah 5:5, John 16:33a)

Evil seems to be winning the current battles, but He has won the war. He has overcome the world. (John 16:33b)

Trials befall us; loved ones leave us, friends betray us; and injustices overwhelm us, but God's love never ceases and His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness! (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Rebounding Video: Imagine you are the top tennis ball, supportive like-minded friends could be the middle ball, and Christ is the basketball. 

Consider Daniel and Joseph who went from imprisonment or captive slave to second in command in pagan nations.   Mordecai is another example with some great humor to enjoy when you consider all the many instances of irony for proud Haman.  Ruth, Job, and Jonah have great rebound stories too.Any hardship or suffering we face will enable us to soar higher than we ever were before. Believe it. Claim it. See also Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." -John 10:10 -NASB

(Note:  Just because Satan wants to kill and destroy does not mean that God will stop giving us abundant life.  Christ has already won the victory, and nothing can snatch us out of his hands, so we much choose to live in the knowledge of that truth.  We have to let the thief steal our joy.  God doesn't give the spoils back to the defeated one.  That's our choice.)

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 

(IOW, Satan may seem to win a few battles, but God has already won the war!)

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." - Philippians 4:8

(Note: Push out negative thoughts by filling your heart with positive truth - then there isn't any room for negativity.  God gives us lots of armor in Ephesians 6 but, he gives us one offensive weapon, the sword of truth or His WORD.  Conquer anxious thoughts with upper cuts, jabs, and thrusts of that might sword.)               

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."  - Philippians 4:13

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength." Corrie Ten Boom

"I counted dollars while God counted crosses
I counted gain while He counted losses.
I counted my worth by the things gained in store,
But He sized me up by the scars that I bore.
I coveted honors, and sought for degrees.
He wept as He counted the hours on my knees.
I never knew till one day by a grave,
How vain are the things that we spend life to save.
I did not yet know, 'til a Friend from above,
Said richest is he who is rich in God's love."
(Author unknown) 

[My note - nothing we lose here on earth really matters in the big picture - it's all a blip on the timeline of eternity.]

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." (1 Corinthians 4:17)

“Please help me not to be so busy making a living, I forget to make a life.” 

When I came home after that awesome work day, still riding the buzz brought the random acts of kindness, I came into the kitchen to find the kids working together...on their own initiative...happily preparing one of my favorite meals from scratch for dinner so I would not have to cook after a long but fruitful work day. Random acts of kindness are contagious and bring healing to the soul, so let's keep the RAK virus spreading across America where it is needed most.

Parenting Discovery: If kids see what you deem as a chore as a form of creative play and the decision to do that task is their own idea with the freedom to make whatever they want instead of being told to cook something you specify for dinner, then it isn't a chore they complain about, but rather, a fun project to enjoy - TOGETHER! 

Last Few Weeks of School 2016

The month of May was overflowing with fun school activities.

STEM
I finished up the STEM semester with a field trip to a new trampoline jumping zone to reinforce free fall and rebounding principles from the previous lesson.  That unit held one of my favorite life applications, but these kids were too young to appreciate the life lessons given that the only "free fall" they've ever experienced this far in life is not getting the sugar cereal they wanted for breakfast. Ugh!  My lessons are obviously geared toward older students.  But while there we did at least get to practice free fall and rebounding.  One important demonstration I wanted them to try came from the experiment we did in class in which you place two or three balls on top of each other in this order from bottom to top, basketball, bouncy ball (optional), tennis ball.  If you drop the tennis ball by itself, it will only bounce back less than half as high as the height from which it was dropped due to energy losses from gravity, air resistance, heat, etc.  But if you put a bouncy ball or both a bouncy ball and a basketball ball underneath it, the combined potential energy is much greater. Then if all three land at the same time together (a smidge of glue helps keep them together), then the tennis ball will bounce up 40-80 times higher than the original drop height as the potential energy from the other two balls is transferred to the ball on top.  Similarly, if we go through life on our own, without relying on anyone or on God, our free falls (hardships) will never bounce us back to where we started.  But if we cling to Jesus (the basketball) who goes with us, catching us when we fall, His power will loft us up higher than we ever were before. That's the process of sanctification.  A similar effect can be experienced on trampolines if one person sets the trampoline by lifting off right before another person lands.  The preset will cause the second jumper to jump higher than he would go jumping alone. I bounced all over the place presetting the trampoline for my students.  If only getting students to soar high in life could be that easy!

As I was driving a van full of boys (and one quiet girl) to the field trip, I discovered that if you want to know which girl each 3rd grade boy likes at school, what each kid (or his family) thinks about current events & politics and how much 9-year-olds can comprehend about tax reform, the economy, gun control, and foreign policy, all you have to do is volunteer to drive for a field trip. It was like I was never there. I expected them to talk about Poke'mon or Legos, but wow, they are articulate and insightful about the world.

I also discovered while there that teachers develop super human hovering powers by the last month of school. It is a handy superpower to have because supervising energetic kids on a field trip the week before summer break leaves no time for a teacher's feet to touch the ground. ‪#‎STEM‬

Last Week of Middle School
The middle school year ended a day before grammar school finished for the year, so I'll start with our daughter.  I could not be more proud of her.  She took on a lot of extra responsibilities this year at home.  She cooked breakfast and packed her lunch every single day of school.  During over half of the year, she was involved in both school sports and the school's competitive middle school drama team, so she arrived at school before 7am several days a week and stayed after school for several hours after school every day of the week for sports practice, games, or to wait on me to finish teaching/tutoring/working.  She had more chores than most (or all) of her peers, spent the year reaching out to new students or less popular students to make sure every student had a friend, completed the final year of our mother/daughter coming of age Bible study, served in special needs ministry at church, sought the Lord through personal quiet times and Bible study, learned how to win and lose with integrity, faced giants on the basketball court (girls over 16" taller than she is at AAU basketball tournaments) without fear while busting limbs and joints in the process, loved her family and her friends well, and received top grades at school.  She was one of only a few students who made straight A's all year long, and she received the second highest score in the entire school on the national Latin exam, Level 2.  She only missed two questions, with the one student who scored higher missing one question.  Her Latin teacher this year does not believe in standardized testing and did not prep the students for the exam at all. They mainly just read books in Latin and learned Latin history. So, I we all expected her to bomb the exam.  That score was a huge surprise.


I can remember lamenting on this blog over how challenging she is to parent because she is strong-willed, high-energy, and independent like her mom but extraordinarily creative and right-brained unlike me.  But now, I am reaping so many benefits of those characteristics that once seemed difficult.  Now they are such a blessing.  This summer she has started cooking dinner, which is a good thing given how slack I had become with meals.  I think what I love best about this transition phase she is in is our talks.  She can now understand why I make the decisions I do for her and empathizes with the complexity and sheer exhaustion of parenting in this deceptive, digital, immoral, and entitlement minded culture.  She has spiritual wisdom and insight that challenges me, and she is becoming a very good friend. What a gift she is, and we love her with all our heart!

She hasn't done any gymnastics in over a year, but when I let her skip school (her retiring teacher skipped too and the subs did not care) to attend her brother's pool party, I could still see hints of gymnast lingering in her as she flipped off the diving board.

This afternoon, my girl played hooky.
Soon she'll no longer be a rookie.

Sixth grade ends in two more days.
Then on to the next adolescent phase.

Her teacher also decided to skip,
So into the pool our daughter did flip.

She flew like a bird with such finesse.
Soon I'll get to sleep in and get some rest.

I loved the lake and golf course view from this pool where both of our kids' end-of-year parties were held. I'm thankful that the homeowner's share their facilities with us.

At her 6th grade class pool party (same beautiful venue overlooking the lake in a gorgeous golf course community), she reminded me of myself at her age, preferring to hang out with the guys so as to avoid all the girl drama and playing games against the guys to increase her competitiveness and athleticism.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
No sunbathing at the pool for her or me.
We're not prissy or flashy, but we like to move.
We compete against guys, so our game will improve.

Grandparents' Day
Our son's 3rd grade class enjoyed lots of fun activities during the last quarter.  My parents came up for Grandparents' Day and took him out to eat lunch. He even let his sister join them for lunch.  I attended his recorder concert without them since it took place before my parents could get there through rush hour traffic, but the kids got to enjoy Nana and Pops over lunch all by themselves, for I was not invited. 

Bird Watching
The 3rd graders went on a field trip to a bird sanctuary to do some bird watching, but they never saw any birds.  Crazy! 

At least our boy gets to watch plenty of birds at home on the smallest parcel of land we've ever owned.  Orwell is a great bird watching guide who is always staring them down from the porch window.  The most annoying loud bird around here built a nest in the gigantic holly we just planted next to my fitness room window, so I get to watch the birds, too.

Orwell, Expert Bird Watcher

Eager, Early Entrepreneurs
Well, I found out why my offer to pay the kids extra cash for each extra chore they complete outside of their weekly chores isn't motivating my boy to do any extra work at home. Apparently, our 3rd grader is earning far more money by transcribing, editing, and helping sell comic books his classmates have been designing and writing. One kid, the son of an extremely successful dental/orthodontic practice owner in our area with offices spanning several counties, started the first comic book business, and then another student founded his own comic book company, adding some competition to the market.

My son even resigned with his former employer to take a higher paying job offered by the competitor until the competitor realized his wages were too high. Then my son had to accept mandatory pay cuts across the company which were necessary to keep the business afloat and barely profitable. (My son now has a better understanding of the minimum wage debate). The kids ran this business enterprise  all year at school during their free time, and I did not learn about it until May. I'm not sure when the teachers realized what the kids were doing, but now these comic books are available in the class library. Kudos to these boys' parents for raising entrepreneurs who are giving their classmates hands-on business management learning opportunities. They are discovering so many key strategies and factors to consider when starting and operating a successful business. They are also learning about economics and capitalism without opening a textbook. To my knowledge, this enterprise has been entirely student initiated, organized, and operated. As strict and structured as our school is, I'm surprised they even allowed it, but I love it and see it as the best kind of learning.  That's why we agreed to let our kids blow all their allowance savings on a candy store business they set up in the neighborhood.  They submitted business plans and went through each of the process steps, but they failed to consider losses on products that would not sell and ended up eating their excess inventory at a loss. They learned a number of lessons through that business, although I feared the neighbors might hate me for tempting their kids to blow money on candy that rots their teeth, but my kids knew healthy snacks that could be found at home would not sell. (Supply & Demand) 


Field Day
We returned from our trip to Oklahoma really late on Monday the last week of school.  By the time we got home and I had unpacked, it was 5am, so I too tired to help with field day at 8am. Given how little sleep our son had gotten that night (more like morning) after all that travel and how tired he must be after a whirlwind weekend in OK and given how tough the competition was last year, I wasn't expecting our son to bring home ANY ribbons for field day. He surprised me by bringing home four!

• 1st place frisbee throw
• 1st place team overall
• 2nd place sack race
• 2nd place broad jump

 

I recovered enough by lunch time to take the kids to 3rd grade pool party after field day, however. I was too busy gabbing with other moms at the 3rd grade end-of-school-year pool party to get any pictures of him swimming in the pool. All I got were these pics of him playing ping pong and splashing in the kiddie pool during the lifeguard break.  Sorry, honey, but at least I captured pics of you dumping water on that cute little girl's head. ;-)

 

 

Our boy had all A's, mostly 99's and 100s the first two quarters, but after missing so much school during our trip to Israel, he lost his motivation and got 3 B's (a 94 is a B in the grammar schools), disqualifying him from any of the honor rolls.  He just doesn't care about grades like his sister does, although he will work for prizes.  At the IMACS math enrichment course, he is in a classroom of very gifted kids, and he ranks near the top of the class. They know how to motivate him with prizes, hands on learning, fun games, and no boring busy work. Despite our kids' differences in temperament and motivation toward academics, they have consistently scored the exact same overall battery percentile on the Stanford Achievement Test (the only standardized test our kids take each year, whether home-schooled or private schooled) year after year, and their scores on individual subjects are almost identical except their math/reading scores are reversed with our boy always scoring 100% on every math section and our daughter acing the literary portions. I don't care much for testing of any kind, or don't have much faith in them, but the similarities between their scores still amuse me.   When it comes to grades, we encourage our kids to give their very best for the glory of God (emphasis here for our boy), but not for the glory of self (emphasis here for our competitive girl).   Grades may or may not reflect that, but we see their effort and God knows their hearts/motives.

Socially, I think it was the best year yet for our boy.  He is overcoming his shyness, which was the primary goal motivating my husband to enroll him in school instead of being homeschooled.  At first he did not like to get up on stage at all and was reluctant to speak in front of groups of people.  This year, he was so thrilled to get the longest speaking part in the parent assembly (and all his lines were in Latin) that he insisted we all come watch him.  That's a big change.  The kids who have been there since kindergarten are now treating him like part of the gang, and he has a very close friend who lives nearby he sees all the time. Thankfully, these kids still get lots of recess, so he's getting tougher on the basketball court and plays hard with all his new friends....at least when the girls aren't chasing him too much.