Keeping Youth Athletics in Perspective

It's very tempting in our society, which has made youth sports out to be some sort of religious cult requiring the most extreme devotion,  to lose sight of the true value of sports activities for our kids. Hopefully we did not get them involved so we could live vicariously through them or with the expectation that they will always win and go pro. It's common to get so caught up in winning, gaining elite skills, and pursuing athletic scholarships (which become a huge burden and a full-time job for the student, often taking priority over studying or attending classes), that we forget that the greatest benefit and reason for putting our kids in sports is for their personal character development.  Sports may shape our kids' lives, but they must not consume their lives. 

Sports activities teach kids to work as a team, putting the interests of the whole above one's own interests. They teach patience, dedication, discipline, and perseverance. They teach respect for authority, respect for one's peers, and respect for the limits of one's own physical body. Sports give young people practice overcoming adversities and expose them to important realities about life such as: life isn't fair; things don't always go your way; you are not the best, and you are not the worst, so stop comparing and just be all that God created you to be!

A few weeks ago, my daughter and a few other 8th graders ran a relay together at their first ever high-school polar bear track meet. It was a new experience, and it was cold! It was humbling running against the older, more experienced high school girls (3 out of 4 girls on her relay team had never run track before at all, and our daughter had only run middle school track one short season). It was a great chance for them to develop courage.

Our daughter ran the anchor leg, and by the time she got the baton for the last lap, at least one high school team had finished, which is not surprising given her team's age and experience. Based on the video her coach sent me, she was at least 200-300 meters behind the next-to-last runner. In real life, when most people see no chance of winning or when they see the large gap between where they are now and where they want to be, they give up. Our girl had already run 3 events, and she certainly couldn't win this one, so why strive to eek out more effort when she was already spent simply to lose anyway? That's a typical response for the "entitled" generations. But youth sports instill a different attitude. They teach kids that giving their very best effort is what matters. Sports inspire the determination to never give up. So my girl took that baton, prayed, and gave it her best effort. And you know what? She didn't finish 200-300 meters behind the next to last runner. In fact, she passed the high schooler who probably never expected our team to come close.

 

You just never know what might happen if you simply give your best, not for the purpose of bringing yourself glory, but only for the glory of God. Those are the types of life lessons that we want our children to gain through their sports activities, and I'm thankful for every single one.

My Girl is Growing Up while I'm Gaining Some Perspective

Her rough delivery left us both black and blue.
We weren't sure she would make it; her APGAR was 2.

13 years ago, she would not eat, making me so uptight.
Now she eats most everything in sight.

11 years ago, bath time could be a battle.
Now her showers take so long the pipes rattle.

10 years ago, she was all about princesses and pink.
Now she collects sports gear and cleats that stink.

8 years ago, she loved reading to her Build-a-Bears
Now she writes fiction and cooks meals she shares.
 
6 years ago, American Girl Dolls were her favorite toy.
Now special needs ministry brings her such great joy.

3 years ago, gymnastics consumed her time.
Now she flips for Christ; in whom her thoughts sublime.

Last year, she matured, both inside and out,
Now she leads with more faith and less doubt.

Strong-willed, compassionate, brave, and bold
What words will describe her as her years unfold?

#GrowingUp #FirstBorn

Words You Can't Take Back

I am vehemently OPPOSED to giving kids (or teens for that matter) smart phones. As long as they  live in my house, I get to choose if they have smart phones, and even if they they pay for the phones and the monthly service, they are presently not allowed!  When we do let them have smart phones, they will pay for the monthly fee and we will be the administrators, with sole permission to set passwords,  install monitoring and blocking software, freedom to inspect every app, email, browser history, and the right to take them away at any time for disciplinary purposes.

I could write a lengthy thesis citing reams of research explaining why I feel so strongly about this issue, covering everything from mental, spiritual and physical safety concerns to lifelong damage done to brain development.  Cyber bullying, low self-esteem, increased suicide rates, pornography, child predators, identity thieves, sexting, severely hindered development of social and communication skills, lack of tenacity or patience, and inability to develop meaningful relationships or to filter one's words all negative outcomes being realized in detrimental ways as Millennials who grew up with smart phones in hand are entering the workforce.

Some links to consider:

• It’s ‘digital heroin’: How screens turn kids into psychotic junkies
• No electronics because I love you and want to spend time with you 
• Teen 'like' and FOMO anxiety  
• Dad Horrified to Find Vile Messages in Popular Game on Son's iPad 
• 8 Scary Social Network Sites Every Parent Should know About
• 7 Dangerous Apps that Parents Need to Know
• Glow Kids: How Screen Addiction Is Hijacking Our Kids — and How to Break the Trance
• 8 Reasons Our Tweens are Without Cell Phones
• An Open Letter to My Boys Regarding Technology (and their use of it)
• No Cell Phones for our Tweens 
• Potential Physical Health Concerns
• Chances are, your teen has sexted

Before I had completed my research on the matter, however, our daughter had saved up enough of her own money to buy an iTouch.  It's not a phone, and we have very strict monitoring and blocking software on it, so at this point, she can only text friends, receive a limited number of emails, and go to websites we authorize,  none of which can have buttons or links to social media sites. We also have our home internet secured with blocking technology to limit whatever friends and family can access when connected to our home internet.

Despite all those safeguards, we still monitor her texts. She must put her iTouch on the charger in my husband's office every night, knowing we could read all her texts.  The parents of her texting friends also monitor their group chats, and we keep each other informed of any texts that seem insulting or convey anything other than a kind and gracious tone.  The girls are learning that words on a screen do not convey body language or voice inflections, so it's very easy to misinterpret someone's words based on how one girl might be feeling about herself that day.

When we see conversation going south, we take advantage of those teachable moments.  One mom misinterpreted something my daughter had said as hurtful.  Upon further investigation, it seems like more of a misinterpretation than hurtful comment with any intention of being unkind. Even so, kids need to understand that when they joke around with each other with nicknames and such, they must do so while edifying each other, for no joke is funny or permissible if it hurts someone else.

To illustrate the power of words sent via any web based  platform, whether email, text, or social media, I bought a brand new tube of toothpaste and told my daughter to squeeze out all the toothpaste, which represents our words.  Then I told her that we accidentally said something we regret, so we want to put that portion of the toothpaste back in the tube. But there is no way to take back words that go out into the web.  Copies are saved by servers and users at any number of levels.  Even the federal government, Obama's shadow government, Google, Amazon, every social media platform, smart TVs and household appliances, and any "smart" device with web access are savings and/or tracking whatever we say or do.  Be careful.  Think before you speak.