This new school offers a modified classical approach to education and much of the same curriculum I have using at home. The school's homeschool style learning environment appeals to me. However, I do not like the idea of having someone else shepherd the hearts of my children in my place for 6.5 hours per day for four days (Friday classes are optional at this school) each week instead of me. Plus, I rather enjoy being able to sleep in each morning instead of having to wake up early to get the kids to school on time. Yet, thoughts of this school kept lingering in my mind.
I know God appointed the man as the leader of the home for a reason, so I earnestly sought my husband's unemotional, level-headed input. After much prayer, he made a decision that took me completely by surprise. His decision was to send our daughter to the new private Christian school while I educate our son at home. My husband is a huge supporter of homeschooling and has seemed quite pleased with the progress our daughter has been making in her studies. While the academics have gone well, the stress in our home has been increasing. One of the primary benefits of homeschooling that many families mention is the relationship building that takes place between parent and child and between siblings. Recently, however, I have sensed growing tension between my daughter and myself. We are at a point where she needs me to simply be her mom and not her school assignment giver. She is an incredibly social girl who thrives when around other like-minded people. So, we are sending her to this private Christian school this year as a trial.
Once that decision had been made, we really wrestled with what to do about our homeschool co-op where I had committed to serve for the upcoming year. I do not want our children to miss out on the last cycle in the 3-cycle foundations curriculum. We do not want to lose the wonderful friendships we have established within this group, especially if we end up homeschooling both children next year. So, we have decided that I will present the cycle 3 material as a supplement at home and both kids will participate in one of the homeschool enrichment tracks at our co-op while I teach PE, but we will not do both morning and afternoon sessions as initially planned.
So, we have not given up on homeschooling entirely. I will still homeschool our son and supplement our daughter's education on Fridays. My prayer is that this private school trial will be a positive experience for all of us while giving us more clarity regarding future schooling and housing decisions.
Lessons Learned
There were days last year when I told my husband, "I quit. I cannot educate this child another day." Yet, when he told me we would be sending her to private school next year, I broke down and cried. I realized at that moment how much I did enjoy teaching her at home and having that extra time with her each day. I thought of all the wonderful memories we had shared together and of my greatly increased passion for learning about all subjects. I thought about how lonely her brother and I would be without her. It wasn't until the opportunity to homeschool her was taken from me that I realized how much I had taken the privilege of homeschooling for granted.
I have always been a bit high strung, but some of that has changed since getting married and having children. My laid back man and my curious children have shown me the importance of treasuring each moment and cherishing God's creation. However, when it came to homeschooling a child who thinks and learns in a style so different from my own, I reverted to high stress mode. Since my daughter processes information very differently than I do, schooling her became more difficult for me.
"Stress says that the things that we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control." (Francis Chan, Crazy Love, pg. 42)
Stress can destroy our most precious relationships. After the shock of my husband's decision wore off and I had worked through feeling like a complete failure, I began to experience the joy that comes from being set free from the bondage of stress. My relationship with my daughter improved dramatically, almost overnight, after the burden that I had placed on myself regarding her schooling had been lifted. To homeschool effectively, parents must maintain proper perspective. Relationships are ALWAYS far more important that academics. Successful homeschooling parents know how to RELAX and do so often!
Chan's definition of "stress" acknowledges the control issues that accompany stress. I freaked out about sending our daughter to school because I did not want to give up control over her curriculum, her schedule, and her influences. Then I read this blog post by one of my favorite bloggers which describes the tendency to confuse possession and love. This post uses the movie, The Fox and the Child, as a parenting analogy. When we exert too much control over our children, we are like the girl in this movie who tried to make the fox her own possession. She thought she was acting out of love for the fox when she was actually robbing the fox of its freedom in her attempts to make the fox her own. When she locked the fox in her room with her, he jumped through the glass window in her room in pursuit of freedom and nearly took his own life in the process.
As parents, we must be careful not to exert so much control over our children that they lose their age appropriate freedoms. When parents exert too much control, children will rebel. While control may not be an issue for most homeschooling families, when stress is allowed to take root in the heart instead of the peace of God, then control becomes a problem. If the process of sending our daughter to a small, private, classical, Christian school that provides a safe, loving, nurturing environment is difficult for me, then I clearly need this private school experience to help me begin loosening my grip.
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| Now, what will I do with all these books I planned to use this year? |
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