"Mayday..Mayday!" - Manic Days of May

I thought we were super busy when we closed on our new home, moved into a new house, cleaned out the apartment, unloaded 3 storage units, performed in 3 out of 4 showings of our church's spectacular Christmas musical, packed suitcases and boarded a plane for a week in Oklahoma all during the weekend before Christmas. But most of the month of May felt like a series of weekends like that moving weekend. All the activities were fun and exciting and great causes for celebration, but...SERENITY now, please.

I know we do our kids a disservice when we get too busy, for we are teaching them that life and happiness are about hyperactivity, when true joy and peace are found in the quiet places with God and with each other. A life well lived requires taking time to know God and cherish each other.  The moments of stillness hold more value than all the activities and opportunities we want our kids to have.  Finding that balance is such a challenge for me.  When the balance gets the least bit off, everything falls apart in my parenting.  Holy Father, please show me when to say "yes" and when to say "no".   Help me be still and quiet enough to hear Your voice without growing lethargic or apathetic to opportunities for pouring myself out as a living sacrifice unto you. Make me a sponge that is always absorbing your love, grace, and truth while simultaneously squeezing it out for the edification of others.
 

"When the world strives — the wise still. It’s the only way to feel God’s embrace.....There’s no need to keep up with the Joneses when you are keeping company with Jesus." - Ann Voskamp

Most of my recent posts have been highlighting all the fun and busy activities we've been up to this past month.  For this post, I want to remind myself of the less dramatic, quieter moments this past month which have sustained us between all the big events.  Here are a few glimpses of those moments:

• Helping some very dear friends, who sold their last home and moved into an apartment the same weeks we experienced those same events last year, move into a new home after much searching and waiting was therapeutic (despite the small amount of physical labor involved). We know what it feels like to wait...and wait...and to lose deals...over and over....and to wait some more...wondering what God has in store and when we will ever feel settled...realizing all the while that this world is not our home so we should never really feel settled in this life.  It was refreshing to see them move in and start a series of new beginnings, for God is certainly in the business of making all things new. (Gift #601) Their large heavily wooded lot is so tranquil with lots of decks and porches in the back for soaking in all of God's glorious handiwork in nature.  Seeing God provide exactly what one needs most in His perfect timing encourages my faith and reminds me of His sovereignty.

• There is nothing quite like roasting marshmallows over an open fire at a Y Princess reunion to refresh the heart and to remember that the greatest joys are in the simple things of life.  I love watching my girl delight more in relationships, nature, and simplicity than in material possessions. (Gift #602)

• I usually let cosmetic and hair care go by the waste side when life gets too busy, but I did squeeze in a hair cut this past month, and I am amazed by how much that simple pampering (oh, if only someone else could wash my hair for me every week!) and short time of stillness soothes me.  It helps that my hairdresser is like minded in the faith (and in politics) and inspires me to set goals and pursue my dreams.  By her life example, she inspires others to thrive, not just survive.  (Gift #603)  I had a few bangs cut in for the first time, and the kids did not even recognize me when I picked them up from school that afternoon.  I'm guessing the fact that my hair was actually combed and blown straight threw them off more than the bangs, however. 

Hey kids! It's me, Mom!  Don't you recognize me?

• It seems that whenever the pace of life has gotten completely out of control and my soul is screaming, "Rest!", dear church friends host an event at their tranquil farm where my racing mind is stilled and my burned-out soul is filled. They shared their home, animals, fields, pond, trampoline, pavilion, freshly roasted BBQ pork, other outdoor amusements, and amazing hospitality with 130+ of us this afternoon & evening after hosting 160+ men and children all morning and early afternoon! They are always living out 1 Peter 4:8-10 for the glory of God, and I am so grateful!  (Gift #604)

My cell phone pics

Photo Collage by Farm Owners

⁸ Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.⁹ Be hospitable to one another without complaint.¹⁰ As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.  (1 Peter 4:8-10)

• Slowing down to do some fishing at Willow Hill Farm with an old bamboo fishing rod the kids received as favors at their cousin's fishing themed birthday party conjures up nostalgic feelings and an appreciation for the simple things.  And I just love to watch my boy catch fish. (Gift #605)  His smile gets me every time.

• A bean bag toss game with friends at the same farm has a similar effect.

• And fresh wildflowers on the table...well, it's all good medicine to me.  Thank you, Father, for placing those flowers in the hostesses' path, so Your colorful handiwork could brighten our day! (#606)

• Slowing down to read an inspirational book during the brief moments of quiet each morning has helped me regain an eternal perspective during the hectic days.  I especially appreciated the following reminder this month from Gloria Furman's book, Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full.  (Gift #607)

When the cries of your little children keep you up at night or wear on your nerves, be encouraged that those cries silence the enemy who hates God, life, and all He has made. (Psalm 8:2) Satan seeks to maim, kill, and destroy, but those helpless cries testify of God's continuing work and great power over him. God chose the weak to shame the strong. (1 Corinthians 1:27)

• For each of the past three moves, we've always planted two rose bushes, one for each of our children. And each time, our firstborn's rose bush has bloomed first. Our daughter's rose bush  bloomed during the last week of May.  The first bloom was small, but we just planted the bush a few weeks ago, so I'll take it.  (Gift #608)

• I did some shopping for my girl recently (I guess I'm becoming her personal assistant just as my mother is still my personal shopping assistant). She left me her wallet (aka i-gadget case) with a note instructing me to go buy another BFF necklace for a new friend (though it seemed to me like a betrayal to be giving BFF necklaces to multiple gal pals).  She even offered to let me spend whatever is left on her gift card on myself, and so I did! But what really caught my eye is that she had inserted a photo of her father doing what he loves, singing with our church praise team, inside the clear plastic piece intended for her i-Touch. I love the fact that she is so proud of her father (Gift #609) and that he consistently lives in such a way as to merit such pride.  (Gift #610)

• While sometimes I miss the wooded landscapes and the larger lots we owned previously when we lived along a fairway and outside of town, the views here along the greenway aren't bad either, and the convenience simply can't be beat. The long, arduous journey to our new home has taught me to look for God's handiwork and to be thankful wherever I am and in whatever circumstances He leads me. (Gift # 611)

I crave slower, less hectic days because they allow me to recharge, think more deeply, observe my children more carefully, and listen to what they say with more focused attention.   Some of the those amusing "gifts" I received during the slower moments the week after the kids' last day of school are recounted below:

• My kids are so thoughtful. Not only did they let me sleep in one morning, but the 7-year-old proudly announced that he even saved his dad and me some blueberries and milk for breakfast. Inside the fridge, I found 2 blueberries, one for each of us, and 2 drops of milk.   I chuckled that he left so little, but I rejoice that he thought of me before every last morsel was gone.  (Gift #612)

Philippians 2:4
do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others

• I observed a funny parenting paradox that week as well.  Isn't it funny how kids are too short to put clothes back into their closets or to put clean dishes into the cabinets, but when there is tasty snack hidden on the back of the top shelf of the pantry, eight feet off the ground, they always manage to find a way to retrieve it?
   
• During a quieter moment in May, I overheard the kids define one of their secret code words, so I'll let you in on the secret, too.  When they say "M&M", they are referring to a  "mushy moment" between their dad and me. They say they like chocolate M&M's but Mom and Dad's M&M's are grose. Well...I think our M&M's are one of the healthiest things we have in our home, for they are providing security and stability that the kids do not fully appreciate because they have never been without it. As one who writes a health column and teaches PE for fun, let me share my best best health tip for married couples: "Have more M&Ms!"   I am thankful that they have noticed the way their mom and dad care for one another, even if they tease us about it.  (Gift #613)  At Great Wolf Lodge they teased us again saying, "We're going to go on another quest with our wand.  You two sit here by the fire and hold hands for your M&M".

• During the calmer moments, I have enjoyed looking through the piles of school projects the kids brought home on the last day of school. (Gift #614)  While looking through a book my son made at school about the life of Jesus, my daughter told him that his picture of the Lord's Supper was inaccurate because the disciples did not sit in chairs. Instead, they would have reclined on the floor while eating at a low table. So, with cultural accuracy in mind, we all flipped through the rest of the book to the ascension of Christ only to find an escalator running from earth to Heaven, complete with an escalator control panel off to the right side.  I love the way he is already thinking like an engineer.  His drawings delight me.  

• Since I did not have to get up early to rush the kids to school, I slept in late a lot the week after school let out.  Catching up on sleep helped recharge my exercise regimen.  And I got the biggest chuckle while doing a strenuous HIIT plyo workout that week because whenever I would do a big jump, the smoke detector right outside our fitness room would chirp.  I assumed the batteries needed replacing (although our house is only 6 months old), but once my workout was complete, the chirping ceased.  Perhaps all the jumping shook the house and unsettled the smoke detector, but it sure was funny feeling like you were burning it up so hard in the fitness center that you set off of the smoke alarm.  The chirping certainly motivated me to workout harder.  It felt so good to feel well rested for a change...at least for that one week before all the summer activities began.  (Gift #615)

• The social media custom, Throwback Thursday, has been a gift for me as well since looking back reminds me of God's goodness.  (Gift #616)   When life isn't so hectic, I find time to post throwback pictures.  Here is one I posted in May after our daughter brought authentic Cherokee bean cornbread to school and gave a presentation about the Cherokee Nation for Nations Day at school.  She was supposed to present about her ethnic heritage, and the Cherokee sliver fascinates her most.

 

• Seeing the following throwback photo of my husband and his brother posted by his mom for Memorial Day in honor of her two veteran sons had me in stitches.  How I love old photos and men who serve their country so honorably. (Gift #617) And I guess the kids' assumptions were right! Their daddy is an undercover super hero, and apparently his secret hero work began at an early age.

Their mom says they wore out several pairs of tights and leotards as super heroes.

•  I walked into the house after running errands one Saturday morning to see fresh pancakes in the kitchen, new paint on a ceiling, and my husband on a ladder installing a ceiling fan while listening to opera (Carmina Burana) blasting through his surround sound speakers. I think I married a renaissance man, and I like it!  (Gift #618)

• The kids asked me to explain the many different ways we pay taxes. When I finished, the 7-year old asked me an extremely bizarre and unexpected question, "So do women who abort their babies pay a death tax on that child?"  I explained why the death tax would not apply, but his idea does remind me of the Affordable Care Act. You are free to refuse insurance (or in this case, you could choose to refuse life for your child) but if you refuse, you will be taxed to death.  Sadly, that idea could help eliminate much of our nation's insane debt load if actually used it to pay down the debt instead of being used to fund pork projects that are doomed to fail (like  Solyndra).  I wish my son did not know about such unpleasant topics at such a young age, but I'm glad the subject gripped his heart in a way that will make him more passionate to fight for life than in a way that we are seeing with Common Core curricula which seems to be trying to harden the heart and deaden the senses to such atrocities in subtle, sneaky ways.

• I've always been a strong supporter of letting natural consequences train your children instead of being a helicopter parent who swoops in and rescues the child from the natural results of his/her own wrong doings. When parenting speakers would laugh while describing how this works, however, I thought the chuckles to be a little heartless, but not anymore. When one or both of our kids has been  too lazy to put away the clean clothes that I diligently washed, dried, folded and/or hung for them using the soap, electricity and hot water their daddy works hard to provide, they just tossed the clean clothes into their dirty clothes hamper rendering them dirty again instead of putting them away properly in their closet and dresser. So, when a kid did not have a clean uniform to wear to school one day, the look on that pitiful face made me giggle. I'm thinking we won't be having that problem again and that I won't be the only one doing the laundry anymore!   What could have been a frustrating moment for me was viewed as a gift because I am able to see long term benefits WHEN I slow down and am intentional in my parenting.  (Gift #619)

• I've been trying to get the kids to think before they speak by practicing the TALK principle with them. That is, before you speak, ask yourself, is it True, Appropriate, Loving, and Kind?  After scoring 0 out of about 10 attempts to speak correctly, one kid said, "I give up. I'm not going to say anything at all." Viola! I may have a mute kid, but no one is bickering anymore.  That lasted for almost 20 minutes!  Now if only I could model that principle for them better than I do. So we all keep clinging to His grace.  I'm so thankful for his merciful grace.