Things I never thought I would hear myself say

Things I Never Thought I Would Hear Myself Say

(until we got a cat)

• "To be so destructive by day and neurotic by night, you sure are pretty and peaceful when you take an afternoon nap." 
  

• "Your rear end is too big to sit on that narrow ledge, and there is a 13' drop if you fall off....[thud!]....that had to hurt."

• "Stop eating the bunny's vegetables! They are bad for your health!"

 

• "Stop licking those greasy paper towels in the trash can.  How much bacon grease can one eat anyway?"

• "I'm not sure why people around here are so nice to you when science indicates that you would kill us all if you were just a little bit bigger."

 

• Please don't claw her eyes out in your sleep!

• "Why is it that the only time you want to be near me is when I turn on the shower?"

#FirstTimeCatOwner