Non-Conformist Agreement

After the previous post about our PK ceremony, I have been watching those same girls and their peers in the halls and at sporting events.  One girl, not in our group, rudely told a parent who has faithfully served as a room mom, loving on those kids and supporting the teachers, since her son started at the school, that she was no longer welcomed or needed in the classroom.  The "popular" girls at school keep their noses lifted high, their hair perfectly groomed, and their confidence oozing as less popular girls trail behind them like minions, desperate for the snooty, smart, athletic girls with pretty hair to throw them a banana.  Middle school is hard for girls, no matter the school....even a school filled with loving, stable Christian families.

So imagine my surprise when our daughter started wanting the same hairstyle and shoes as the popular girls at school (praise God for uniforms or clothes would have be the same too).  She wanted to be included in their circle, to be popular, and to be accepted, but a lesson in PK about choosing your friends wisely convicted her. We talked about the trap of being popular, the two-edged sword (pride and vulnerability) that comes with it, the emptiness and fleeting of worldly popularity, and worst of all - the failure to love God and others before ourselves.  My girl knows deep inside that true and lasting beauty comes from within and radiates outward in a way that blesses everyone, whereas physical beauty fades and is quickly corrupted by a selfish heart.  She has historically been the one girl who would reach out to the new kid and make her feel welcomed, no matter how different that kid may be.  I did not want to see her lose herself in all the middle school drama.

So, she decided she would be true to herself. To hold each other accountable, we drafted a "Non-Conformist" agreement and are committed to helping each other become non-conformists for Christ. We know we can't do all these things in our own strength, and we do not want to make vows we will probably break, but without a clear vision of who we want to be and should be, we are not likely to change at all.  Here is a copy of our current agreement which may be amended or modified as necessary.

We, [daughter's name]and [mother's name], are both resolved that we shall not be conformed to the pattern of this world (Romans 12:2) or to the passions of ignorance (1 Peter 1:14), but we will be transformed by the renewing of our minds to test and approve the will of God. We will not seek popularity or associations with the popular, elite, and/or famous with selfish motives. Instead, we will notice the ignored, extend friendship to the friendless, lift up those who feel lowly, and give to those who cannot give back. We will risk reputation to love those who most need to be loved.

1)      Instead of striving for status quo and trying to imitate all the fashions, fads, and whatever the culture thinks is cool, we will express our unique personalities and interests with confidence in God's perfect design for each of us, becoming trendsetters without being lured into "keeping up with the Joneses".

2)     Instead of throwing all of our energy and time into the high pressure pursuit of performance based praise, our first and primary investment will be in the pursuit of Christ. Instead of striving to draw attention to ourselves, we will seek to point others to Christ and make Him known, for all our worth is found in Him. 3)      Instead of storing up and flaunting earthly riches, we will be rich in God's love - putting God and others before earthly treasures and fleshly desires.  

               

4)    Instead of pursuing the vocation, lifestyle, and schedule the world calls us to, we will consider our God given talents, spiritual gifts, life experiences, skills, and passions, and then seek God’s direction on how to best utilize what He has equipped us with to serve God and man with love and joy.               
      

5)     Instead of saying only what people want to hear to make them like me, I will speak the truth they need to hear, even if it hurts at first, because I love them more than I desire to be liked. But, I must be careful to speak only when compelled by the Spirit and not by angry emotions.

#RaisingRebels