Sometimes Mom just needs a punching bag

Preface:
This post is NOT for the perfect mothers out there who always exude patience and fun-loving attitudes toward their children.  If you parent like Mrs. Cleaver and keep house like Martha Stewart, please navigate away from this blog post. 
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First, let me say thank you to Truthful Mommy for showing me that there is at least one other person who recognizes the challenges of mothering young children, acknowledges her own neediness, and pleads daily with the Lord for strength and patience so that He may be glorified through us somehow.

I feel tired, weary, and burned out.  We have one more week until spring break, and this upcoming week is the busiest one we've had in eons. When I look at the calendar and gasp, I try to remember Elisabeth Elliot's words, "Just do the next thing."  Yet, I suspect my calendar isn't really any busier than those of many moms out there.  The burn-out I feel may be more a result of internal spiritual warfare than of too many external commitments.

This parenting job is so different from all the others I have  known.  As a student, every step before me was clear with rewards all along the way.  If I made good grades in school, excelled in athletics, and showed leadership involvement through extracurricular activities and community service, I could attend the university of my choice with a full paid scholarship.  So I studied diligently throughout school.  I devoted myself to my church and community, and gave my very best effort in cross country and track.   As a result, I was rewarded with acceptance letters and scholarships from my top 3 school choices.  In college, if I made good grades and continued serving in all the ways I had before, then I could get any job I wanted. Once again, I followed the rules, graduated at the top of my class and received job offers from some of the world's top corporations.   In my career, I enjoyed the satisfaction of seeing projects completed.  Regular performance appraisals gave me feedback on my work and helped me improve on areas of weakness.  Raises and promotions were rewards for diligent efforts at work.  If I trained consistently and rigorously in my running, I received medals or ribbons while helping my team win as well.  Life was scripted for me.  If I did A and B, then I would receive C.  It seemed so simple.

Mothering isn't like that, however, not at ALL.  Despite a mother's most diligent efforts, tangible earthly rewards are rare. Instead of striving to complete a project and having the satisfaction of a job well done, projects either go uncompleted or need to be redone the next day.  Many of the same chores must be done every single day.  Teaching and training are on-going.  Almost every day a mom will serve as taxi-cab driver, teacher, nurse, counselor, cook, dishwasher, maid, handyman, and coach.

Keeping house with young children living in it is like being commissioned by God to build Him a great cathedral for His glory on the edge of the seashore only to have it washed away by the next incoming tide.  No matter how quickly you labor, the cathedral is never completed.  Every section or wall that does get finished only lasts until the next high tide.  The work is monotonous and seems to never end. 

About now the perfect parent would say something like, "Well...your problem is that you have not trained your children to do all your chores for you. Our children do have weekly chores.  Some they do automatically.  Others they fail to remember even after being nagged reminded innumerable times.  It seems ironic to me that my kids recently memorized the 1st 12 elements in the period table (name, number, symbol, AND mass) after hearing it recited to them only a few times, YET they cannot remember to clear their own dishes off the table after being reminded 6 times a day for the past few years!  There is only so much that can be and should be delegated to our young charges.

Instead of tangible rewards, mothers often receive incessant demands and complaints from their children.  They may also receive criticism from outsiders. Yes, mothers have the great privilege of  receiving hugs, smiles, and memorable quality moments with their adorable darlings, but sometimes, when a mom gets especially tired, it seems like a thankless job indeed.

There is no set script to follow with motherhood.  The Bible gives wonderful guidelines for raising children, but there is no guarantee that if parents follows all the guidance in Scripture then their children will turn out exactly as they had hoped.  Following Biblical precepts absolutely increases the likelihood that children will grow up to choose Christ as their Savior and to live according to wise, Biblical principals.  Christian precepts make parenting a whole lot easier, but each child is a unique individual with his or her own free will.  Despite a parent's best efforts, a child may make choices or display behaviors that displease the parents.

When parents become exhausted by all the physical labor of raising kids, frustrated by the monotonous daily grind, emotionally spent by the effort to nurture prickly, emotionally needy children, and run down by sheer lack of sleep, then Satan makes them his chief target.  Satan's strategy is to shoot God's people when they're tired and run-down.  He also attacks when they feel over-confident because at that point they are spiritually their weakest.  (Proverbs 16:19)

1 Peter 5:8
Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

So how can a parent resist Satan's attacks and learn to enjoy the ups and downs of parenting more fully?  

1 Peter 5:9-10 (NIV1984)

⁹ Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  ¹⁰ And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Please help me brainstorm by adding suggestions in the comments section.

• Gain perspective.  Consider the sufferings and trials Jesus and His apostles faced and that modern missionaries are facing today.  Our little trials here on earth are nothing compared to the eternal rewards we will receive from God when this present life is over.  Right now, God is more interested in refining us through the daily grind than in seeing the finished project.  We may be in a hurry to have the satisfaction of a job well done, but when the real task God has a given us in life is completed, our time on earth will also be completed.  Paul wrote in Acts 20: 23-24 when compelled by the Spirit to go to Jerusalem even after fellow believers begged him not to go where trouble awaits him, "I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace."

•  Die to self.  As we grow in Christ, we must decrease, and He must increase. (John 3:30)  We must stop seeking rewards for ourselves here one earth and recognize that true joy is only found when we give our lives away in service to others.  

Philippians 1:21
  For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

 Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

• See its value.  Recognize that the daily minutia has far more value than we may initially realize.  All these daily tasks are necessary for a child's development even if they must be repeated day after day.  Children will eventually appreciate the little things their parents did for them.  Our children will remember how we went about doing the monotonous tasks of serving them faithfully all day, every day.  This idea is explained more fully here.

• Treasure the moments.  The days are long, but the years are short.  There are hard days that seem to drag on forever, but in retrospect, the time that our children are at home with us goes by so quickly.  When I get frustrated, it helps me to look back at the kids' scrapbooks and reflect on all the wonderful moments we have shared together.  Just a brief glimpse at the past reminds me how precious this time with the children is and how much I'll miss it when it's gone.  Commit to savor each day instead of wishing it away.  Once the day is gone, we can't get it back.  Once a harsh word spoken in frustration is uttered, we can't take it back.  Each day is a gift from God.  Use it for His glory.

• Come to Him. To survive succeed at parenting without becoming completely unglued at times, we must regularly and frequently come to the Lord, knowing our need and seeking His strength, comfort, and wisdom. We must wear out our knees in prayer and let our calloused knees serve as our most prized parenting trophy.  Motherhood, more than anything else, has taught me how much more I need Jesus.  When I start the day without seeking Him and without putting on the armor of God, Satan locks his target on me.  But when I seek Christ first, I can resist the devil, and he will flee.

Matthew 11:27-29 (NASB)

²⁸ “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.

On a lighter note:

• Find a safe outlet for frustration.  Some prefer long walks or soaking in a hot bubble bath.  Running has long been my outlet for releasing frustration.  Since I'm STILL on running restriction, however, my husband just installed a new safe release mechanism for me.

 

This punching bag, which has gashes all over it, was a free gift to us from a neighbor (unfortunately, the parts to install it were over $50, so it isn't free anymore).  It makes me laugh, and I suspect it might be fun to watch the stuffing fly out of the gashes as I use to it workout physically and emotionally.  Do not stuff frustration and let it grow inside.  Find a helpful way to release it.

Ephesians 4:26 (NASB)

²⁶ BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

The end of this post should make you laugh

Since I've been blogging about my mini-me lately, I thought I would mention one more trait we both share in common.  We both have very active minds.  It seems that I am always processing information and formulating multiple ideas in my mind at the same time, and I find it very difficult to calm my mind.  This thinker mindset brings with it a host of problems.  When I started elementary school, I stuttered when attempting to communicate because my young mouth could not keep up with the thoughts in my head.   Thankfully, Mrs. Apple, my speech therapist, helped me overcome that issue.  When the mind is active, listening becomes quite difficult.  As a senior staff member at my previous place of employment liked to say, "You can't think and listen at the same time."   I have always had poor handwriting for the same reason I stuttered.  One simply cannot write neatly at rapid pace.

Running has been great therapy for my over active mind.  Except during times of structured training, my runs often communicated the nature of my thoughts.  When brain storming ideas in rapid succession or when releasing thoughts that frustrated me, my runs would be hard, swift sprints.  When musing over complex problems or formulating long-term plans, my runs would be leisurely and long.  Thankfully, my previous employers have been health and fitness advocates who allowed me to go running at lunch.  I remember several situations in which I came back from my mid-day run with a clear solution to whatever problem our work team was addressing.

However, when deep in thought during a run, I did not always pay much attention to where I was going and got lost on numerous occasions.  I have also failed to notice warning signs of pending injury.  My last decent "thinking" run occurred on October 9, 2010.  That run was both fast and long, and while I remember having powerful times of prayer and personal reflection during that run, I failed to use common sense and ended up with an injury that may never heal.

That running injury became painfully obvious during a training run a few days later, and I am still battling that injury today even after over a 100 visits to chiropractors, physical therapists, and orthopedic doctors. Writing has become my primary "thinking" outlet now, but I sure do miss running.  So, while being a "thinker" has its benefits, it also has its disadvantages.

When an out-of-state friend saw this photo of my daughter, she said that there is something about my little girl's lips and the way she holds her mouth that makes her seem like a thinker.

Indeed, she has a busy mind, and her imagination is especially active.  She doesn't stutter or run like I did, but she expresses her active mind through her high activity level and her extravagant imaginary play.  We've been told by several parents that she is a top choice for play dates when it comes to imaginary play.  She gets so consumed by the rapid thoughts within her imagination, however, that she fails to notice the trail of chaos she leaves behind.  Cleaning-up her room or the playroom (or any other part of the house) after she has been there for only a short while is an overwhelming undertaking for anyone, but it is pure misery for her.

Her writing also reflects her active mind.  When she is completing copy work or some other handwriting assignment for school, she writes beautifully.  When tested in spelling or grammar, she scores at grade levels much higher than her age would suggest.  When she is expressing her own ideas creatively, however, her handwriting, spelling, and grammar are all neglected as she races to get her thoughts onto paper fast enough.  I have tried to help her understand how important handwriting, spelling, and grammar are in order to properly express her ideas.  I once read aloud to her a paper she had written using the exact spelling and grammar she used instead of what she intended to illustrate this point, but she did not appreciate that approach at ALL.

Yesterday, after school, I could almost hear her gear shaft changing from neutral to fifth.  The walls began shaking and happy squeals echoed through the halls.  She and her brother like to play school, so when I came into the school room to check on them, she was pretending to tutor him in math.  When I returned later, I noticed that someone had written a list of assignments on the chalkboard for the pupil to complete.  Ironically, the list included a spelling assignment.   Either my mini-me wrote this list in haste, ignoring spelling rules again, or the kids have a pet donkey with bad breath which they have kept hidden from me.

While our daughter did correctly spell "assignments" for me later that evening, neither child understands why I fell to the floor in fits of laughter when I first saw the chalkboard.

A seminary wannabe talks about fruit, vegetables, and sibling rivalry

Subtitle:  A collection of recent quotes from the 5-year old for your amusement

• As soon as I finished grading my son's math test, his first question was, "What grade did my sister get on this test?" Sibling rivalry starts early.   

• I recently instructed the 5-year old to put the freshly laundered sheets back on his bed. Instead, he examined a set of resurrection eggs and began reviewing the Easter story. When I repeated my command, he answered, "God's holy word is way more important than putting on sheets."

• People often tell me that he talks and acts like someone much older than he really is.  He seems to agree.  He celebrated his 5th birthday a few months ago, yet only yesterday, he asked, "Do you remember way back then.....a REALLY long time ago...when I was only four..."

• During the prayer time at his weekly LAMBS Bible study, one of the teachers asked the kids to be praying for some missionaries she knows who were being persecuted for studying the Bible.  This situation touched him tremendously, so as soon as we returned home he asked me to pray with him for their personal safety.  He has prayed for them faithfully ever since.  After we prayed, he thanked me and gave me a big hug.  I told him that his hugs and his heart for the persecuted church made me feel so much better inside.  He replied, "Only God can make you better, Mom." When should I enroll that boy in seminary?

• Speaking of LAMBS.....I helped with the kids' program that same day and thoroughly loved watching the children sing praises to the Lord with great enthusiasm during music time.  I told my husband about it that evening, and our son offered to demonstrate some of the songs.  Here he is singing about the fruit of the Spirit. Just so you know, "The fruit of the Spirit is not a pineapple."

• Our son is a very picky eater. He'll usually choose only one or two vegetables that he likes each week. His vegetable of choice may change from week to week, but usually it's just one.   Two weeks ago, he preferred artisan lettuce.   I chopped it up into salads for the kids until the boy said, "We like to eat the heads of lettuce like apples."

• He has been asking for onions this past week. "Onions are yummy", he says.  He will not eat the most popular vegetables, yet he'll take onions straight.  That boy is so weird special.

Reuse, Renew, Repurpose

Our daughter was thrilled with her birthday party and all the nice gifts she received.  She keep saying, "I can't believe I'm actually 8 years old."  As the youngest in her class at school and on her basketball team, she seems more eager for birthdays than the average kid.

I don't think she was too surprised that she did not receive two items on her birthday wish list, however.  As much as I would like to buy a horse for myself her, I simply cannot justify the boarding fees ($550+/month) for such an investment that we would only have time to enjoy a few hours each month.  She did receive a nice American Girl doll sized horse from Nana and Pops and two stuffed horses that sleep beside her and her horse pillow-pet each night as she dreams of living on a horse farm.

Fun at the farm while the girl takes horseback riding lessons

I already knew we both shared a passion for horses, but when she named these stuffed horses, there was no longer any doubt that my genes run strong in her.

Introducing:

Chocolate, Brownie, and S'mores

 Those who know my unhealthy fondness for chocolate would say that she is indeed my mini-me!

Now, she gets to enjoy my old collection of horse figurines and the horse stable my dad made for me as a Christmas present when I was her age.

  

We did not pre-order an iPad3 (also on her list) for her either. So, she used some cardboard and duct tape to make her own version.

Introducing the S-Pad:

She later sold a smaller version of this S-pad to her brother for $5.

I discovered early in my parenting journey that the answer "no" is the mother of reinvention. Facebook screen shots, laptops, guitars, drums, walkie talkies, doll clothes, ping pong sets, cash registers, treadmills, and credit card readers are just a few of her reinventions.

At age 7, she used a game box, hollow golf ball, and cardboard to make a ping pong set.

At age 4, she wanted the Lilly's Kids McDonald's set pictured at top left.  She got creative with what she had instead.

Turning Eight is Great!

To celebrate her 8th birthday this year, our daughter requested a slumber party with a camping theme.  The hard part was narrowing down the invite list to just a few names from various phases of her life without inviting one person from a larger group where others in the group may be easily offended if not included.  Traditional parties can accommodate large numbers, but sleepovers must be kept small. The largest tent we could find was 10'x12' and only sleeps six people, so limiting the guest list was by far the most difficult part.  Sending cupcakes to her school at least helped her not feel like she had to invite every girl in each of her classes.

While waiting for all the guests to arrive, the girls perused through all of our daughter's scrapbooks.  Thankfully, her book for her eighth year arrived from the printer just in time for the party.  Then the party began with instruction in making balloon animals.  The girls made or received balloons shaped to look like dogs, giraffes, horses, and swords. 

Next the girls were seated at the dining room table where a red and white checked table cloth, fresh flowers, colorful pebbles, and camping lanterns were placed to make the girls feel like they were at a campsite.  Dinner included grilled burgers, grilled corn on the cob, onion rings, various types of chips, and selections from the two vegetable platters with ranch dip.   

Then the girls were commissioned on a nighttime nature hunt.  Solar lights were placed through the grass to guide the girls to the natural areas where the required nature items could be found.  Each guest also received (as favors) glow-in-the-dark face masks and shimmery pastel flashlights to assist them during their quest.  Whoever filled her paper sack with all the items on the list first received a prize. Large cash prizes were also offered for retrieval of a significant number of sweet gum balls that had blown into our yard from a neighbor's tree, but the birthday girl called a foul on Ranger Mom for manipulating the rules.  Our birthday girl was the first to collect all the items, but since she had an unfair home court advantage and a pile of gifts waiting for her in the living room,  the first place prize went to the 2nd place finisher.  Then Ranger Mom scrounged around the house for more "prizes" because she forgot that when girls play games, everyone must receive a prize lest temper tantrums ensue.  It almost got ugly there for a moment.

While the rangers cleaned up dinner plates and reset the "picnic table" for dessert, the birthday girl opened her gifts.  She was elated with everything.  Her friends know her well.  She has now added extensively to her horse and craft collection and has new supplies for all the stories she writes and for all the adventures she takes in her imagination.  She still loves anything American Girl, but this year, the #1 item on her wish list (besides a horse which is on my wish list as well) was a Twinn Doll.  She designed the doll herself, and then I submitted photos and a freckle placement chart for the doll's face to match our daughter's.  We are thankful to Grandma and Grandpa for contributing to this joint gift so that her wish could be granted without blowing the budget.  The Twinn doll company has cleverly designed their dolls to be larger than American Girl dolls so the clothes are not interchangeable.  Thankfully, one of her friends gave her an adorable school girl outfit (not pictured below but definitely her favorite) for her Twinn doll. They sell matching clothes for the doll's owner as well.

We usually get our kids' birthday cakes from a team of fabulous designers (and close friends) who use fondant and all manner of skill to make a cake that looks more like a fine piece of artwork than mere junk food.  This year, we decided our designer friends needed a break, so we went with something simpler but from the heart.  I used two round cake pans to bake a "Twinkie cake" (there is funny related Twinkie story that could be said here, but I'll refrain and just describe it as dark chocolate cake with vanilla cream in the middle) shaped like the number 8.  Then my husband, our resident cake decorator, iced and decorated the cake to make it look like a campground.  When the candles were lit, it looked like the campfire was blazing.  I copied this idea from the Truthful Mommy's blog.

Some of her Y Princess tribe's members kindly loaned us their handmade campfire which uses Christmas tree lights instead of dangerous flames.  That little campfire "sparked" fun conversation all evening.  While some may hold to the campfire tradition of telling scary stories around the fire before bedtime, I do not approve of such stories.  So, the girls instead played "build-a-story" with each girl adding a phrase to the story as it unfolded. They laughed themselves silly over those stories.

After story time, Ranger Mom announced, "Lights out campers!"  Based on the mess strewn about the next morning, however, those girls must have used their flashlights and lanterns to stay up playing much....MUCH later.

My amazing husband served the girls fresh pancakes, bagels, fruit, bacon, juice, and milk for breakfast.  Before leaving, each guest received the following S'mores favor with a note that reads, "Thanks for making my party s'more fun!"  I stole that idea from Truthful Mommy, too!

When the age of discovery turns morbid

I have posted frequently about the amusing conversations I have had with my son while driving.  As he gazes out the window, he makes many observations and asks interesting questions.  I love this season of wonder and discovery when children notice so many details that I would otherwise miss, such as the patterns of the clouds or the seemingly unending amount of time an old truck has been hoisted up on tire jacks.  (Read about these and other observations here.)

Today while driving out to a familiar horse farm, he noticed an old cemetery and asked about the tombstones.  He wanted to know why they were there and what they represent. I explained that they mark grave sites.  We talked about how when a person dies, his earthly body is often placed in a casket and buried.  A Christian's spirit leaves the body upon physical death and goes to be with Jesus while the physical body rots in the ground.  I reminded him that when Christ returns, those believers who have already died on earth will receive resurrection bodies.  He was relieved to learn that his resurrection body would not suffer from allergies as he does currently.  Then he asked me, rather matter-of-factly, without intending any irreverence, "When will you take me to a tombstone and show me the dead body underneath the ground?  I am interested in seeing what it looks like."

 

It seems ironic that yesterday I posted about something outlandish that my husband said that caught him off guard, and today, he totally blew my mind with his innocent yet morbid inquiry.   He now understands that the only place I will let him view a dead body is at a visitation when he is older and more mature.  Whew...parenting can be unnerving at times.

When we arrived at the horse farm, I gazed up into the trees while he grabbed my Nikon and documented more of his observations.

My view from under the tree

His view of the fence

His view through the fence of our daughter receiving a riding lesson

Then he returned the camera to me, with his lovely fingerprint smudges on the lens, and watched a horse take a shower.

Viewing the world through a child's eyes can be awkward at times, but it is rarely boring!

50 Years

One effective way to uncover the true priorities of a child's heart is to catch him off guard by saying something completely unexpected and ridiculous.

After church today, my husband and I both laid down for a few moments of rest.  Before 30 seconds had passed, our 5-year old began banging on our door shouting, "When are you going to come out?"

My beloved jokingly replied, "Oh...maybe in about 50 years."

Then our 5-year old shouted, "50 years?  Are you crazy?"

I waited for him to ask questions of practical concern such as:

• What do you have in there to eat that will last you 50 years?
• How will Daddy work and pay the bills?
• Who will take care of us?

Instead, he was more concerned about Christmas.  He shouted, "You're going to miss a lot of Christmases.  You are going to have a WHOLE lot of presents to open when you come out!"

Forget the practical needs, people, it's all about the presents in his mind.  We have more parenting work to do than I had realized.

Teaching Adults is Easier

Since "retiring" from my full-time job to stay home with the children, I have done various types of contract work part-time.  Some of my favorite assignments have involved instructing adults.  I wrote training materials for seven different energy management workshops and enjoyed teaching business owners how to reduce their electric bills. I have also delivered a number of leadership development, team building, and communication classes for manufacturing professionals.  The most challenging aspect of each of these assignment was that I was delivering information to an audience comprised of people older than myself.  It did not take long to find common ground, however, and simply showing proper respect to my senior clients for their vast experience and expertise removed that obstacle.

Teaching little ones, on the other hand, is much more challenging for me.  I like to deal pragmatically with issues, but children do not have fully developed reasoning capabilities.  With adults, there is the possibility that I will be asked a question for which my knowledge is too limited to answer.  With children, however, attempting to communicate logical answers to their whimsical questions can sometimes render me dizzy and exhausted.

Joey, circa 2007

Example
My 5-year old, who is referred to as "Joey" on this blog, recently initiated the following conversation with me:

Joey:  What would happen if I flew into outer space with a water gun and sprayed water on the sun?

Me:    The sun would continue shining.

Joey:  But doesn't water put out fire?  

Me:    How much bigger is the sun than the earth?  How much bigger is the earth than those water droplets?  Your water gun is no match for the sun!

Joey:  Well....what if I had a water gun that was bigger than the sun?

Me:    How would you fit a water gun that size in your little hands?

Joey:   What if I had a water gun as big as the sun with handles as small as my hands?

Me:   What would happen to the earth if you did indeed quench the sun?

Joey:  We would have no light or heat. But that's okay, because we could always set Jupiter on fire and let it be our sun.

Me:   But Jupiter is a planet, not a sun. 

Joey:  We'll turn it into a sun.

Me:   (Giving up that argument and trying a new approach)  If the earth was located closer to the sun, what would happen?

Joey:  We would burn up.

Me:   If the earth was farther from the sun, what would happen?

Joey:  We might freeze.

Me:  So God positioned earth at just the right distance from the sun to support life.  Are we the right distance from Jupiter should it become a sun? 

Joey:  I don't know.

Me:  Then let's just not tamper with God's design, okay?

Money, Military, Nests, Bones, Hawaii, Burgers, Evolution, Mythical Creatures, and Biblical Parenting

Blogging has been hit or miss lately, so my goal for this post is to provide a collection of random thoughts, snapshot moments, and perhaps a few simple quotes from the kids to help paint a picture of what life has been like for our family over the past month.

This photo of a ceiling summarizes our month quite well.  All you lovers of abstract art and deep thinkers might have fun psychoanalyzing this one.

Money Management
Despite our many lectures about saving and investing, money usually burns a hole in our 5-year old's pocket until he spends it all on Legos. When he received some cash in some Valentines this year, I asked him how he planned to use the money and was shocked to hear him reply, "I'm going to save it so I can buy a red convertible when I'm 16."  He has already selected the make and model and knows the tank capacity, max speed, and fuel economy.

Hair Clippings
After our 5-year old received a haircut in January, his sister insisted on sweeping up all the hair clippings.  Then she stored the clippings in a ziplock bag.  Many posts on this blog mention some of the unusual items we have found stored in her book bag, closet, dresser, or under her bed, so we wondered what new wacky right-brained idea she had for those clippings.  I suggested that maybe she thinks her brother will become really famous some day, so she is saving the clippings to eventually sell on Ebay for a high price.  I was wrong.

Not too long after the haircut, her science class, as part of their unit on birds, built bird nests.  While her classmates foraged outside for straw and various other nest building materials, our right-brained child pulled out her baggie of hair clippings for her nest.  She knew her brother's hair would make much softer nest lining for the baby birdies than sticks and pine straw.

Photo of nest building taken without permission from her teacher's FB page! :-)

Spinal Adjustments
Since my back and neck pains intensified this year, I began a new spinal re-engineering program to fully restore my spine for lasting pain relief and arthritis prevention without needing surgery.  This program requires 3-4 chiropractic visits each week (for up to a year) where I spend a lot of time getting poked and pulled while learning about wellness and disease prevention.  During these visits, my son likes to build things.  Knowing my interests quite well, he usually builds a set of dumbbells or one large barbell.  He aims to please!

Chicken Anatomy
As part of the healing process, I have been experimenting more with organic and/or whole foods while also exploring Paleo style menus per my husband's request.  I discovered that standard processed meats do more harm than good while all natural, organic meats have numerous health benefits.  I also learned about the healing properties of the bone marrow in organic chickens and decided to test out some whole chicken and bone broth recipes.

In 13 months, I will hit the big 4-0, yet I have rarely, if ever, eaten chicken off of a bone.  I do not even know how to eat a chicken drumstick or fried chicken wing.  I have lived my entire life on chicken tenders and grilled boneless, skinless chicken breasts.  So, when I purchased a whole organic chicken from Trader Joe's, my entire family laughed at the thought of me actually cooking it.   They must not know about the time I made deer jerky (I bartered ham for deer meat with some machine operators at the tire mold plant where I worked).  Maybe they don't remember when I cleaned (removed organs and scraped off the fur..well all except the stray hair that landed on my husband's plate) and roasted bear meat.

Roasted bear with whole grain Wehani rice & steamed vegetable medley

Cooking a whole chicken is not quite the same as cooking a turkey.  At least I did not have to cut off the head or scrape off the feathers.  The first step involves cutting out the spine. I enlisted my husband's help for that part.  After all that time at the chiropractor's office, I must admit that I was quite impressed with the health of that chicken's spine.

Our daughter was completely fascinated by the chicken.  With each serving of chicken during meal times, she completely cleaned each bone and then identified it.  I think she could have rebuilt the chicken skeleton had I let her.  She loved the taste of various chicken parts, too.  When she asked, "Mom, is there any yummy chicken skin left?", my husband remarked, "Well...it appears that we are raising up our very own little redneck."  I prefer to think that she was just expressing her love of learning and applying what she had learned during science this past year.



Politics
Our son has been expressing interest in the 2012 presidential campaign.  He is especially interested in what it must be like to live in the White House.  He recently stated, "Mom, I think Daddy should run for President so that I can go to the secret movie theater in the White House for my TV time and so that I can go to the White House bowling alley whenever I want."  Thankfully, his father is too smart to consider such a suggestion.

U.S. Navy
You can take a boy out of the navy, but you can't take the navy out of the boy.  My husband has not served active duty for the past 11 years, yet sometimes people can just tell that he was once a naval officer.  When he dressed up for the daddy-daughter dance, a friend noted that he looked "well...all Naval Academy still".

Recently, when I have called for him to come to dinner but could not find him in the house, he has been out on the deck studying the position of the stars and planets. At least now he uses a high powered telescope instead of a sextant.  FYI:  Jupiter and Venus have appeared exceptionally bright lately.

Book Club
My daughter and I are still enjoying our American Girl mother-daughter book club.  Last night, we attended an elaborate party/book club meeting for the book, Aloha Kanani.  The girls began by making lovely floral and bead leis.  Then they munched on some goldfish while reviewing Pacific island geography using the map that served as a table cloth.  Kanani's family operated a shaved ice and sweets shop, so the girls enjoyed freshly prepared snow cones.  The girls participated in a lively discussion about the book in which the girls were especially eager to respond to questions (see raised hands and expectant faces in the collage below).  Kanani faithfully wrote in her journal, so the participants wrote or drew pictures in floral journals while watching a video about the island of Kaua'i where Kanani lived.  While I gushed over the beautiful landscapes and dreamed of vacationing there in the near future sans kiddos, my daughter did the hula.

My son gets as excited about Mother-Daughter book club as my daughter does.  As soon as we depart for our book club meeting, my husband takes him out for a father/son outing which usually includes Chick-Fil-A.  We were supposed to leave for our book club meeting at 6:00 last night.  My son began counting down the hours early that afternoon.  At 5:20, he announced, "It is now 5:20, so they will be leaving in 40 minutes.  Do you know how I figured that out?  Brain power, that's how!"

My son was asleep when I returned home last night, but this morning, he rushed into my room to initiate the following conversation:

5-year old:  Mom, while you were at book club last night, Daddy and I had the best burger ever at Chick-Fil-A.

Me:  Wait...you had a burger at CFA? How can that be?

5-yr old:  It was a burger with chicken inside.

Me:  Oh, a chicken sandwich!

5-yr old:  No, it was a burger....a chicken burger!

Me:  Perhaps if CFA did not use hamburger buns with their chicken sandwiches, it would not be so confusing for you.

Evolution
Even though our daughter is in private school now, we still do some learning together at home, primarily through reading classic literature and reviewing memory work from our homeschool co-op curriculum.  She completed the first two cycles as a homeschooler, and I had hoped to at least introduce the third cycle to complete the Foundations course.  A small part of that curriculum introduces the theory of evolution.  When the kids heard the theory explained for the first time, before I had a chance to point out any of the numerous holes in the theory, both kids responded almost in unison, "But Mom, how can people possibly believe that something could be formed out of nothing?  Life cannot come out of non-life.  That sure is a silly idea."

Fantasy Fiction
With much reluctance, I recently read The Chronicles of Prydain with the children.  I was especially concerned about the violence and the elements of fantasy fiction which may be related to the occult, and I assumed the novels were too advanced for our kids' maturity levels. Yet, it came highly recommended, so we read it together so that I could skip over any inappropriate parts.

My son amused me with his commentary during the series.  When the small band of heroes were rushing to get to the bottom of a mountain so that they could delay the Cauldron-Born while their friends attempted to defeat Arawn, Death Lord of the Anuvin, the 5-year old said, "If they are in such a hurry, why don't they just lie down and roll down the mountain?"  I love my little problem solver.

I was amazed at the end of Book 5 to hear the kids pointing out multiple Biblical allusions just as they did when we studied the Chronicles of Narnia together. Certainly, our children are too young to make such connections, I reasoned.  Then I considered how Classical education emphasizes memorization,  repetition, and recitation during the early grades to implant memory pegs into the brain to which future learning will become affixed accelerating understanding and promoting long term memory recall. The kids have memorized Bible verses and have been taught Bible stories and precepts repeatedly throughout their short lives.  Their brains can more readily make connections to Bible references because those memory pegs are most firmly rooted their minds.

I recognize the tendency for modern parents to stress out entirely too much over choosing the best educational opportunities and extracurricular activities for their children and then pushing them to perform.  I know that parenting success is not defined by a child's G.P.A., athletic performance, or achievements in the fine arts, yet it isn't always easy to "be not conformed to the pattern of this world".

Successful parenting is simply introducing the child to Christ and then modeling for that child a life totally surrendered to Him.  Successful parents trust God in everything and rely totally upon Him, not themselves, in every situation.  They seek answers in the Bible and through times of prayer.  Nothing else matters compared to knowing Christ.  Only God can change a heart, and I'm so thankful that He has turned the hearts of our children to Him.  I'm also thankful for our church, Bible studies, AWANA, Upward, and our homeschool co-op, where the Biblical precepts we have tried to teach at home are reinforced and encouraged.  Hearing our kids make those Biblical connections served as a simple reminder to me that as long as our children know Christ and follow after Him, they will be just fine, so I must not stress about the stuff that does not matter!  Now I ask for His grace, mercy, and strength as my husband and I strive to raise them up in the ways of the Lord.

Basketball Awards and Eternal Rewards

Since my husband and I are both under average in height, we have short offspring.  So, for the past two years when I have registered our daughter for Upward basketball, I have asked myself, "Why am I signing her up for basketball when she is built more like a gymnast than a basketball player?"  As a parent with a fixed number of hours in each day, I know it is important to choose our kids' extracurricular activities wisely, according to their unique gifts and talents.

This year, our son turned five just in time to meet the minimum age requirement, so we signed him up for basketball, too.   If the schedule remained the same as last year, then our kids would be playing games at the same time on opposite sides of the gymnasium.  Since my husband already has special one-on-one time with our daughter through Y-Princesses, he signed up to help coach our son's team so they could have something special to do together.

When the season schedule was finally released, we discovered that the kids' practices and games would be at different times on different days.  So again I asked myself, "Why did we just commit to an extracurricular activity that consumes up to four nights a week when we our family schedule is already way over-booked?"  The sense of panic I felt at that moment was similar to other moments of dread I have experienced right before God was about to do something really big!  So we pressed on, confident that God was all over this Upward program, and we wanted to be in the middle of God's amazing work.

Our daughter could not have asked for better coaches or a more nurturing team.  She progressed tremendously in her basketball skills, learned more about teamwork, gained confidence, and made some new friends.

She refused to let her height disadvantage hold her back!

She also learned to line dance.

Our son's team finished the season with only one win out of eight games.  It was really hard for the coaches to watch these young boys and girls struggle so much.  Yet, they were the youngest team, and at that age, learning to pay attention, walk, and dribble without falling is about the most a coach can reasonably hope for the team to achieve.  Our son is not competitive like his sister, well except when he is competing against his sister, and did not seem to mind losing those games as long as there were yummy treats after the game.  He repeatedly said, "It's not about whether you win or lose, but it's all about learning about Jesus and having some fun."

Lil Flash

I'm still in awe at the way God has grown this Upward program.  The program is hosted by a small country church with very large vision.  A few years ago, the church built a massive, fully equipped recreational facility that dwarfs the original church building with the goal of reaching the community. Up to 90% of the participants in this program were not members of the host church.

Between 600-700 people attended the closing awards ceremony.  The church fed them all dinner with homemade desserts!  After each participant and coach received their awards and nice insulated lunch bags, an evangelical speaker/comedian/illusionist presented a very entertaining show.  He also included some powerful visuals to help explain spiritual truths such as when he used contortion techniques to wrestle out of a straight jacket, illustrating the bondage of sin.

The presenter delivered an "altar call" at the end and swarms of kids ran forward.  The church has the names of at least 85 participants who prayed to receive Christ for the first time.  Five of those kids were on our son's team that my husband helped coach.  He has been asked to serve as head coach next year.  How could he say no?

Thank you, merciful Lord, for showing how great You are to these precious young people.  Thank you for using the sold-out believers at this humble church to start this Upward program and for using basketball as your instrument to reach the lost. Please equip and guide those who will be providing follow-up, and please send wise, spiritual leaders to disciple these new believers.  May they grow in wisdom and faith, remaining faithful and steadfast, and serve as powerful witnesses to the lost members of their families and communities.

Colossians 1
⁹For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. ¹⁰And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, ¹¹being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully ¹²giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.