Our family booked flights to Oklahoma to visit paternal relatives for the first few weeks in July. However, my husband's grandmother passed away a week before our scheduled departure, so he changed his flight to depart a week earlier to attend the funeral. The plan was for me to stay home with the kids during the week of the funeral and then fly out with the kids to meet him in Tulsa using our existing plane tickets.
His grandmother who recently passed led an interesting life. She moved to Oklahoma in a covered wagon. At the age of 18, she married a man whose parents came to the region along the Cherokee Trail of Tears. Her husband became a well-known artist and wood sculptor.
Grandpa's pencil drawing of Grandma Sophie
Grandpa
They were married 44 years before her husband died. She birthed 11 children who produced 38 grandchildren. She had numerous great-grandchildren, great-great grandchildren, and even a few great-great-great grandchildren by the time she died at age 90.
She was an accomplished seamstress, quilter, and gardener.
(I'd like to thank my MIL for providing the following six photos.)
She sewed all the girls' dresses.
Quilting
She was also well loved for her extraordinary sense of humor.
Having fun with my husband and his three brothers
Her family was so large that they had to reserve over half the seats in her church for family during her funeral service. My husband got to see many of his numerous cousins at the funeral.
Grandchildren at the funeral
My husband's family less me, our two kids, three of his nieces and a nephew
My husband with his mom (Sophie's daughter) and his brothers
While the man of the house was away with family for the funeral, I tried to keep the kids busy to help keep them from missing their dad so much, and we Skyped with him often. We went to the pool every weekday, and both kids received daily swim lessons.
Relaxing after swim lessons
Pool diva and her stuffed friend, Mort
We invited friends over for lengthy play dates and visited friends for still more play dates.
We held babies and made them belly laugh.
We made crafts, decorated mini pancakes, and concocted the best BBQ chicken pizza recipe ever.
Happy face pancake
When we received a home showing in the middle of all my packing for our trip to OK, I threw everything into a corner, drove to a neighbor's house to pick up my boy's favorite buddy, and went to McDonald's where my boy gulped down his own McFlurry and then half of his friends' smoothie as well.
Sharing with a friend
We also purged the fridge in preparation for our travels which resulted in some very unusual looking but tasty cheeseburgers.
I tried to make the week fun, but I sure did miss my man. I prayed often that week for single moms and wives of military servicemen who are away for lengthy deployments. So many things came up that week that made me realize how much I rely upon my husband. I had previously accepted a late night assignment to serve on a panel one night that week with the assumption that my husband would watch the kids. I searched feverishly for a sitter and eventually found a new sitter whom I barely know. I didn't have small bills in my pocket and ended up using the money I had just earned to pay for the childcare.
Later during the week, I decided to treat myself to a sitter for two hours so I could pack and clean in peace. As she pulled into the driveway, she got a flat tire, so I never got that break and felt terribly for her mishap.
Major electrical systems broke while my husband was away which required me to pay crazy amounts for service technicians to tell me they were irreparable and required $1200 to replace. Other repair needs sent me to Lowe's Home Improvement in search of new gadgets and gizmos with hopes that I would not blow up the house in my efforts to make necessary home improvements. That was a hassle, but at least a nice man at Lowe's entertained my boy by pulling coins out of his ears and giving him other small coins.
I ruined a load of laundry when my daughter's red cover up bled in the wash. A major thunderstorm knocked out power and blew limbs and debris all over our yard. A record heat wave swept through the area burning out most of our once gorgeous grass and putting my flowers at risk. Then there was a termite issue in my favorite maple tree that added to my list of stresses. The kids were extremely hyper all week in anticipation of their big trip, so they were not on their best behavior and drove me nuts at times. The nights were long as issues kept occurring keeping me up until 4am some nights.
My back went out at the beginning of the week, so I had to see my chiropractor every day that week. My son had shoulder mobility problems requiring another office visit. On the last day before we left, I developed a toothache requiring an emergency visit to the dentist. All that driving (30 minutes each way) to doctor appointments did not help the healing process for my back nor did loading all those suitcases into the car for our journey to the airport.
Problems continued to mount, but thankfully, my parents met me at the airport saving me the hassle of loading and unloading luggage into a shuttle van and helping me get our bags checked. We eventually made it to the terminal and had two smooth flights to OK where the kids' father eagerly awaited us.
I met my husband over 20 years ago, and on June 9, 2012, we celebrated our 11-year wedding anniversary. Our 11-year anniversary celebration wasn't exactly as adventurous as our exotic cruise last year. This year's celebration was simple but very sweet. Mom and Dad graciously took the kids for the night, so we could enjoy a peaceful, QUIET house. A generous friend gave us a gift card to a fine restaurant downtown, so we had a very nice evening out on the town at no cost to us making the night even sweeter.
Thanks to the auto-timer feature on our camera and a makeshift tripod, we have a commemorative photo from that evening.
True Love
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine (Song of Songs 6:3a)
I always thought that those silly sparks a girl sees and those embarrassing goosebumps she feels when she first falls in love would fizzle after the wedding. I thought wrong. They get better with each passing year as shared love grows deeper and stronger. I am so thankful for this man.
3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy(Philippians 1: 3-4)
I cannot say enough good things about our kids' first golf camp experience. The PGA coaches did a phenomenal job, and the kids learned so much. Had the camp not put such a dent in our wallets, we would have sent them back for more weeks of camp. While I've never enjoyed golf myself, I think the kids could grow to truly love it. My dad and my husband's entire family would rather be on a golf course than most anywhere else, so our kids will fit right in if they continue to nurture their love of golf.
While the nature vs. nurture debate continues, they say that parents rarely get two children who are just alike. More often, siblings will be completely different in personality, interests, abilities, learning styles, love languages, etc.
As newborns, our kids looked just alike, but it wasn't long before everyone was saying that our daughter looks like me, and my son looks like his daddy.
Photo by Julie Holt Photography
Considering that my husband and I look nothing alike, the differences in our kids were first obvious in their external appearance, although I still think our kids look very much like siblings.
Photo by Julie Holt Photography
Recently, the differences between our children have become much more obvious to me. I have already mentioned the differences in their optimal learning environments in previous posts, although these may also be due to the difference in their ages. Our daughter thrives best in a group setting surrounded by other like minded students. Our son would rather learn in a simple quiet setting at home with me. His sister is very competitive in a group setting while our son is less competitive in groups but very driven to keep up with his sister.
Our daughter prefers words to numbers. Since most people loathe word problems in math, it took me a while to discover that word problems work best with her. If I can present a math problem in the form of a creative story, she becomes Sherlock Holmes trying to solve the mystery.
Our son is an excellent reader, but prefers numbers and diagrams to words. As a visual learner, he would rather read a technical manual with lots of figures, tables, and diagrams than a much more interesting chapter book. Every week I check out books from the library for each of our kids using the Classical model's 1000 great books list. No matter how many books we bring home, our daughter will devour them within the next few days. She will read any great work of fiction at any reading level in record time. When my son was on the "reader" level, he would also read the books and enjoy all the pictures. He would not read them as eagerly as his sister, but he would read them and recite all that he learned or found interesting. When he advanced to short chapter books with few pictures, however, he lost interest. The other day, we brought home some exciting, adventure packed short chapter books, but he shoved those books aside and chose instead to read the instruction manual for our iRobot Roomba. Then he eagerly explained to me the vacuum's various features and could not wait to test them out. He loves to take things apart and rebuild them or build something new.
If I had given him a tool box, he would have dissembled my Roomba and built something new. His sister, on the other hand, would have collected different supplies from her room and painted it pink, accessorized it with jewels, bows, and a boa, and then proceeded to teach it to dance. Different strokes for different folks.
Our son is our resident Mr. Fix-It who seems very likely to pursue a career in engineering. Our daughter is creative, imaginative, and possibly destined to become the next Walt Disney. She is certainly a trend setter. One day last week, she designed her own wallet using duct tape. She took her wallet to camp that evening, and by the next day, several of her friends had made wallets just like hers.
Duct tape wallet with pockets for cash, change, and credit cards.
Our daughter is also the silliest girl I've known. I can so see her working in theater or becoming an author of children's books or fiction novels some day. She comes up with so many funny ways to amuse herself. For example, one evening last week, she spent the day planning an elaborate wedding for her and her brother's early childhood lovie blankets. She scripted the wedding and assigned her father to serve as minister and soloist while I had to serve as photographer and pianist. Two of her stuffed animals served as best man and maid of honor.
Maid of Honor and Best Man
She even made a veil and gown for her lovie blanket and a long tailed tux for the groom.
Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Bubba Lovie:
Our son usually finds more left brained ways to amuse himself. For example, recently, while I was ironically consulting with someone about incorporating technical science and engineering training into the high school curriculum, my son was upstairs teaching himself some basic electrical engineering using his sister's circuit kit. He first designed a circuit that would act as an AM radio. Then he built another one that launched a propeller into the air. When his father suggested that he add a second battery pack to the circuit, our boy rolled in fits of laughter when the additional power sent his propeller all the way up to the ceiling. Here he is demonstrating his self initiated science experiment for me.
I'm discovering that our children also have very different love languages. Our son is all about physical affection and demands daily doses of cuddle time with me to maintain his equilibrium. Affection is a top love language for me as well, so I enjoy meeting this need for him. He loves to wake me up in the morning with big bear hugs. One day, he hugged me so long that I insisted that I must get up to start my day. Then that cute little love bug replied to me in a country western accent, "You're not going anywhere!" If you ever come to visit for the weekend, you can count on lots of early morning hugs from my cuddle bear.
Early morning hugs for our weekend guest
While our daughter enjoys hugs as much as anyone, the all time best way to communicate love to her is through quality time spent playing together. When you step into her imaginative world and play games with her until you are both giggling wildly or until she has beat your socks off in some board game, then you have topped off her love tank. This love language comes VERY hard for me. I like to play board games but struggle to find the large blocks of time her games require. I am really trying to be more purposeful about setting aside these chunks of time for her now that I realize how much it means to her. I like to laugh and be silly, but I do not know how to pretend. This imaginary world of hers is so foreign to me that I get the willies just thinking about it. I can remember playing similar games as a child myself, however. Growing up rooted it all out of me, I guess. Sometimes, we just have to step out of our comfort zone to meet the needs of our kids, so I'm writing this out as a reminder to step out and just pretend for a little while...for my daughter's sake.
After years of waiting for our house to sell, the Lord began showing us why we needed to stay here. Walking by faith means waiting on His leading even if He doesn't ever give us the "why" but sometimes, in His mercy, He does give us a glimpse into the why.
I believe with all my heart that several reasons He may have had us stay here are as follows:
1) To open doors for my husband's career that would not have opened had we moved earlier
2) So that my daughter could discover and experience a fabulous school unlike any other anywhere
3) So that we could get to know certain people out here who have become beloved friends to our family
4) To open doors for ministry
5) To continue the refining process, especially in the areas of contentment, patience, and faith
I'm sure there are others, but those are a few obvious ones I can see.
Financially, a move right now does not make much sense. Our loss on this home "investment" is into the six figures now, so we have much less equity to put into the next house. A comparable home in our target relocation area would cost us almost twice as much as this house. Private Christian schools in that area are also twice as expensive as our child's current school and do not appear to be nearly as good of a fit for our daughter as her current school. While my husband would save on some commuting expenses to work, I would more than offset those savings if we decide to continue sending our daughter to the same school requiring me to drive 3-4 hours each day. We would need to pay city taxes and higher HOA dues in the city. Yet, interest rates are at an all time low, and the housing market is experiencing a brief flurry of activity, so in that sense, it's a good time to move.
Finances aside, my husband has been commuting over two hours a day for almost five years, so he deserves a break on the commute, and we really would like to be closer to church and church friends. It's so hard to invite neighbors to church when your church is 25 minutes away. You simply cannot put a price tag on quality of life and God's direction.
When my husband first suggested that we list again, my morning Bible Study for that day was from Exodus 33.
Exodus 33:14-16 (NIV)
14 The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” 15 Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.16 How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”
More than anything, I just want to be in God's will. If He wants us to stay here and has plans to use us here for His glory, then let us stay. If he wants us to go, then let His presence go with us, and let His face shine on us. No matter where we live, may we be content and focused on His glory and committed to doing His will.
It seems like over the past few months, my eyes have been opened to all the benefits of living where we do. After detaching myself from his house when we first listed it for sale, I stopped enjoying it. Instead of begrudging this place, I have now finally begun to truly appreciate it. I sincerely regret my failure to be content here during those years of trying to sell the house. The things I like best about where we live now are very hard to find inside the city, so I am determined to appreciate them now while I still have them.
One of the benefits of living on a golf course is the easy access to golf. Our kids have begun to take quite an interest in golf, so should we stay, I can really see them developing their golfing skills out here.
While my husband was with them at the neighborhood driving range on Father's Day, the old traditional western song, "Home on the Range", popped into my head.
So, I couldn't resist my silly tendency of altering the lyrics to timeless country songs to tell my story. So, here is my tribute to our current abode to the tune of "Home on the Range" with pictures I have taken recently around our house.
HOME ON THE RANGE
Oh, give me a home where the PRO V1's roam,
I sell golf balls as a side business.
And the deer and the soft bunnies play.
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day.
How often at night when the heavens are bright
With the light from the glittering moon,
Have I stood there amazed, with praise as I gazed,
And God's glory did cause me to swoon.
Home, home on the range
Where the deer and a pair of ducks play,
Where sometimes is heard, "Fore!" or another golf word,
And the skies are not cloudy all day.
Where the trees turn so red, and the squirrels are well fed,
The landscape so spacious and green
That I would not exchange my home on the range
For any house in the city I've seen.
Home, home on the range
Where a doe on our swing set does play,
Can you find the doe in this photo?
Where often is heard the sweet songs of a bird
As she tends to her babies all day.
Oh, I love those wild flow'rs in this dear land of ours
The children, I love to hear squeal.
And I love taking walks with dear friends and our talks
After sharing a fine bovine meal.
Home, home on the range From God's path for us we dare not stray.
Where His peace reigns through life's sorrows or pains,
And girls can play limbo all day.
Our son's first year of official homeschooling went phenomenally well. He's such a joy to teach and seems to enjoy doing anything with his mama, even school work. I wanted to celebrate his hard work and spend some good quality time with just him while his sister was away at horse camp. So, on the Monday that kicked off summer break, we arrived at Monkey Joe's as soon as they opened for a play date with friends.
My plans for great bonding time with him for the rest of the week ended up changing when my husband decided out of the blue to relist our house for sale. I scheduled contractors to work at our house for the remainder of the week doing basic repairs, painting, and pressure washing. I forgot to mention to my son that these workers would be coming, so you can imagine his surprise when he woke up early the next morning to find two handymen pulling strips of hardiplank siding from the back of our house (an occassional repair necessity when one lives along a fairway). My poor boy thought the house was going to fall down. As soon as I assured him all was okay and going according to plan, he became much more interested in what the handymen were doing than in anything I suggested that we do together. Having sons and grandsons themselves and having learned their trade by watching their uncles or mentors, the handymen insisted that he come outside and watch. They explained every little task they performed and let him help whenever possible.
Gotta love a handyman in Buzz Lightyear PJ's & Fleece
I hardly had to inspect their work before they left because my little boy had already told me all they did and how they had let him help with testing to make sure their fixes worked.
I must have mentioned after the pressure washer left that I would need to repaint the white bench on the front porch since the water pressure chipped off some of the paint. Apparently, my son overheard me. While I was on the back deck having my quiet time the next morning, he sneaked into the garage, found a rusty can of paint, a paintbrush, and a screwdriver. He used the screwdriver to open the lid and began painting my bench. He even remembered to spread newspaper underneath the bench to catch paint drips. When I came around looking for him a few minutes later, I was quite surprised to find him hard at work preparing a surprise for me. Check out my freshly painted bench, compliments of my little handyman.
Our realtor told us that he would post our home listing on MLS on Wednesday. It takes a few days for photos and showing instructions to post, so we did not expect any showings until that weekend, at the earliest, when we would also be hosting a family of four. While my son was with the handymen on Wednesday, I got busy purging the master closet. As soon as I had pulled everything out of the closet, I was very surprised to receive a phone call requesting a showing within the following hour. My husband had not even completed all the realty paper work by that point. What in the world? After four years of trying to sell the house with little interest, I knew this showing would be a bust with contractors everywhere and parts of the house in the process of being replaced. So I stuffed all my belongings back into the closet and walked with my son to a neighbor's house where my boy enjoyed a fabulous impromptu play date with his best buddy. We had several more showings over the course of that week, so my son spent many hours with his neighborhood friend. That week may have been stressful for me, but it was total blast for him.
The biggest surprise for us was that the feedback for every showing that week said the buyers liked the house and were considering an offer. In all these years, we've only had one or two people interested in it, but to be 3 for 3 the first week was just crazy! This news should have made me very happy and excited after wanting so desperately to move for many years, but I had finally decided after years of hearing God say "no" to our plans to move that I would be content where we are. I did not really think we would get an offer this time, but I prepared the house for listing as I have done every year for the past few years because the house needed purging anyway, and I wanted to respect my husband's wishes. When the showing feedback suggested that we may actually have get to move this summer, I said, "Okay, God. Wherever you lead, I will follow." While I feel like I am spiritually ready to move, I was not emotionally prepared and almost flooded the house with tears that week.
Last year, when I first saw this muddy, stinky, place out in the boonies along a rugged, rocky path where the only facilities are Porta Johns, I promised myself that we would never ever send our dear daughter there again, and we certainly would not pay hundreds of dollars for her to attend a week long day camp there.
Then I looked into the eyes of my horse loving daughter, and I remembered my own passion for all creatures great and small when I was her age. She loves this place. She feels closer to God when she is in the midst of His creation. She takes great pleasure in every encounter with each God designed critter on that horse farm.
So, when the time to register for summer horse camp came up this year, we not only chose to send her again, but we made sure she got to go on the very first week of summer break to celebrate her great school year.
We sent a prehistoric camera with her to camp on the last day. With those photos, I bring you a photo essay entitled Horse Camp from the Eyes of an 8-Year Old.
Cami was her favorite horse, and those pink boots are my favorite items in her closet. Cupid was her favorite dog there.
She's still begging us to get her a pomperanian. (This photo was a gift from the camp's photographer.)
Our 5-year old's favorite day of the week is Sunday. He loves going to church and having a relaxed day with Dad home from work. Since my husband sings on the worship team and also serves as a deacon, however, some Sundays are especially busy. We often drive to church separately since he must get there so early. Our kids much prefer going to church together.
One Sunday in May, my husband had double duty. He left the house before the kids woke up that morning to sing in all three worship services. Then he had a long church business meeting that evening that kept him away until 10:00 p.m.
So how do you make a long day of Sunday commitments the best day ever for a father and his 5-year old boy who cherishes every moment spent with his awesome daddy?
Answer: Sandwich a trip to the Lego Expo between church obligations.
Those two "boys" loved every minute of the Lego Expo, and my son still talks about it often. They have built many impressive LEGO buildings and vehicles together, and at the age of 4, our son was already programming Lego robots without any adult supervision. Lego building ability must be in every boy's DNA. Just as each Lego brick holds tightly to another, Legos have been bonding father and son for almost 100 years.
The more I learn about health and fitness, the more I realize how much my marathon running worked against me physically with regard to achieving optimal fitness in all ten domains. I certainly had cardiovascular and respiratory endurance, stamina, and some speed, but training to run ridiculous distances did not train me for real life survival skills. It either did not help or worked against the other aspects of fitness which include overall strength, power, flexibility, balance, coordination, agility, and accuracy. Moreover, since spinal subluxations do not cause pain until the disc is 90% compressed, distance running can wreck the spine and knees without the runner even realizing it. Thankfully, after years of pain, countless hours of therapies, and tens of thousands of dollars invested in various treatments, I have finally found a doctor who is slowly and tediously correcting my spine without surgery. I have before and after X-rays to prove it. Giving up long distance running in lieu of cross training and cleaning up my diet (closer to Paleo with fewer grains, more protein, no soda ever again; yet I'm still unwilling to give up my dark chocolate), have also really helped.
Without my back doctor's permission, I got the wild idea around midnight, May 27, to put my home-based cross training to the test for a good cause the following morning. A nearby CrossFit box was hosting the Memorial Day Murph on Memorial Day to pay tribute to those brave military heroes who have given the ultimate sacrifice in service to our country. Lt. Michael Murphy's favorite conditioning workout for his work as a Navy SEAL became dubbed "The Murph". After Lt. Murphy died while serving in Afghanistan, the Memorial Day Murph was established to pay tribute and raise money for charities that support the military and their families.
So, while my veteran naval officer husband stayed home with the kids, I went to the CrossFit box to get a small taste of the hard core military training he must have endured. "The Murph" is a simple workout to remember, but it is not so simple to complete. It consists of the following:
Run 1 mile to start.
Complete 100 pull-ups with chin over the bar and full arm extension beneath for each rep.
Complete 200 military style push-ups with the entire torso touching the ground with each rep.
Complete 300 air squats.
Run 1 mile to finish.
The competitors in the Memorial Day Murph were divided into heats. Those who were particularly strong and brave wore weighted vests to simulate the heavy packs that military servicemen must lug around during their drills. While I have done pull-ups while wearing a weighted vest, I have also pulled muscles in the process, so I scaled down the workout by skipping the vest. I figured all the orthopedic equipment I wore was enough weight on my still-in-rehab spine.
Here's my heat at the starting line. I'm at the end beside the tough chic wearing a bandana.
The first mile felt great. I finished 2nd behind a buff guy half my age. He was wearing a 20 pound weighted vest. I was only carrying about 3 pounds of orthopedic gear. By the end of the workout, I had removed both my shoes and my Cho-pat knee braces to lighten the load.
Up this hill and around the corner to finish the first mile
I chose to split the strengthening portion of the workout into 10 sets of 10 pull-ups, 20 push-ups, and 30 squats. Those who have done this workout before broke it down even further. That would have been a smart move for me.
I'm hurting at this point.
Now, to illustrate just how badly it hurt by my 10th set, I bring you the most unflattering photo of me EVER! We can all thank our local CrossFit franchise owner for taking this embarrassing photo and posting it on Facebook for all to see. After a few sessions with the CrossFit trainer, I'm relieved to say that my form has increased tremendously as he has taught me better than any physical therapist ever did how to gain flexibility in my severely scarred (from difficult pregnancies) hip flexors.
The last mile of running was brutal. I remember finishing the 26th mile of my first marathon in seven minutes flat thanks to some youthful adrenalin. It took me about 40% longer to finish this last mile, and I had only been working out for half an hour before starting that last mile compared to four hours with the marathon. I even stopped running to crawl walk up the hill. One man, while walking out to his mailbox, saw the agony on my face during that last mile and asked, "How many miles have you run so far?" I could not bring myself to answer, "Only one, Sir". There is just no way to convert the strength work into road miles for someone who had been an avid runner for 21 years before taking cross training seriously.
I finished first in my heat, but certainly not first overall. There were some brave souls, including one woman, in my heat who wore weighted vests, so I have no room to boast here. The Lord carried me through the workout as I called out to Him throughout it. The others looked to be in much less pain in their photos, too. See how smooth and easy these more experienced CrossFitters make it seem? Piece of cake, right? Not for me!
All in all it was fun, but I have a MUCH greater respect and appreciation for the military than ever before. What a unique way to raise money for our troops, too!
My whole body ached for the next few days, but my doctor said that was more due to falling down the stairs later that evening than the workout itself. Oops. I obviously still need to work on the coordination component of fitness.
I am a wife, mom, fitness junkie, and most importantly, a follower of Christ. This blog is a place for me to journal about some of my favorite passions in life: Faith, Family, Freedom, and Fitness.
My goals for this blog are to: 1) Remember God's great works 2) Grow in love, knowledge, and insight 3) Encourage others 4) Glorify the Lord!
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