Before and After Photos

With a heart of levity, an appreciation for satire, and a desire to send a helpful message while making friends laugh, hoping not to offend while reaching a few hurting hearts who struggle as I have to find balance, seeking to highlight the real dangers and concerns that come with all the hyped up diet and "health" products, I bring you my own personal BEFORE and AFTER story. I pray my story can help someone realize sooner than I did that true health and lasting peace with yourself require balance. Too much of anything, even those things that seem so good for us like running, cleanses, or diet plans, are not good for us. Trading too much running and excessive meal planning for a balanced workout program and an "eat whatever my body craves whenever it craves it while opting for whole foods over processed" diet plan changed my life for the better. To God be the glory for leading me back to health.

Truly, though, an obsession with any physical aspect of yourself will lead to despair. Too often I lament over my wrinkles which I can't prevent but often try to remove with photo editors while forgetting that they represent a blessed life filled with smiles and abundant laughter for which I should rejoice. I can't do anything to remove the stretched out skin around my mid-section, but I can choose to see it as a reminder of the precious gifts for whom that skin stretched to hold for a full 9 months instead of being delivered too soon....children I once thought I would never be able to conceive or birth. I could whine about minor genetic conditions that cause me occasional pain and seem unsightly, or I can rejoice that I am healthy and strong, able to do things I never could before, not even during the vibrancy of my youth. I can work on those health areas I can control and should change to make me more effective in my roles as wife, mom, teacher, and friend, but I must keep my priorities balanced. Focus on what you can and should improve without shirking more important obligations to God and others, but do not obsess over what you can't control or fall for quick fixes or gimmicks with short term gains and long term losses. Life on earth is too short to waste on the trivial.

I want a life like his

I mentioned in the previous volleyball post that one of my daughter's teammates lost her father suddenly in late September to a brain aneurysm.  It was such a devastating life and shock to us all, for he was energetic, vibrant, healthy and so fruitful in ministry.  While we can't possibly understand the ways and timing of God or why He would take Ehud from his family so young in life, no one can deny how much God has worked that tragedy for good. (Romans 8:28)  I did not even know Ehud, but I knew his wife, for she was my son's music teacher for the past two years at school, and she was also a member of my Mighty Moms Monday morning muscle and movement class as well as a volleyball team mom.  She had the sweetest, gentlest, kindest spirit.  Their children are well respected as faithful, loving, kind Christ followers, so I knew he must have been a wonderful man.  Despite not knowing him personally, my daughter and I and countless others are forever changed by the way he lived his life.

His memorial service was the most Christ honoring and moving service I have ever attended personally and I could audibly feel the Lord's presence there, changing hearts and lives of others for eternity during the songs and testimonies giving all Glory to God for this man's walk of faith.  The strength and faith displayed by his wife, children, and dearest friends during the funeral at a time when they should be in despair was clearly a demonstration of the spirit of God.  They were much more focused on sharing Ehud's faith in Christ with others and casting his vision and light for the lost onto the thousands gathered than they were on their own loss.  They held back tears and spoke with power and might, yet with gentleness and humility.  They shared their confidence and trust in God's plans and purposes, even though their lives would never be the same and their loss was immeasurably great.  Their eyes were so fixed on eternity that the monumental loss was easier to bear, knowing it is only a temporary separation, and that Ehud is in the presence of His Lord.

On the morning before the  doctors confirmed his death to the extent that life support was removed,  I saw large crowds of students and teachers gathered in circles praying before school began and wondered what compelled such an outpouring of cries to God and intense emotion.  When I arrived at the weight room to set up for Mighty Moms, one of other moms in our class who is a close friend of Ehud's family, told me the news.  The last text she had received from Ehud's wife was "The doctor's will confirm his death one more time at 8am before harvesting his organs."  Imagine sending such a text only a few hours after serving together at church and watching him play ping pong with friends and family.

As I led a prayer with the other "Mighty Moms", we asked our God, who loves and cares for you all infinitely more the greatest human love, to sustain, comfort, and uphold Ehud's family and for His presence to overwhelm them with peace.  Soon after that prayer, a bird flew into the weight room and struggled to find it's way out until one of our animal loving moms gently picked up the bird into her caring hands and released it to soar outside once again.

Perhaps my analogy is far-fetched, but that bird's sudden entrance reminded me of the gospel hymn, "His Eye is On the Sparrow" and of the passage from which that song was written, Matthew 10:30-32.   It seemed as if the Spirit was saying, "Do not fear. I know and love this hurting family perfectly, and I have them cradled in the palm of my loving, strong hands. I will carry them to a place of peace and rest and show them the way out when they are ready to soar once more."

Grief is a burden much too heavy to carry. Because of Christ, we don't have to carry it alone, and I can see your family leaning so much into His loving arms.

Oddly enough, when I came to Mighty Moms the following week and turned on Pandora radio, the song, "His Eye is on the Sparrow" was the first song it played.  What are the odds of that?  His eye is on you, sweet family.  He told me so that morning. :-)

After the memorial service, I was so moved I shared the following:.

He only lived 46 years and had only been in our state for six of those years. He never sought fame or fortune, powerful positions, or public praise. He avoided center stage, choosing to serve tirelessly behind the scenes instead. He was a devoted father, faithful husband, dedicated disciple maker, missionary, Bible teacher, true and generous friend, son, brother, and a diligent worker/provider who offered himself as a living sacrifice each and every day, taking delight in serving others at every opportunity. He passionately served the cause of Christ while manifesting unconditional love, abundant joy, and unshakable peace found only through a close and personal walk with the Lord. His legacy reaches across the globe and deep into eternity.

So many people came to his funeral that the large church parking lot, the lawns of several homes near by, the Food Lion parking lot where a shuttle service ran, and the roads between them were all littered with vehicles. The worship center, every classroom, halls, foyers, and lobby areas were all packed to SRO as screens projected the funeral service into all those overflow areas. For almost three hours, people testified of his faith filled life and effective witness, giving God all the glory for choosing to work through him. One simple life surrendered to Christ impacted countless lives for eternity and the ripple effect will continue for generations. My daughter was deeply moved, and the only words she could find to describe her experience there were "I want a life like his." I do too, so let us not chase after the things of this world, but choose instead to live every moment intentionally for eternity.

As Jesus taught the lost religious leaders in Luke 10:37, "Go and do likewise."
Act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8b)

I came home from the service and scrubbed bathrooms in service to my family.  That's the chore I like the least.  Meanwhile, my mentor high school math teachermade her husband's favorite meal for dinner which is something she detests.  We were inspired to serve.

I barely slept that night as I felt God calling me to follow Ehud's example.  So when I went to church the next morning where I serve in the Access Ministry (a buddy ministry which helps special needs kids integrate into the regular classrooms), I wanted to be intentional about serving this time as Ehud had been.

My Access ministry buddy with glasses and a magnifying glass

I wrote the following after serving at church that morning:

One of the themes from that moving memorial service I wrote so much about yesterday was to take every opportunity to love and serve, not because our all sufficient God needs anything at all that we can offer, but so that we can experience the great joy and blessing that comes through watching God at work in the lives around us. Still I could not understand how this one man could have given so much of himself every single day. Did he not grow weary, overwhelmed, or burned out? How did he so successfully juggle so many ministry responsibilities while keeping his priorities in the right order?

So today when I was "serving" in Access Ministry I realized that working with these amazing kids with special needs isn't a sacrifice or an obligation, and it no longer makes me tired. It is a joyful privilege.

How many times have I built towers with my own kids and not really been intentional about it or been totally there in body, mind, and spirit? They may have said "thank you" on a good day before smashing the tower into bits all over the floor. But when Zoe and I built a tower together this morning, I was all there because I was supposed to be "serving", and her face lit up with immense excitement as if we had just built the world's tallest and most beautiful skyscraper together. She gave me enthusiastic claps, more high fives than I can count, and smiles that melted my heart so much that I wanted to buy her all the LEGOs in the land and build her a tower to the moon. She taught me what I had been missing all those times I failed to intentionally serve my family, opting instead to merely go through the motions.

That's when I understood better why Ehud was able to live such a life of humble service. Serving others intentionally is not a burden, but a joyful privilege and a wise investment, for God is faithful to give back more joy and wisdom than your investment ever costs you. Serving is partaking in the riches of God's grace. I love you, Zoe, and I praise God for the way He glorifies Himself through you. Thanks for teaching me today. Thanks also for insisting that I take this photo to show your mommy because now I have a picture to remind me of all the ways you teach me.

These examples may seem small to you, but I did not even know Ehud personally.  Yet, I have been profoundly impacted by the overflow of the love in his heart.  What a privilege and blessing it is to know his family.

I found this devotional blog post from Proverbs 31 Ministires to be helpful as I prepared for the funeral. "Dealing with Deep Grief"

Volleyball Season is Already Over!

It's been so fun to watch our daughter and her teammates grow in their skills, their relationships with one another, and in wisdom this past season.  They lost far more games than they won, but their attitudes were amazing, striving each time to play their best game, not to merely win the game.  The season included some tough life lesson as well.  One student broke her wrist at the beginning of the season and could not play again until the last week or two.  Another student was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes within the first few weeks of practice.  Her world changed forever as she went from carefree living to having to regular check her blood sugar and administer insulin, knowing her life could be at risk if she ever misses those daily healthcare disciplines.  Then, in late September, one of her teammates lost her father to sudden death by brain aneurysm. He was one of the most faithful, humble, servant minded, ministry focused men on earth.  These challenges taught the girls that each day is a gift, and that hardships fall on both the righteous and unrighteous.  Sometimes we cannot understands God's ways but we can trust in His sovereignty and goodness.  The way these families faced their trials from a temporary injury to a life changing devastating loss strengthened the girls' hearts in ways nothing else could.  I'm so glad our daughter had this experience and was shepherded by a coach with such a giving, loving, heart for God and His children.

 

No circumstances, no matter how devastating, can bring these girls down!

She gave up her lofty gymnastics dreams to play school sports with her friends and has NO REGRETS. She learned a lot from her coach and her teammates and from her personal Bible study and prayer times with the Lord this season about priorities. She has discovered that she has far more joy and peace when she puts God first, people second, and herself last than she ever had when she had first place gymnastics medals draped around her neck.

Two of her biggest fans!

 Right after her last game

Team Prayer

  

 

Our daughter may not have been the MVP, but she sure did win the Coach's heart!

Manon Turns 50!

A dear friend I met in our church life class recently turned 50.  Instead of letting us give gifts to her, she gifted her friends with the best birthday party I think I've ever attended.  The party had a 50s, 60s, 70s theme, and guests were asked to dress up in the style of one of those decades.  Since my husband and I were born in the 70s, that seemed the decade we should choose. I normally struggle with costumes as I'm not creative that way, but when my parents brought us some vintage pants they wore in the 70s, I was suddenly ALL ABOUT IT.  Many thanks to my parents for saving these clothes for over 40 years, so that we could thoroughly enjoy them that night.

I'm not sure if mustering up the courage to be my real crazy self came with age or from helping out at the Joy Proms. I think it was more the latter for the special needs community knows far better than most of us how to relish life, withOUT so much self-awareness/self-consciousness, and just be oneself - expressing some of the great joy within our hearts which cannot be contained. I cannot thank those fine folks enough for all they have taught me.

 

If I had a dollar for every stranger who came up to us at that awesome decades dress birthday party and took pictures just like this one, I could buy us some jewel studded vintage platform shoes to match our pants.

My husband was very tired at the party after camping out with our son and 46 other fathers/sons the night before, so I kept checking his mood ring so I would know when he was ready to leave.  Ha!  I loved mood rings back in the day.

Manon made much of the elaborate food which included:  Smoked Salmon Canapes • Sea Scallops wrapped with bacon • Teriyaki Chicken Kebobs • Grilled Cocktail Lamb Lollipops • Cheese Puffs • Shrimp Cocktail • Devil Eggs and more…The dessert buffet was filled with all sorts of her fabulous baked goodies she's made from scratch for us before for Life Class along with chocolate truffles and brownies that made my mouth water.  Best party food ever, and she labored over it all for us. She should start a party planning/catering business.

She set up this photo booth and all the signs, too. So clever!

 

The guy in the wig is from my hometown & attended our rival high school.

 

Her next door neighbors (to the left is our marriage pastor's wife)

Here's last photo post from the party to prove that growing older, wiser, more responsible, and stronger in the faith does not necessarily mean that all the youthful sillies, dancing shoes, disco grooves, and fun parties have to go away. In fact, they only get better...as does the food. Happy birthday to the most fun-loving, talented, energetic, generous, and youthful 50-year-old I know.

Youth Ministry, Teaching, and Parenting

Youth Group & Children's Life Class Ministries
Our daughter has officially aged out of the children's program at church and is now part of the youth group.  She's now enrolled in a small group Bible study led by two young women, a college student and a new college graduate.  She loves the leaders and has long had a precious hunger for God's word.  She also attends the large group Refinery meetings.

The kick-off social was held at a farm owned by some of our church friends.They dreamed of this farm for ministry purposes for years, so it's been exciting to watch them constantly hosting large groups.  The barn is a multi-purpose game room for youth, and the large pavilion fits long buffet lines and large crowds when it rains.  The pond is great for fishing or pontoon boating, and their animals are always fun to watch.

Our entire family got to attend the social, and it was such a treat to be "promoted" to youth group parents and get to participate in all their exciting adventures.

You know your 6th grader has just joined a large youth group when it takes over 10 acres to host them all for the kick-off event.

And you know our God is merciful when He pushes back the rain clouds all around us throughout the social while painting the sky with a magnificent sunset. Thanks to our hosts for the amazing hospitality as always.

 

Our church's children's Sunday School program had it's move up Sunday the week after Labor Day.  When our son moved up, the same teachers who had taught our daughter three years prior welcomed him to class.  When he told his sister that his teachers remember her, she responded, "Yea, I've been around the block a few times." #Tweens

Teaching
I recently began teaching STEM classes for a homeschool enrichment program held at a Christian camp 30 miles away.  I debated whether or not the long commute would be too much for such a commitment, but this place of ministry is powerful, and I felt like I should at least give back a little for all they've done to sow the gospel and Christian discipleship into the lives of youth across our community.

Approximately 19 years ago, I stood with a dearest friend and college roommate as she married her beloved husband at this camp where they met while serving as camp counselors, faithfully sowing God's word into the hearts of young people. They have been steadfastly serving together in multiple ministries ever since.

At the camp's open house, I found myself standing right beside her once again as our i display tables "just happened" to be placed side-by-side. Thank you, precious friend, for your Godly example, devotion to ministry, abiding friendship, persistent prayers, and tough love all these years as our paths have intersected in such unique ways. What an honor it is to be joining you on staff this time. 

When two beautiful deer"welcomed" me at my classroom door that day, I knew my friend was right all along about this place of ministry. 

Hello deer!

I absolutely love my little classroom cabin in the woods. It's the ideal setting for developing astute observers, explorers, discoverers, and worshipers of the One who made it all "and saw that it was good".

Parenting
Midterm grade reports were released recently, and our kids had very different reactions.  Our daughter has moved up to middle school where letter grades are on a 10-point scale. Our son is still in grammar school which uses a 6 point scale.  As usual, they made almost the exact same grades, but one number they had in common was an A for her but a B for our son.  She was in tears with herself for getting a low A, while our son seemed completely unconcerned about his B, though we all know he could have scored better if he had not rushed through his assignments.  She is obsessed with grades, so she likes it when subjects are easy for her.  Our son is still bored out of his mind in class and only wants to be stimulated. Sometimes to break the monotony, he'll divide or multiply the problems instead of adding and subtracting them because he's so sick of addition and subtraction problems again when he was doing long division and pre-algebra at home years ago.  I feel for him, but he also needs to honor God by following the instructions and giving his best.  Similarly our daughter needs to honor God by giving her best instead of honoring herself by trying to be the best in the class.  So we parent them differently.  I can most relate to my daughter because I put entirely too much pressure on myself in school as she does even though my parents seemed to care less about my grades.  The pressure came within, and nothing they could say could change how seriously I took my studies.

So I tried to speak to her heart once again, trying to convince her not to be so hard on herself when she doesn't reach the unrealistic expectations she places on herself. I sent up an arrow prayer for God to open her eyes and help her see what a beautiful treasure she is, not because of what she accomplishes, but because of who He says she is and because of what He is doing in her heart and in her life. God is glorified when we give our best for Him, regardless of how we measure up by our own standards or those of others. Parents, relatives, and churches may preach these truths and make every effort to ease others' anxieties, but the battles still rage within as the culture's influence presses harder.

After my prayer, these words from a book by Beverly Lewis suddenly struck me:
"Finishing well in life is not so much about being the best or the greatest at something but rather, embracing lowliness of heart, laying down one's life."   That quote reminded me of Matthew 20:16, “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” - Matthew 20:16

Speaking of parenting, I've been thinking and writing frequently about helicopter parenting.  We have a few of those at the school, and I'm sure I've been one at times.  Lately, I find myself just not having enough energy left to hover or micromanage their lives even if I wanted to.  Tough love and natural consequences are the theme these days, but I pray I'm balancing the relinqu of their responsibilities to them to handle with enough loving support.  This article resonated with what I'm seeing at school among anxious students and with what I'm trying so much to avoid with my naturally driven first born.  "Kids of Helicopter Parents are Sputtering Out"

Crazy Critters

You know that moment at the gym after a long week when you are so eager to start your weekend, but after you've finished your workout except for the cardio, you discover all the cardio equipment is occupied with a queue forming? Well, I thought a personal home gym would eliminate the waiting. I thought wrong. ‪#‎CardioCritters‬

You would think that as much as this cat sleeps that he doesn't cause any trouble around here.  Wrong!  Leather sofa and sectional, recliner, rugs, carpets - ruined.  His favorite human on earth is our daughter, the cat whisperer (who also feeds him, cleans his litter box, and lets him curl up beside her every night). He sure likes the daddy of the house, too, as they play funny games every evening.

Watching him nap on our bed early each morning without a care in the world tempts me to envy his spoiled, carefree, privileged lifestyle. Lord, please help me to always desire more than a cat's life for myself and my kids.

Orwell continues to pretend that Muffin is a cat, for he longs for a playmate.  Muffin just sits there, still as can be, as Orwell taunts, licks, cuddles, or pounces upon her.  Muffin will engage him in a game of chase every now and then, but that's the extent of her playtime offerings.  Even so, Orwell can't seem to get enough of her...not even willing to stop licking her when she has to use the potty.

That moment when you realize your adopted baby brother is now twice as big as you are

First Set Win

Unlike most schools, our middle school has three volleyball teams, so our middle school equivalent of a JV team is comprised of mostly 6th graders, many of whom, like our daughter, had never touched a volleyball before. They have been playing older teams with more experience and had not won a set yet until this past week when they suddenly started playing like a seasoned team, winning both games against Trinity.

I love these gift boxes that moms & coaches prepare for the girls each week!

How do you feel about that win, ladies? The blur is our high speed girl, #14.

Great job, ladies!

GAME HIGHLIGHTS (Written by their coach)

The biggest thing I have to recap about Friday night's game is our serving percentage.  Our team had a serving SUCCESS RATE of 86%.  Several players made all their attempts and many others missed only one.  Successful serves is how we will win games - and our serving continues to improve each week.  Yeah!!!

In addition, the girls (very competently) executed a new serve receive and setter format that we only practiced for two days before last week's games.  It is the format that our upper level teams use and the varsity coach challenged us to try.  As a team, we agreed to give it a go (I was admittedly hesitant) but the girls pulled it off nicely.  The format uses only three main serve receive passers, making it more clear who is responsible for receiving the ball.  Also, we moved our setter position from the middle to the right outside which allows for better court position for the setter to pass/set the ball up for the third hit.  Both of these formats as usually played by higher skilled players.  Your girls are extremely bright and picked it up so quick.  They will continue to develop as they receive more and more volleyball exposure.

Lastly, all of our ladies received a good amount of playing time this week.  As I've said before, it's important to me that each girl develops individually so the team is that much stronger.  Each player is working hard, taking practice serious and genuinely giving it their very best to improve their skills. That is such a blessing to me!  I love watching and being pleasantly surprised as I see each young lady blossom.