I want a life like his

I mentioned in the previous volleyball post that one of my daughter's teammates lost her father suddenly in late September to a brain aneurysm.  It was such a devastating life and shock to us all, for he was energetic, vibrant, healthy and so fruitful in ministry.  While we can't possibly understand the ways and timing of God or why He would take Ehud from his family so young in life, no one can deny how much God has worked that tragedy for good. (Romans 8:28)  I did not even know Ehud, but I knew his wife, for she was my son's music teacher for the past two years at school, and she was also a member of my Mighty Moms Monday morning muscle and movement class as well as a volleyball team mom.  She had the sweetest, gentlest, kindest spirit.  Their children are well respected as faithful, loving, kind Christ followers, so I knew he must have been a wonderful man.  Despite not knowing him personally, my daughter and I and countless others are forever changed by the way he lived his life.

His memorial service was the most Christ honoring and moving service I have ever attended personally and I could audibly feel the Lord's presence there, changing hearts and lives of others for eternity during the songs and testimonies giving all Glory to God for this man's walk of faith.  The strength and faith displayed by his wife, children, and dearest friends during the funeral at a time when they should be in despair was clearly a demonstration of the spirit of God.  They were much more focused on sharing Ehud's faith in Christ with others and casting his vision and light for the lost onto the thousands gathered than they were on their own loss.  They held back tears and spoke with power and might, yet with gentleness and humility.  They shared their confidence and trust in God's plans and purposes, even though their lives would never be the same and their loss was immeasurably great.  Their eyes were so fixed on eternity that the monumental loss was easier to bear, knowing it is only a temporary separation, and that Ehud is in the presence of His Lord.

On the morning before the  doctors confirmed his death to the extent that life support was removed,  I saw large crowds of students and teachers gathered in circles praying before school began and wondered what compelled such an outpouring of cries to God and intense emotion.  When I arrived at the weight room to set up for Mighty Moms, one of other moms in our class who is a close friend of Ehud's family, told me the news.  The last text she had received from Ehud's wife was "The doctor's will confirm his death one more time at 8am before harvesting his organs."  Imagine sending such a text only a few hours after serving together at church and watching him play ping pong with friends and family.

As I led a prayer with the other "Mighty Moms", we asked our God, who loves and cares for you all infinitely more the greatest human love, to sustain, comfort, and uphold Ehud's family and for His presence to overwhelm them with peace.  Soon after that prayer, a bird flew into the weight room and struggled to find it's way out until one of our animal loving moms gently picked up the bird into her caring hands and released it to soar outside once again.

Perhaps my analogy is far-fetched, but that bird's sudden entrance reminded me of the gospel hymn, "His Eye is On the Sparrow" and of the passage from which that song was written, Matthew 10:30-32.   It seemed as if the Spirit was saying, "Do not fear. I know and love this hurting family perfectly, and I have them cradled in the palm of my loving, strong hands. I will carry them to a place of peace and rest and show them the way out when they are ready to soar once more."

Grief is a burden much too heavy to carry. Because of Christ, we don't have to carry it alone, and I can see your family leaning so much into His loving arms.

Oddly enough, when I came to Mighty Moms the following week and turned on Pandora radio, the song, "His Eye is on the Sparrow" was the first song it played.  What are the odds of that?  His eye is on you, sweet family.  He told me so that morning. :-)

After the memorial service, I was so moved I shared the following:.

He only lived 46 years and had only been in our state for six of those years. He never sought fame or fortune, powerful positions, or public praise. He avoided center stage, choosing to serve tirelessly behind the scenes instead. He was a devoted father, faithful husband, dedicated disciple maker, missionary, Bible teacher, true and generous friend, son, brother, and a diligent worker/provider who offered himself as a living sacrifice each and every day, taking delight in serving others at every opportunity. He passionately served the cause of Christ while manifesting unconditional love, abundant joy, and unshakable peace found only through a close and personal walk with the Lord. His legacy reaches across the globe and deep into eternity.

So many people came to his funeral that the large church parking lot, the lawns of several homes near by, the Food Lion parking lot where a shuttle service ran, and the roads between them were all littered with vehicles. The worship center, every classroom, halls, foyers, and lobby areas were all packed to SRO as screens projected the funeral service into all those overflow areas. For almost three hours, people testified of his faith filled life and effective witness, giving God all the glory for choosing to work through him. One simple life surrendered to Christ impacted countless lives for eternity and the ripple effect will continue for generations. My daughter was deeply moved, and the only words she could find to describe her experience there were "I want a life like his." I do too, so let us not chase after the things of this world, but choose instead to live every moment intentionally for eternity.

As Jesus taught the lost religious leaders in Luke 10:37, "Go and do likewise."
Act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8b)

I came home from the service and scrubbed bathrooms in service to my family.  That's the chore I like the least.  Meanwhile, my mentor high school math teachermade her husband's favorite meal for dinner which is something she detests.  We were inspired to serve.

I barely slept that night as I felt God calling me to follow Ehud's example.  So when I went to church the next morning where I serve in the Access Ministry (a buddy ministry which helps special needs kids integrate into the regular classrooms), I wanted to be intentional about serving this time as Ehud had been.

My Access ministry buddy with glasses and a magnifying glass

I wrote the following after serving at church that morning:

One of the themes from that moving memorial service I wrote so much about yesterday was to take every opportunity to love and serve, not because our all sufficient God needs anything at all that we can offer, but so that we can experience the great joy and blessing that comes through watching God at work in the lives around us. Still I could not understand how this one man could have given so much of himself every single day. Did he not grow weary, overwhelmed, or burned out? How did he so successfully juggle so many ministry responsibilities while keeping his priorities in the right order?

So today when I was "serving" in Access Ministry I realized that working with these amazing kids with special needs isn't a sacrifice or an obligation, and it no longer makes me tired. It is a joyful privilege.

How many times have I built towers with my own kids and not really been intentional about it or been totally there in body, mind, and spirit? They may have said "thank you" on a good day before smashing the tower into bits all over the floor. But when Zoe and I built a tower together this morning, I was all there because I was supposed to be "serving", and her face lit up with immense excitement as if we had just built the world's tallest and most beautiful skyscraper together. She gave me enthusiastic claps, more high fives than I can count, and smiles that melted my heart so much that I wanted to buy her all the LEGOs in the land and build her a tower to the moon. She taught me what I had been missing all those times I failed to intentionally serve my family, opting instead to merely go through the motions.

That's when I understood better why Ehud was able to live such a life of humble service. Serving others intentionally is not a burden, but a joyful privilege and a wise investment, for God is faithful to give back more joy and wisdom than your investment ever costs you. Serving is partaking in the riches of God's grace. I love you, Zoe, and I praise God for the way He glorifies Himself through you. Thanks for teaching me today. Thanks also for insisting that I take this photo to show your mommy because now I have a picture to remind me of all the ways you teach me.

These examples may seem small to you, but I did not even know Ehud personally.  Yet, I have been profoundly impacted by the overflow of the love in his heart.  What a privilege and blessing it is to know his family.

I found this devotional blog post from Proverbs 31 Ministires to be helpful as I prepared for the funeral. "Dealing with Deep Grief"