Back to School Milestones

This is a big year of change for my children.  My son is moving upstairs to the Upper School to start 6th grade, and my daughter is entering Rhetoric (high) school as a 9th grader.

Today was Meet the Teacher Day, which is like an orientation or prep day for the first day of school tomorrow. This day was quite different today from what it was like when our kids first started attending this school. When the kids were in the lower (elementary) school, they stayed close by my side as I introduced them to their new teachers. They gladly posed for lots of cute pictures in front of their new cubbie lockers, and I made full scrapbook layouts chronicling this special day. When they moved up to the upper school for 6th grade, they kept a few feet away from me throughout the orientation. My daughter would only allow a picture in front of her locker when no one else was looking, and my son refused pictures entirely.

This year is my daughter's first year in Rhetoric (high) school. As soon as we stepped out of the van today, she completely dissed me until it was time to return home. I took no pictures, introduced my kids to no one, and barely met any of their new teachers.

It's all good, though, because we relish new adventures, and I enjoy watching them embrace exciting changes on their own. If I were to consume myself with sentimental longings to keep them tiny, I might miss those moments that make them mighty.

Bring it on, middle school and high school!

Identity Confusion

I keep seeing all this news about identity struggles. People are so confused over how to define themselves in terms of gender, race, ethnicity, family connections, natural abilities, and life purpose, as if any of those attributes adequately define us. Our society has identity confusion alright, but that's because they fail to acknowledge the true source of their identity. The new social order seeks to deny we are first and foremost created beings, made in the image of God. As Paul David Tripp wrote: "You and I aren’t the authors of our own stories. We are God’s idea, we reflect his design, we exist for his purpose, and we have been commissioned to do his will. We didn’t think ourselves up, and we didn’t emerge by chance out of primordial soup." Every aspect of our being, including our gender, ethnicity, heritage and life experiences are all according to His will and purpose, not our own. As long as we reject this truth, we will never fully understand or find peace in who or whose we are.

Just as a cake cannot tell its baker it is a prime rib, a biological male cannot pronounce to his Creator that he is female, wave a surgical wand, and magically become a female. Similarly, Rachel Doležal cannot become African American simply through cosmetic pretending.

We can choose unbelief, rejecting God's design and plan for our lives, but our beliefs can't change our biology in the slightest or cause us to no longer be created beings who are ultimately accountable to our sovereign, true, loving, and good Creator. When we look to Him for our identity and purpose and accept His Lordship over our lives, the truth becomes clear, and we find perfect fulfillment in our identity as children of God.

Thoughts while Spinning on the Potter's Wheel

Do you ever feel like you are spinning around and around, never getting anywhere and pressed in on every side? I was thinking about how that feeling in life is a picture of clay on a potter's wheel when our life class teacher just happened to teach on Isaiah 64:8 this morning.

"But now, O Lord, you are our Father;
we are the clay, and you are our potter;
we are all the work of your hand."

Whether the constant spinning in circles or striving but going nowhere is the result of our own stubborn independence and unwillingness to receive direction from God or because our loving Father is intentionally taking us through a season of profound change, God is still our sovereign potter who is in the process of molding us from a lump of clay into something beautiful, fashioned for a significant, eternal purpose. We get to choose whether we will resist His work in us and continue pretending we are in control while utterly lost and helpless, or we can rest in Him, finding perfect peace in His sovereignty, goodness, and love as we let Him have his perfect way with us.

Come for Help

It can be heartbreaking when your strong-willed, independent child refuses to come to you for help, no matter how long it takes that child to figure things out on her own and no matter how many mistakes he/she may make in the process. Why won't she let me help? But I have learned that when things get bad enough, that child will come to the parents she loves and trusts for help, and once she realizes how much easier and more enjoyable life is with you there to guide her, she keeps coming back day after day, grateful for the help and support.

That realization gives me a much greater appreciation for God's love for each of His children, for the trials in life that bring us to the end of ourselves and lead us back to Him, and for the joy our Abba has when we come to Him for help and guidance. It's hard to fathom how the God of the universe could take such delight in such sinful creatures fashioned out of dust, but He calls us His children, and I know it thrills this parent when an independent, strong-willed child comes to me for help at last.

While I can help my child with math, logic, science, civics, and issues of life I have navigated myself through the wisdom of hindsight and God's word, there is so much more that I cannot teach her, for she is gifted in so many ways I am definitely NOT. But God is not weak in any area. He possess ALL wisdom, ALL knowledge, ALL authority, ALL power. He is sovereign over all, and He is all we ever need.

All of us have at some point chosen our own path and stubbornly tried to do life our way, on our own strength, without seeking our heavenly Father's input or direction. And whenever we do, we eventually come to the end of ourselves, overwhelmed and utterly hopeless apart from Him. When/if we turn back to Him, He enthusiastically welcomes us, guides us, and lavishes His infinite love upon us. There is no greater joy or security than abiding in Him in the center of His will. We need only come to Him, trust Him, and receive.

Fighting the Holiday Battles, both Big and Small

The Christmas season seems to get busier and more frustrating every year...as family needs increase and as retailers, merchants, service providers, and shoppers all grow more stressed and irritable - causing them to make mistakes or become negligent creating havoc for everyone. I've vented about my own frustrating experiences on here way too much. While I may feel the need to vent all the emotions out first so my heart and mind are open to receive the lesson or a word from the Lord, I cannot leave the venting out there without sharing the lesson or message that followed.

I have found that I have a much better attitude about frustrating circumstances, unfair treatment, or persecution, when it's obvious persecution for Christ (Matthew 5:9). If it's spiritual warfare before a mission trip, I'm usually ready and armored up. (Ephesians 6: 10-18) If I'm being ridiculed, targeted, and treated unfairly by haters of God and His word because of my faith, then I'm not surprised and know to draw my strength from Him to bear it gladly. When facing gut-wrenching pain or grief, we believers know we are powerless on our own to get through it, so we trust only in our gracious God who possesses all power, authority, and sovereignty.

But the enemy knows our weaknesses. He knows how to distract us and when we are more likely to trust in our own strength instead of looking up to God. He also knows that he is more likely to lead us astray if he chips away at us, little by little, with small irritations and frustrations. Rude drivers, no-shows for costly appointments, miserable customer service, broken promises, wasted hours waiting, last minute cancellations, flight delays, weather changes, traffic jams.....all are so tiny taken by themselves, but when compounded on top of sleepless nights, endless to-do lists, unrealistic expectations, incessant demands....it can all combine to pull our eyes away from the one focus of our entire life - the One lover of our soul - the Creator and Lord over all the universe who spoke it all into existence with his spoken word and then sent His son to die for all our transgressions against Him. When we stop looking up at how big God is, suddenly all the frustrations of the holidays seem enormous. And they all seem somehow unspiritual (yes, I made up that word)...as if we should fight them with human "weapons" instead of donning the armor of God and resisting them with God's word and with prayer.

I enjoy resistance training, but I can't expect to sit on my bum for a month, and then bench press 300#s when the big attacks come. I get the best results when I consistently train each and every muscle group, little by little, every single week. I have to resist the weight, however. I can't just lie under a barbell, defeated. I have to press against it. The little efforts to oppose that weight consistently over time make me stronger and less prone to injury than if I only sporadically lifted weights when I thought I needed strength the most.

 

So all that to say the trivial inconveniences and annoyances in this life have value - eternal value. Disrespect, offense, mistakes, lies, mistreatment, and failures are a given in this life. And while God does not tempt us or make us suffer, He sometimes allows attacks or suffering into our lives, whether big or small, to strengthen us and make us holy and for whatever greater purposes He may have which we cannot see with our finite minds. He wants to redeem that which is broken, worldly, or unjust in our lives, whether it seems spiritual or not. We have a choice, though. We can whine and complain and refuse to draw on God's power to resist it, or we can push back evil with good. We can resist hatred with love, rude behavior with kindness, greed with charity, abuse with compassion, and Satan's lies with God's truth. By relying on God and choosing to respond according to His word, we become stronger in every area of our lives and more like our heavenly Father.

While I often feel like all these irritations waste so much of my limited time on earth, I must remember that nothing is wasted with God. (1 Corinthians 15:58) May we bear it all, both the the little frustrations and the big, awful challenges or extreme persecutions life may bring us, with faith, courage, and hope, resting in His power, presence, and promises, looking not to our own interests but

only to Him.

Keeping Youth Athletics in Perspective

It's very tempting in our society, which has made youth sports out to be some sort of religious cult requiring the most extreme devotion,  to lose sight of the true value of sports activities for our kids. Hopefully we did not get them involved so we could live vicariously through them or with the expectation that they will always win and go pro. It's common to get so caught up in winning, gaining elite skills, and pursuing athletic scholarships (which become a huge burden and a full-time job for the student, often taking priority over studying or attending classes), that we forget that the greatest benefit and reason for putting our kids in sports is for their personal character development.  Sports may shape our kids' lives, but they must not consume their lives. 

Sports activities teach kids to work as a team, putting the interests of the whole above one's own interests. They teach patience, dedication, discipline, and perseverance. They teach respect for authority, respect for one's peers, and respect for the limits of one's own physical body. Sports give young people practice overcoming adversities and expose them to important realities about life such as: life isn't fair; things don't always go your way; you are not the best, and you are not the worst, so stop comparing and just be all that God created you to be!

A few weeks ago, my daughter and a few other 8th graders ran a relay together at their first ever high-school polar bear track meet. It was a new experience, and it was cold! It was humbling running against the older, more experienced high school girls (3 out of 4 girls on her relay team had never run track before at all, and our daughter had only run middle school track one short season). It was a great chance for them to develop courage.

Our daughter ran the anchor leg, and by the time she got the baton for the last lap, at least one high school team had finished, which is not surprising given her team's age and experience. Based on the video her coach sent me, she was at least 200-300 meters behind the next-to-last runner. In real life, when most people see no chance of winning or when they see the large gap between where they are now and where they want to be, they give up. Our girl had already run 3 events, and she certainly couldn't win this one, so why strive to eek out more effort when she was already spent simply to lose anyway? That's a typical response for the "entitled" generations. But youth sports instill a different attitude. They teach kids that giving their very best effort is what matters. Sports inspire the determination to never give up. So my girl took that baton, prayed, and gave it her best effort. And you know what? She didn't finish 200-300 meters behind the next to last runner. In fact, she passed the high schooler who probably never expected our team to come close.

 

You just never know what might happen if you simply give your best, not for the purpose of bringing yourself glory, but only for the glory of God. Those are the types of life lessons that we want our children to gain through their sports activities, and I'm thankful for every single one.

Our Cat's Life

This cat has it made. He lives the "purr"fect life.
He always wins by stirring up strife.

He knows how to get whatever he wants.
With furniture scratching and relentless taunts.

Each day he comes and goes as he pleases,
Every carnal desire he gladly seizes.

Whether exploring and playing with friends outside
Or taking long snoozes on the buffets inside,

He enjoys each moment without any stress,
While we work like slaves cleaning up his mess.

He pays no bills and never files taxes.
He misses no meals and simply relaxes.

When he visits his family at our homestead
He is massaged, groomed, cuddled, and fed.

How Teachers Can Relate to the Frustrations of my Typical Kid

My 10-year-old has never seemed like a typical boy his age. As early as age 3, he would engage adults in conversations about topics more interesting to adults than kids. He would talk to Nana about gardening, decorating, and the weather. When with Pops, he talks about Duke basketball and mowing the lawn. He talks to his dad about space exploration, nuclear reactors, military strategy, and computers. He talks to me about theology, current events (he's especially interested in N. Korea's nuclear weapon capacity), politics, fitness, and finance - to the degree that he can understand anyway.
His favorite magazine right now is Popular Mechanics, and he also seems to like Money Magazine. He still likes Legos but primarily the programmable Mindstorm kind his dad likes best. When he was 4, he busied himself while I was homeschooling his sister by assembling his father's Lego Mindstorm kit. When he was ready to program it, he logged into his father's computer (apparently he had memorized the password by watching his dad type it in repeatedly over time) and figured out how to program the thing. Lego instructions are in pictures, and he had watched his dad to do that enough, too, I guess.

 

When our school hired new teachers, bought new textbooks, and replaced some chairs, he asked how that increased spending affected the school's debt-to-income ratio. When we spend money on large home improvements, he asks me if we have enough money to do that and today asked how paying mortgage interest impacts our income taxes. He wants to start investing/trading stocks, but he keeps blowing/investing his money on Pokemon cards. He'll get frustrated if you don't take that game seriously, playing by the rules and strategizing effectively.

He likes obeying rules when he can see the utility in them. Rules that seek to maintain order and fairness are his favorite. While his room may be messy, he generally likes structure and order, so when kids his age act like kids his age by running around wild, crazy, and loud when they are supposed to be working on a project, he gets annoyed. And his biggest peeve is when boys do not follow the game rules, cheating during recess. When kids in his project group smash what they are supposed to be studying or use tools inappropriately, he gets aggravated. So, as he was relating to me about his day today, he vented his frustration over the fact that the kids in his class acted like....typical kids.

"Did you lose your temper?" I asked him?

"Yes!" he cried!

"Uh-oh - did you act out in anger and get in trouble?" I asked.

"No, I only lost it on the inside," he replied.

"Did you politely ask your classmates to follow the instructions or tell them how their behavior made you feel?"

"Yes," he said, "BUT THEY WOULD NOT LISTEN!"

"Then now you know how it feels to be a parent or a teacher who gets to endure such behavior by kids all day long. Perhaps you should show some empathy and servant-minded kindness to your teachers and other parents. You could help make their days more tolerable, even pleasant, you know." - I said (or lectured).

While I may think my little man is odd, quirky, or not quite normal, I'm guessing there is no such thing as a typical kid, for they are all wonderfully, beautifully, and uniquely made. And if they behaved according to a predictable pattern, then parenting would be too easy. May we all seek to exude more patience, harness our tempers, love without condition, and find ways to better empathize, but let him not miss out, I pray, on the simple pleasures of just being a kid.
#PracticingPatience #LearningEmpathy

My Girl is Growing Up while I'm Gaining Some Perspective

Her rough delivery left us both black and blue.
We weren't sure she would make it; her APGAR was 2.

13 years ago, she would not eat, making me so uptight.
Now she eats most everything in sight.

11 years ago, bath time could be a battle.
Now her showers take so long the pipes rattle.

10 years ago, she was all about princesses and pink.
Now she collects sports gear and cleats that stink.

8 years ago, she loved reading to her Build-a-Bears
Now she writes fiction and cooks meals she shares.
 
6 years ago, American Girl Dolls were her favorite toy.
Now special needs ministry brings her such great joy.

3 years ago, gymnastics consumed her time.
Now she flips for Christ; in whom her thoughts sublime.

Last year, she matured, both inside and out,
Now she leads with more faith and less doubt.

Strong-willed, compassionate, brave, and bold
What words will describe her as her years unfold?

#GrowingUp #FirstBorn

Easter Weekend 2017

Good Friday
For family devotions tonight, I read about Jesus' crucifixion as recorded in John 17. Verse 29 records Jesus taking his last drink from a sponge on a stalk from a hyssop plant (fulfilling yet another tiny detail from ancient prophecy) right before He said, "It is finished" (vs. 30) and died. After I read those verses, my mostly right-brained, usually non-detailed kid said, "The hyssop plant may also be significant because hyssop was dipped in the blood of the sacrificial lamb and used to paint blood over the door frame in a shape similar to a cross so the angel of death would pass over their house." (She was referencing Exodus 12:21-21.) Then we remembered that King David once said, "Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. " (Psalm 51:7). The hyssop references all work together to "paint" a beautiful picture of God's salvation plan and shows how inspired the Scriptures really are. 

Who needs a concordance to make Biblical connections and deepen understanding when you have kids who study the Bible? Praise God for planting faith, love for God, and His truth in their hearts.

I just had to bike back to my happy place today to contemplate the crucifixion of my Lord in my place.

My happy place on Good Friday

"It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”When he had said this, he breathed his last.

The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, “Surely this was a righteous man.” (Luke 23: 44-47) #GoodFriday

Saturday 

I know some amazingly organized and ambitious Pinterest friends who are Betty Crocker and Martha Stewart (minus the jail time) all in one. But for those moms who feel like they always fall short of that perfect standard, I am here to let you know you are not alone and make you feel better about your successes. I call it my ministry of mediocrity.

I impressed myself by actually remembering to buy Easter basket gifts for the kids this year, but I forgot to get Easter baskets. I bought cards for the grandparents, signed, addressed, and stamped them a month early, but I did not remember to send them until after the mail came yesterday, so they will all be late. I bought a new Easter wreath from Pier 1 and other spring decor, but I forgot to decorate until today. I saw eggs were on sale for 59 cents a dozen at the store yesterday, but I didn't buy them because I couldn't think of a reason why we might need them. Then my daughter asked if we could dye eggs this morning. I found three in the refrigerator and she boiled and dyed them by herself while I was trying to climb out of my son's closet where a purge fest was underway in an attempt to find something that still fit him for church tomorrow. When I came out of his room alive, thanks to the Hazmat suit, I found the mantle looking cute with three colorful eggs, thanks to our dear daughter who still treasures traditions.

My mom tells my daughter that this family would fall apart if it wasn't for her here to be the mama. Why does my mother always have to be right?

Now that my husband is finally home after an unusual period of excessive (IMO) business travel, maybe I can handle this mom gig a little better.  Taking another bike ride to my happy place at sunset certainly helped clear my head.

The critters seemed excited about Easter.  Orwell wanted to look festive for the occasion, so while I was changing out the wreaths on the front door to the one covered in Easter eggs, Orwell decided to wear the other one as his Easter tu-tu, but is much too big for him.

So Orwell gave up and took a nap.  He wanted to build a fort like the kids often do, but he's much too lazy for all that effort, so he made do with a stool as his fort.

Easter Sunday

We got up early Sunday morning and rushed to my hometown, so the kids ended up looking inside their Easter bags (I could not find their baskets) in the van on the way to church.

We arrived at my home church early enough to recreate a photo we took 25 years ago at that same location.  Back then I had just met my husband during his spring break trip to our area with the USNA Glee Club concert tour, and he had returned with a childhood friend of mine (who was also in the USNA Glee Club) for Easter weekend.

Much has changed in the past 25 years, but many other things have stayed the same. My childhood church may have grown exponentially, built new buildings, and altered their format, but their love for God and others, the faithful teaching of His word, and even the landscaping around the old building remain steadfast. Our budding romance 25 years ago may have fizzled for a season, but God resurrected it, and we were married inside this old church sanctuary 9 years after this old photo was taken. I still have big and bad hair days, and my husband still doesn't smile for pictures, but at least I stopped wearing flying nun collar dresses. Each of us has been made new by Christ's redemptive work on the cross and by His Spirit's continual work within us, and we are certainly changing with the years on the outside, but our faithful God is the same yesterday, today, and forever!

After a wonderful service at church in which I was dearly touched by the number of people who recognized me and took time to "visit" with me after church, including the senior pastor and his wife, it was the kids' turn for a throwback Easter picture.  They sure have changed over the past 10 years! 

We also took a some rushed family Easter pictures before the kids changed into play clothes.

The boys played Pokemon card games, and Tessa practiced her face painting skills when the kids weren't feasting, hunting eggs, or checking out all the great gifts in their Easter baskets from Nana & Pops!  What a fun day it was!

Our boy spells happiness "H-A-M"  Nana's spiral ham made him very happy!

Hallelujah!  Christ is risen indeed!  As I wrote earlier this week, the Resurrection changes everything!

Because of the Resurrection, when we are mocked, falsely accused, or slandered, we are not shaken or offended but continue to love and pray for those who oppose us.

Because of the Resurrection, when believers around the world are persecuted, even slaughtered (just yesterday in Egypt even), the gospel keeps spreading, faith keeps increasing, and the church keeps growing.

Because of the Resurrection, injuries and diseases may break the body, but they cannot break the spirit.

Because of the Resurrection, when human liberties are trampled by corrupt rulers, the soul keeps soaring freely.

Because of the Resurrection, death means “see you later” instead of “goodbye forever”.

Because of the Resurrection, thieves may steal our possessions, and injustice may take away our livelihood, but nothing can rob us of our joy.

Because of the Resurrection, the meek and lowly will be raised up, the sick will be made well, the weak revived, the lonely comforted, and the lamb will lie next to the lion in peace.

Because of the Resurrection, love wins in the end!

Because of the Resurrection, our chains have been broken, our sins are forgiven and forgotten, and we become new creations.

Because of the Resurrection, we stand firmly on the solid rock and have certain hope in that which lasts forever. 

Because of the Resurrection, there is no fear of death or condemnation for those in Christ.

Because of the Resurrection, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us to the cross, the grave, and back to life here and to Heaven again. 

Because of the Resurrection, death has been defeated, and we get to live with Him in righteousness forever, if we so choose.