A Recent Example
When I relocated to a different state to get married over ten years ago, I eventually lost touch with one of my closest friends. She served as my bridesmaid, but after my wedding (and hers that soon followed), the distance between us and busyness of life caused us to drift apart.
Our family recently decided to drive through her state on the way back from Disney World this fall, so I tried to contact her using the only email address I had for her with the hopes of planning a stop to see her, but that email address bounced. I hoped that I would eventually figure out an easy way to get her updated contact information.
The very next day after our homeschool co-op meeting, I received an "accidental email" from her. As it turns out, she had also joined Classical Conversations (CC), the same homeschool co-op we have been involved in over the past 3 years. (CC began in my home state but has spread across the U.S. and the world.) She belongs to a local CC chapter in her city. She had sent out a mass email in which she provided a memory work music resource for the geography curriculum for this cycle (all groups study the same curriculum each year with the cycles repeating every three years), and had accidentally included me on the email distribution. So, not only did we reconnect, but she also sent me a valuable resource that is very applicable for our current homeschooling studies. It was as if God knew how difficult it may have been for me to find her updated contact info, so He redirected her email to me to ensure that we connected in person next month.
More Examples
I have been a tad depressed this past week regarding the accelerated aging taking place within me. A recent skin age test indicated that I have the skin of someone 8 years older. Having my son ask me if I was born when Bible characters were still alive (see previous post) did not help any.
My back and neck pains returned this past week as my knee pains have been worsening. Walking, prolonged sitting, climbing stairs, squatting and lunging cause pain. Running is impossible. Staying active and running have been primary methods of stress management for me, so these prolonged pains have really made me feel old. I have consulted with countless doctors and physical therapists with no real signs of improvement. Last week, I took a neurospinal function test and in every category, my scores reflected the body of someone much older. Hopefully, I have now found someone who can make a difference and bring about real improvement in those scores. We test again in three months.
So, given that long introduction, today, God reminded once again that He knows my anxious thoughts.
"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts." (Psalm 139:23)I attended a mandatory training session for the wives of deacons this morning. The speaker, Ann, spoke straight to my heart as she suggested to the wives that while our role as our husband's help mate in ministry is vital, God may choose to use us individually as well.
Lately, I have been reflecting on ministry fruitfulness. I often feel like my life had more purpose and spiritual fruit as a single woman than it does now. That was a season when I could more easily devote all my time and attention to the Lord without all the distractions and busyness that comes with being a wife and a mother. While I know my new role is just as important and cherish my time discipling my children, I don't find that I have energy or time left for much ministry outside of the home after tending to the needs of my children and supporting my husband in his roles as worship leader with the praise team, life class teacher, and now, deacon. There has been a yearning inside of me to do more for the kingdom while wondering how and when I'll ever find the time.
Ann challenged us to pray for God to give us divine appointments as we go about our daily routine. She has found that by just simply making a conscious effort to speak to those around her at worship services has been a way of receiving those divine appointments. She shared several examples such as the story of Amy (not her real name). This young lady wore an expression of great despair, anxiety, and weariness. Ann invited her to a quiet place to talk. There the young woman poured out her heart and her troubles. She was single, pregnant, trying to give up a drug addiction, and unsure what she believed about God. She was homeless and helpless. Ann comforted and encouraged her, and directed her to the people in our church who can provide her with much needed counseling and material resources from our church's benevolence ministry.
As Amy was leaving, Ann noticed that Amy's tattered shoes no longer fit and were causing her great discomfort. So, Ann told her about our church's clothes "closet" and took her up to the large clothing area in search for shoes in Amy's size. Ann silently prayed for the Lord to supply shoes that would fit. When Amy saw the array of shoes, she was immediately drawn to one lovely pair in great condition. Would they fit? Amy said she wore an 8 wide. Finding such a specialty size would take a miracle, but it just so happened that the first pair Amy selected were precisely her size. Amy was blessed in a great way that day, but Ann thinks she was blessed even more. Experiencing God's miracles first hand is always so encouraging. When we commit to be a blessing to someone, we will usually receive a blessing in return.
Speaking of blessings, as each woman left the training, the deacon ministry gave her two long stemmed red roses.
With that lesson fresh in my mind, I asked the Lord to send me a divine appointment as I walked into the worship service following the training. My husband was singing with the praise team so I tried not to be too distracted by his handsome face displayed on the big screens around the worship center. When I turned my eyes away from my man to my God, I felt myself being ushered into God's presence.
After the wonderful worship time, I turned to the kind elderly gentleman seated next to me to speak a word of greeting and cheer to him. With a warm smile, he looked at me and saw the children's program's security child pick-up slips in my hand. He said, "Surely, you are not old enough to have children." He asked my age and looked at me with great surprise when I told him. I never thought I would thank the Lord for presbyopia, but age related loss of eyesight surely enabled that man to see me as a young girl instead of the middle aged woman that I am. I tried to bless him, but he gave me a blessing instead. I was reminded that I should not be worrying over the passage of time and the effects of aging. It's all relative, and it's all in God's hands. I left the worship service with renewed hope for physical healing and a renewed focus on that which is eternal.
"Lift up your eyes to the heavens, look at the earth beneath; the heavens will vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment and its inhabitants die like flies. But my salvation will last forever, my righteousness will never fail." (Isaiah 51:6)As I was reflecting on Ann's presentation and the gentleman's comment, the Lord reminded me of the prayer of Jabez. Jabez's mother choose the name "Jabez", which means "sorrow", because his birth caused her so much pain.
"Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, 'Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.' And God granted his request." (1 Chronicles 4:10)I know how difficult it is to be effective in ministry when overcome by pain. I need to pray in faith as Jabez did.
Oh gracious God, please help me to be effective in my ministry as wife and mother. In your timing and according to your will, please expand my ministry, and finally, please keep me from further injury that I might be free from pain.
Thank you, Lord, for knowing our hearts and loving us anyway.
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