Perfectionism and the pursuit of excellence

Are you a perfectionist? If not, then if you are married, the odds are great that your spouse is a perfectionist.  Perfectionism is often viewed by our culture as a positive trait, but it can have harmful ramifications. Text-book perfectionism involves excessive expectations and intangible goals which result in never feeling good enough.

Those who set unrealistic expectations on themselves or others will continually feel frustrated and disappointed.  Depression, excessive anxiety, eating disorders, anger issues, obsession with achievement or "to-do" lists, performance anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and relational struggles are common problems associated with perfectionism.  Perfectionism is often manifested through the harmful tendency to make comparisons.  When a perfectionist finds that he or she is better at something that someone else, then unhealthy pride results.  Eventually, the comparison game will devastate the perfectionist because there will always be someone who is smarter, prettier, or more successful at whatever activity is being compared.

This article (found here) describes the characteristics, causes and remedies for perfectionism and  summarizes information provided by Lizzie Branch, Ph.D. at the 2011 Whole Woman Day event.  Please read the article for insightful tips from Mrs. Branch.

1 Samuel 16:7 teaches that God doesn't judge us by our outward appearance or by our worldly achievements.  God looks at the heart.  So a good question to ask to keep perfectionism in check is, "Am I striving after this goal to glorify God or to make me feel better about myself?"

The remedy for perfectionism is understanding our infinite worth in Christ which does not change regardless of our imperfections or mistakes.  When we acknowledge our true identity in Christ (which I attempted to define in this post), we begin experiencing freedom from the bondage of perfectionism.   Only Creator God has the power to define and perfect us. 

Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.