Marriage & Parenting Snippets

This is what happens to your phone background when you ask your kid to go get your phone.

Conversing with our 8-year-old
Our boy: I'm going outside to burn holes in leaves with my magnifying glass.
Me: Okay. Have fun, honey. Just don't set the lawn on fire.
‪#‎ParentingBoys
#NoHelicopterParentingHere

Our kid: Our piano seriously needs tuning, because those D minor scales do not sound right.
His dad: Maybe it would sound more in tune if you played the right notes.
‪#‎TheArtofBlameShifting‬

Love & Marriage
One fun aspect of reaching middle age is that I've now lived long enough and made enough mistakes to be asked for advice. The love/marriage questions are some of my favorite. So here's a freebie:

Single ladies, you are probably compiling a list of qualities you hope to find in your future mate. These lists are great in that they keep us focused on the most important attributes (such as having the same belief system and common values). My mentors during my single years reminded me that instead of focusing so much on my wish list for him, I needed to work on becoming the type of woman a godly man would want to marry, so I sought wisdom and discipleship. But here's the thing...I haven't arrived yet. I am still selfish, stubborn, and sassy. And as much as we may grow and mature, marriage and children will draw out defects in our character we never even knew existed.

So, when you make your list, there is one very important item I left off my list that I would recommend putting near the top of yours. Those who have heard me gush about my husband probably assume he had every single item on my list when we got married. Nope! Not even close. (Okay, so my list was ridiculously impossible!) But he had the most important attributes and thankfully by God's grace, he had the one item I should have put up near the top. He had FORBEARANCE! That amazingly patient, long-suffering man has put up with so many of my failings over the years, yet he stands by faithfully, lovingly, even grinning playfully as I put my shortcomings on display.

Ladies, while we strive to be Proverbs 31 women, we still fail. But a strong man with forbearance will keep the ship afloat and sailing steady when unexpected trials fall upon you (they will) or when you have an emotional meltdown (I discovered those after the birth of the first child). He will love you unconditionally and never leave your side. And ladies, we owe it to them to reciprocate in showing grace and patience. Look for a man who has consistently demonstrated patience and devotion out of the strength that comes through a soul anchored in Christ.

Perspectives on Parenting

When my son was 4-years-old, he watched me mop at a frenzied pace as I was preparing for another prospective buyer to see our house with short notice. With his sparkling eyes staring at me, he said, "Mom, when you mop, it looks like you are painting. The mop is your brush, and the soapy water is your paint. Will you teach me to paint with the mop?"

What I had viewed as a dreaded chore was a beautiful form of artistic expression from his perspective. Now that he is 8, he doesn't think mopping is all that great, but I sure could use his earlier perspective as I face other forms of drudgery that must get done.

Dear Lord, when the weariness of daily duties wear us down, please remind us that when we commit our days to you, our faithfulness to even the most mundane tasks are brushstrokes on a beautiful masterpiece You are painting into the hearts of those we serve.

I'm trying to apply some of that childlike perspective. So when I went biking on the greenway right after the rain stopped, instead of lamenting over the fact that I got completely covered in mud from all the puddles everywhere, I'm telling myself that the trail was so happy to see me again that bits of it leaped up to shower me with kisses.

Bad Weather Benefits

Strong winds and rain are useful for retrieving items the kids managed to get stuck on the roof. Today the rain delivered a Nerf mega dart to our natural area. Winds recently returned our son's shoe which had been up there for over 6 months. There are probably some arrows up there as well. Does anyone else have kid treasures on the roof?

Ministry

As soon as I learned that our school could not afford to hire me to teach Stats next year, I notified a Christian camp that offers homeschool enrichment classes that I would be available in case they needed me.  I assumed that would not give me the time of day after I backed out last minute last year when our kids' school asked me to teach 12th grade math.  Little did I know they had just lost four teachers, and the director was praying about who would fill those slots next year when my email arrived.  Within a few days, I had filled out the 16 page application, gotten three references (3 pages each), and interviewed. The pay is very low, and it's about a 35 minute drive from here, but it's a chance to minister to homeschooled kids and to teach the same curriculum I will be writing for the STEM program I'm developing for our school.  Best of all, I referred a dear friend of mine who could use some part-time income as the art teacher, and they hired her.  She has a long history there, so without going into details, that extended job offer cleared up past understandings, showed God's faithfulness, is beginning to heal relationships, and may provide a chance for me to see this friend who lives an hour away more often. It's all a basket of blessings, not a loss.  While I'm still concerned about the impact of staff reductions on the students at our school, I'm thankful to have that stress removed from our family's plate.

I was amused at the enormity of the application process for such a simple part-time job in which I'll teach 1-2 hours a week maximum.  I had to write out my testimony (which is now at least eight pages typed after walking with the Lord for 37 years), how I would lead a child to Christ with Scripture verses and answer such questions as "Can a genuine believer lose his/her salvation?"  By the time I had completed 16 pages of the application, I began considering other applications I have completed.  Applications to volunteer for faith based crisis pregnancy ministries and to work part-time at a ministry-minded school weren't much shorter. Extensive background checks were also be conducted. Yet, I was hired to manage multi-million dollar projects and to handle extremely confidential, sensitive financial information with only a 3-page application and an interview or two.

Note the contrast: Big application process for no or low paying work that directly affects hearts, minds, and souls vs. short application process for high paying work involving big bucks which come and go but have no eternal value.

Budgeting & Finance
Me to the kids: I'm going to try to work fewer hours so I can have more time with you.

Kids: YAY!

Me: Would you rather have money or me?

Kids: YOU!!!!! (I'm beaming at this reply.)

Me: But that money pays for gymnastics, so we'll just cut out gymnastics. Would you rather have me or gymnastics?

Daughter: I don't want to give up gymnastics. I need time to think about that one.
(Ego shattered)

Me: Well we could cut our travel budget instead.

Son: That's okay as long as we get to go see Grandma in the summer and at Christmas.

Me: But airfare increases 2 to 3 times in July and at Christmas. We could go twice on the new budget if we went at different times of the year.

Now the kids are debating how much I should work.

Kids' Budgeting/Finance Lesson #1:
Time = Money (At least for the working middle class)