The search for balanced parenting in an entitlement culture

I have often told my kids that one of the most important and most difficult life skills they must learn is finding balance in every single area of life (money management, time management, work ethic, health, relationships, parenting styles, self image, theology, education, etc.) because landing in the ditch (far extremes) on either side of the balanced road can be devastating. The more our culture has moved toward the extreme of spoiled, entitled, helicopter parenting, the harder I resist, determined to make sure my kids know the world does not revolve around them. But as I have taken on increased responsibilities outside of the home, I have worried that maybe I am trying too hard and moving to the other ditch of negligent parenting. Heaven forbid that my kids would ever doubt my undying, unconditional, sacrifice anything for them level of love for them.

My girl balancing on a see saw next to the Sea of Galilee

Last week, I had to drop my daughter off at camp at the same time a business meeting I needed to attend began. I made sure we got there early, so she could be the first student checked into camp for a quick getaway for me. When I told her why I needed to leave so quickly, she said, "It's okay, Mom. Just tell your clients that your daughter you had to take your daughter to camp at the same time."

Then I realized (and our follow-up discussion later confirmed it) that no matter how many times I have tried to explain to her that the WORLD does not revolve AROUND her and that she must learn to be responsible for herself, she knows she means the WORLD TO ME. She also knows that God has placed ALL OF ETERNITY in her heart through His Spirit.

Forget entitlements, self-esteem, and piddly world changer ambitions. She has so much more. Through faith in Christ by God's matchless grace, she knows she has all His glorious promises (and He is 100% faithful always and forever) and an eternal inheritance with the Lord God Almighty. She is humble enough to acknowledge her hopeless standing before God without Christ, and confident enough to find all the strength, courage, and hope she could ever need in Him and knows her worth based on the price He paid for her. We weren't created to simply consume and/or influence this world, but rather, we were called to shine His light in ways that change hearts and lives in both this world and the next for all of eternity!

Perfect life balance is only found through Him who holds all the universe in balance.

Speaking of which....

Success in my career field meant helping other people become more efficient, which isn't merely doing more with less but also being more effective in everything we do. Too often, efficiency managers, especially when we try to manage our own lives, forget how important it is to rest. God tried to teach us this truth from the very beginning with the 7th day Sabbath, but we keep spinning that hamster wheel and until we crash and burn. Trust me, I know!  So to give us all permission to rest and relax, I'd like to share a quote from wise old Dr. Dobson:

 "Everyone needs to waste some time every now and then--to walk along kicking rocks and thinking pleasant thoughts."

I have not found that perfect balance yet, but I have to commend my kids.  I went from being an ambitious homeschooling mom with too much control over their education to being the slackest mom at their school. But despite never packing them lunches, rarely ever making them breakfast on school days, and never EVER helping them with homework, and pulling them out of school far too many times for family travels, I watched them grow in their ability to take responsibility for themselves. They learned how to cook, how to organize their assignments, and how to study independently, and they achieved far more on their own than they ever thought possible once their helicopter mom flew out of the way. I hope to find the right balance next year, but I thank God for teaching them personal responsibility as I adjusted to a temporarily overloaded schedule.