Father's Day 2016

I forgot to bring my camera with us to my hometown where we celebrated Father's Day, so my only pictures are low resolution cell pics.  I am thankful we could celebrate with my two favorite dads.

Happy Father's Day to our kids' favorite parent. He is our resident computer doctor, Saturday breakfast chef, walking encyclopedia, role model, teacher, protector, provider, stabilizer, and undercover superhero.

 My daddy makes me laugh and brings us all so much joy.  This is the first Father's Day in which he decided what gift he wanted and would not let me buy it. Instead he bought the golf shoes himself on Ebay (informing me that I could afford them in the stores) and then let us pay him back.  My brother's wife's gift idea for him was a hit, however. He was so curious to see how well the acorn picker worked that he ran outside and started rolling it over the front yard, despite having a bad back and needing surgery ASAP.  We just stood around a watched...as usual. :-)

We got back home just in time for me to bike to the lake as the sun began to set, and I'm thinking this sunset is the perfect gift from the perfectly Heavenly Father to all the earthly fathers who are trying their best to be loving, encouraging, faithful, supportive, teachers and role models for their children.

Her smile changed

After receiving her first consultation for braces at the end of last summer, our daughter had to wait until the beginning of this summer to finally get them because we wanted to set aside pre-tax money in our health FSA account to offset some of the high cost.  I'm so glad we did, however, because it also gave us more time to get additional consultations, and the third consultation estimated 3-6 months less time in braces and $600 less in overall costs for us. Plus, the third consultation was with a doctor whose kids go to our school and who is very generous to the school.  We like him a lot and trust him.  The kids like all his incentives for good dental hygiene as well. He's the king of prizes, and I'm happy for anything that inspires them to take better care of their teeth.  Plus, his office is closer to our house and to the kids' school.

Making Hard Decisions When God's Will Isn't Immediately Clear

I've been struggling since last March over whether or not to continue teaching STEM next year. I love the students.  I love learning.  I love the life lessons that flow from it.  I'm passionate about bringing STEM enrichment to our school and want my life to count most of all.  Teaching is fulfilling in the sense of doing something that has value, but some days I wonder what I'm doing in the classroom with no teacher training and no expertise on classroom management. All I have is a love for STEM, kids, and the STEM methodologies I employ, for the way they ignite a love for learning and appeal to non-traditional learners.  But I'm not very efficient at lesson planning, and I never know when to stop improving my lessons.  I always have that oppressive, nagging stress of having to plan the next lesson, and I rarely do anything on weekends because I'm so wrapped up in lesson planning.  I never have the sense or verbal affirmation that I am a good teacher, so I keep trying harder and harder.  The parents have expressed great gratitude for all my efforts, but that just makes me feel guilty when I consider quitting.  I'm hoping just giving up tutoring will free up more time, but the engineering job I love is taking up more and more time as well.

I struggled with guilt over enjoying my consulting/engineering job so much and fearing I was taking the easy, worldly road instead of the seemingly more fruitful road of teaching.  I'm hard on myself and tend to think I'm supposed to do whatever is the hardest instead of what is the easiest. That pattern is evident throughout my life.  Almost every decision we make for our kids has been the harder one on us but with the highest potential for long term benefit for them.

I have received some very positive feedback recently at work for modest efforts compared to the grueling efforts I put into teaching, yet teaching is such a thankless job. I spend all year begging the school to let me implement just one small change (because no one who is better equipped to do it will do it and because lack of funding is the excuse for every new idea), yet at my job where I use my strengths on a regular basis without needing to put in so much effort, I am rewarded and appreciated for nearly ever little idea I suggest.  Even so, if I am seeking the approval or man or vain flattery to stroke my ego instead of seeking only to please God, then the job is bad for my heart, bad for my pride, and not what I should be doing.

So my prayer partners have been praying with me over the decision, given that I don't feel like I can do both, or certainly not do both to my standard of excellence without my family suffering as a result.  My husband prefers that I be at the school, but during my years of teaching/tutoring, he has had to pull a lot of weight at home because I've been too busy with lesson plans and student events to take care of my duties as wife/mom.  Today, our church published a devotion I had spent over 10 hours writing last week about wives submitting to their husbands (based on Vashti & Xerxes in Esther 1), so I know I should submit to him.  Yet he hasn't insisted that I work at the school.  He just wants me to keep my focus on the kids, which is wise indeed, for they will be gone before I know it, and I don't want to miss out any opportunities to sow into their hearts.

Then a wise mentor advised me to do what brings the most fulfillment, not necessarily the most happiness.  That's tough because no matter where I work or serve, if I do it for the glory of God, then He will bring eternal fruit out of it, but I feel most fulfilled in relationships with others.  When teaching STEM, I connect in some part with the young students, but not so much with other adults, and I much prefer to work with adults where we can talk on a deeper level - applying God's truth to critical life issues, sharpening one another as iron sharpens iron. I connect more easily with adults, but I did find some of those connections with high school & college aged students, so I know I'm supposed to work with that age in some capacity at some point, be it as a bible study leader or Sunday School teacher or just being involved with athletics programs in which my kids participate.

But the connections I have at my engineering job are different, deeper, richer, and more diverse.  The practical aspects of the job make it the clear choice in the eyes of the world, and make me seem a fool to give it up, but I must always remember that man's wisdom is foolishness in the eyes of God, and God's wisdom is foolishness in the eyes of man.

¹⁸ Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise. ¹⁹ For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”; ²⁰ and again, “The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.”  (1 Corinthians 3:18-20)

This particular workplace is unlike any other with the rare benefits of a relaxed, encouraging, team building environment, flexibility to manage oneself, strong support staff, opportunity to travel across the state in a consultative role meeting people from all walks of life without going too far to necessitate an overnight stay, so I'm home with my family in the evenings, an inner circle of like minded people who meet to pray for our country and our co-workers during lunch off site, a full scale health and wellness program, fun co-workers, and potential for full-time employment when the kids are older.

When I left my career to stay home with the kids full time, I never thought I could return to my original career field, given that the industry is always changing and my technological savvy has dwindled over the years, so to have the opportunity to pick back up where I left off but with more of an engineering/process improvement focus, which is more my wheelhouse, is a miracle.  Part-time engineering jobs are few and far between, but with this job, I get to practically set my own hours, depending upon need and my own availability, so I've been averaging just under10 hours a week when most convenient for me.  It really is the perfect scenario.

Then when my husband enrolled our son in Pop Warner football (two hour practices every day) and both kids added an extra music lesson each week, I considered how much busier the kids and I will be (not just our kids but other students I had anticipated would want to take my STEM class), I sensed the number of students available to take my STEM class would be lower this year. My own son would not have the time, and he's the reason I started the program in the first place.

So, I have been discussing other options with the administration for including STEM as part of the regular school day while adding small Olympiad type clubs for the few students who cannot get enough STEM enrichment.  I committed to helping out with new programming, but I declined to continue in the all consuming role as administrator, developer, and teacher who also handled all the registrations, accounting, equipment purchasing, lab set up and clean up, marketing, facility rental, curriculum writing, etc.

My heart sunk as I considered all the fun we had last year, so I went to work today feeling conflicted.  I had shared with my prayer partners the night before about how much better my relationships have become with my children...connecting on a deeper level with more mature conversations and less drama.  One friend said, "Maybe your new job where you are being fulfilled (maybe she meant utilizing my God given strengths and bents) is affecting your attitude and the joy you experience in parenting."  Bam! I had never considered that leaving my children to go do something outside of the home could make me a better parent, but oh how I need the escape..not every day of course, but one or two days a week makes for a nice break, and I do think about my kids while I travel to/from work or client sites.  I think about ways to love them better, and I usually come home energized and happy.  When I taught at the kids' school, I came home and crashed on the couch not wanting to look at another kid until I had slept at least six hours.

Then today I had the most awesome workday. I got to travel with my favorite like-minded coworker, and we shared openly about about our fears and our faith.  Being politically minded in this day and age can certainly wreak havoc on the spirit as the truth of our nation's utter corruption and eminent demise is ugly indeed. As I drove, I shared so many treasures stored up in my heart. She didn't mind my rambling, though, for she was truly listening and ministering back to me. All the related scriptures I've memorized in the past came to remembrance and poured out, encouraging us both..  So much wisdom teachers and mentors have given me over the years, and life lessons I taught my STEM students came to mind just when we both seemed to need them most.

We talked a little about the Black Lives Matter movement and the all out assault on police officers kicking off a sort of civil war in our country during our drive.  I tried to infuse hope into every word I spoke instead of my more typical "Obama raised this terrorist organization in our own nation to destroy us" type rants. Even though I was trying to encourage her, I was actually encouraging myself in the process and being reminded of how much I need to fill my heart with God's truth to push back so much of the negativity flooding the headlines.

When we walked into the restaurant recommended by our clients, we saw two police officers in uniform sitting with a large group of people not in uniform, but we assumed if they were eating with policemen, they were supportive of men in blue, too. I told my co-worker that I wanted to buy those policemen lunch, and she was all in. On that extremely rare occasion, I actually had some cash, just two larger bills. So I asked our waitress to put one of my large bills in with the check she brought to the police officer's table and to tell them someone wanted to say thank you to the police officers for serving, but not to let them know who.  We wondered if the lady would really do it or pocket the cash. We talked like we weren't paying any attention to the police officer's table, but I think the waitress did exactly as we asked her, and she came back later, beaming about how much they appreciated it.

Then I got to thinking....those police officers and everyone at their table were white.  This town we were in seemed old school and more segregated compared to where I live where white Americans are the minority. Our waitress was black. Both my business partner and I are white. She may have assumed we only appreciate white people, so I pulled out the other bill (same amount as I gave the police officers and same amount she would have pocketed had she not been trustworthy) and added that to her usual tip with a note of thanks. My friend and I were both glowing because it just feels good to bless someone. I'm not the spontaneous Random Acts of Kindness type person, though I certainly have wanted to be more aware of ways to serve others, so this was all a God thing. 

I now have no money in my wallet, but my heart is so full. I don't actually bring home any money after paying taxes, giving tithes & offerings, and paying a nanny, so today was a net negative for me financially, but the internal blessings are immeasurable.  

Anxieties overwhelm us when we feel like we have no control over what's happening in the world and when evil seems to be grabbing little victories.  Even though we know God has won the war, the little battles sent to wake up the world to their need for Christ can make us feel beaten.   But we can make a difference, pushing back hate right where we are, simply by loving others near us with simple acts of kindness and generosity.   How can we be anxious when we just cheered up six hearts today with less than what a counseling session with therapist would cost?

All the way back we talked some more, and we both realized how much God had ministered to us both that day.  She filled my love tank, and I think God worked through me to help her. What if I had been silent about my faith as the politically correct, and many Democrats, especially Hillary Clinton, insist?  She and I never would have connected on a heart level or been able to share spiritual truths in a way that will mold our hearts not just for now but for eternity.

After work I wrote out the following notes and quotes to share with her so we can both use them as reference when either of us grow anxious or weary of the world.

The world may be broken, but He restores my soul.  The world is filled with evil and corruption, but He leads His people along paths of righteousness! (Psalm 23:2-3)

Violence and wars rage around us, but He is our peace. (Isaiah 9:6, Micah 5:5, John 16:33a)

Evil seems to be winning the current battles, but He has won the war. He has overcome the world. (John 16:33b)

Trials befall us; loved ones leave us, friends betray us; and injustices overwhelm us, but God's love never ceases and His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness! (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Rebounding Video: Imagine you are the top tennis ball, supportive like-minded friends could be the middle ball, and Christ is the basketball. 

Consider Daniel and Joseph who went from imprisonment or captive slave to second in command in pagan nations.   Mordecai is another example with some great humor to enjoy when you consider all the many instances of irony for proud Haman.  Ruth, Job, and Jonah have great rebound stories too.Any hardship or suffering we face will enable us to soar higher than we ever were before. Believe it. Claim it. See also Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." -John 10:10 -NASB

(Note:  Just because Satan wants to kill and destroy does not mean that God will stop giving us abundant life.  Christ has already won the victory, and nothing can snatch us out of his hands, so we much choose to live in the knowledge of that truth.  We have to let the thief steal our joy.  God doesn't give the spoils back to the defeated one.  That's our choice.)

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 

(IOW, Satan may seem to win a few battles, but God has already won the war!)

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." - Philippians 4:8

(Note: Push out negative thoughts by filling your heart with positive truth - then there isn't any room for negativity.  God gives us lots of armor in Ephesians 6 but, he gives us one offensive weapon, the sword of truth or His WORD.  Conquer anxious thoughts with upper cuts, jabs, and thrusts of that might sword.)               

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."  - Philippians 4:13

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength." Corrie Ten Boom

"I counted dollars while God counted crosses
I counted gain while He counted losses.
I counted my worth by the things gained in store,
But He sized me up by the scars that I bore.
I coveted honors, and sought for degrees.
He wept as He counted the hours on my knees.
I never knew till one day by a grave,
How vain are the things that we spend life to save.
I did not yet know, 'til a Friend from above,
Said richest is he who is rich in God's love."
(Author unknown) 

[My note - nothing we lose here on earth really matters in the big picture - it's all a blip on the timeline of eternity.]

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." (1 Corinthians 4:17)

“Please help me not to be so busy making a living, I forget to make a life.” 

When I came home after that awesome work day, still riding the buzz brought the random acts of kindness, I came into the kitchen to find the kids working together...on their own initiative...happily preparing one of my favorite meals from scratch for dinner so I would not have to cook after a long but fruitful work day. Random acts of kindness are contagious and bring healing to the soul, so let's keep the RAK virus spreading across America where it is needed most.

Parenting Discovery: If kids see what you deem as a chore as a form of creative play and the decision to do that task is their own idea with the freedom to make whatever they want instead of being told to cook something you specify for dinner, then it isn't a chore they complain about, but rather, a fun project to enjoy - TOGETHER! 

The War Against Evil

Consider this quote by Beth Moore in light of current events:

"Because Satan has a limited leash where believers are concerned, his most powerful tactics are psychological. Though he can't possess our minds, he profoundly and destructively influences our thoughts."

The enemy wants to rob us of joy by taunting us with futile speculations and fear, but we can battle psychological warfare with the truth. While we are called to hate evil, but we must not fear it.

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4)

Thus, I can confidently claim God's promises as we navigate a dark, dying, and corrupt world:

The world may be broken, but He restores my soul. The world is filled with evil and corruption, but He leads His people along paths of righteousness! (Psalm 23:2-3)

Violence and wars rage around us, but He is our peace. (Isaiah 9:6, Micah 5:5, John 16:33a)
Evil seems to be winning the current battles, but He has won the war. He has overcome the world. (John 16:33b)

Trials befall us; loved ones leave us, friends betray us; and injustices overwhelm us, but God's love never ceases and His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness! (Lamentations 3:22-23)

And God is certainly moving in the darkest corners of the earth where missionary friends of ours serve with courage, humility, and unmatched faith.  I'm also encouraged to see what God will do with the students graduating from our school.  They will surely do some battle with the evil forces on earth.  Four of our graduates are coming back to our school to teach next year so as to continue building disciples to stand for truth and God's righteousness in this dark world.  It was so encouraging to attend our school's graduation again this year. One of our state supreme court justices who is extremely devoted to God, family, country, and ministering to the next generation and whom I respect tremendously spoke at our graduation ceremony, but I think he was as impressed with the students' speeches as we were with him and his speech.  Our school just graduated a large army of light bearers who are filled with wisdom from on high, absolute truth, impeccable integrity, humility, courage, and faith. They will be pushing back some serious darkness; just you wait and see.

While contemplating the very real and tangible war against evil in our country, I came across this article which is a great resource.
Why Hell Exists
http://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/why-hell-exists

Stream of Consiousness Ramblings: What is Love?

As the amount of hatred dominating headlines escalates out of control, I've been thinking about what love really is, given that hatred is the absence of love, just as darkness is the absence of light.  Our cultured tried to kick God out decades ago, so if God is love, it should come as no surprise that our culture is void of real and lasting love. To complicate matters, people can't seem to agree on what real love truly means. I've had some really good talks about current events and the expression of love with my daughter lately. 

My favorite parenting stage so far has been adolescence. I love that my daughter is at an age now where we can discuss or debate philosophical ideas using our own perceptions with a thoughtful respect for each opinion instead of me telling her what or how to view a situation, for she has a different personality and different set of spiritual gifts and is old enough to seek the Lord on her own for answers while challenging me in my own views.  It's so refreshing to see her tackling issues on her own, seeking the Lord for answers herself instead of letting me define right and wrong for her.  Now is the time when she gets to really own her faith, asking the Lord tough questions, seeking His word with prayer for guidance while still feeling the freedom to consult with me.  We still set firm boundaries for her, but the more she learns to let God lead her, the safer she will be. And the more she understands for herself why she believes what she believes, having experienced the Lord for herself, the stronger she will be when every media, university, and cultural voice tells her the opposite.  The degree to which students are indoctrinated is mind boggling, and I could not believe what I was hearing was true until I tried to have a civil, intellectual conversations with young people over something more removed from us as Brexit, much less heated issues closer to home.  They cannot think at all.  They can only feel.  Logic, reason, critical thinking are all absent from the minds of students coming out of universities today, although they can manage to memorize the insane lists of offensive terms forbidden on campus.  Free exchange of ideas is absent on campus anymore.  You either say what the regressive liberals want you to say or you shut up and get out.  Anyway, I digress....but knowing what my daughter is up against, and how disappointed she will be when she can't have an intellectual thoughtful discussion with anyone her age except those who came from classical schools or strong Christian families, I am relieved to see her engaging her mind and seeking the Lord for wisdom in a world of folly at only 12 years of age.  She'll be a force to reckon with when she graduates, I pray.

While my personality profile is strong on critical thinking, fact finding, defending absolute truth, and fighting for justice, she has enough mercy to make up for what is lacking in her mother, father, and brother combined. She is better at empathizing with the feelings of others, so I was curious to hear her definition of love. She quoted 1 Corinthians 13 to me, which is certainly a very good place to start.

 ^" If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵ or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶ it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.⁸ Love never ends." (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)

What does love look like for something coming from a secular belief system?  If we are to tear down walls of bigotry and hatred, we need to understand each other better.  And we especially need to agree on what real love is, or at least understand the different definitions.

I take my definition from John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." Love is sacrifice, and I see Jesus' work on the cross as the greatest picture of love. So for me, love is a daily laying down of one's own comfort and forfeiting one's own desires for the betterment of another. For example, instead of letting my kids watch TV or play computer games all day, we have strict controls over what they watch and how long they watch it. We pay dearly for monitoring systems and sacrifice the convenience of free baby sitting screens provide to keep this limit enforced. We risk losing our kids' favor, and they do get mad at us when we remove screen privileges when they abuse them, but it's for their long term good. If I have a friend who I know is struggling with alcoholism and that friend wants me to join her at the bar  to celebrate her birthday, I will recommend another venue  (even if I had not chosen for myself to be a teetotaler for my own protection - cue Romans 14- not saying I would impose that man-made rule on anyone else, but I would highly encourage it for anyone with a history of alcoholism or addictive personality). When the time seems right, I would firmly but kindly confront her and help her get professional help. If I see a friend headed down any dangerous path, I will say the hard thing with as much grace as I can muster because I am willing to risk having someone not like me to save that person from destruction.

If I refuse to endorse or approve of someone's behavior, I am in no way suggesting that I think I am any better, nor am I ever implying I do not accept that person who was made in the image of God just like everyone else. I have my own struggles and expect a true friend to boldly confront me, helping me make choices that bring life, healing, and righteousness instead of accepting my poor choices out of a desire to be liked. I don't define people by their behaviors or choices just as I hope others don't define me by my worst behaviors or poorest decisions. According to my understanding of real love, it is terribly selfish to let someone destroy themselves out of fear you may offend them and then they may not like you. Love that approves of what is harmful is not love for anyone but yourself.  1 Corinthians 13:6 does say that love does not rejoice in wrongdoing, so given that fornication of any kind (pre-marital sex, adultery, or homosexualtiy) are clearly and repeatedly labeled as abominations to God, I cannot rejoice over a ruling legalizing gay marriage.  But love doesn't boast of being holier than thou or utter rude comments either.

I don't agree with all the choices any of my closest loved ones have made, and I certainly don't approve of the mistakes I've made in the past, but I am not defined by my mistakes, nor do I define others by theirs. I love them regardless. Love, to me, is unconditional, and irrespective of choices, but real love will risk everything (even offending someone) to protect and save the beloved one.

A more prevailing view on love in secular society is that to disapprove of even one behavior or lifestyle is not to love the person at all. That belief was central to the media wars against Chick-fil-a when they stood for traditional marriage. Yet CFA has sacrificed and served the gay community is many ways, like when they fed all the people in line in to give blood to save the victims from the Orlando shooting, to show they still love them, but for those who define love as accepting certain immoral though culturally in vogue behaviors, CFA will always be accused of hatred.

While intending no disrespect toward those who hold a different view of love, I do hope that someday, those who hold a secular view of love can at least understand that our view, while difficult to hear at times, is motivated out of love, or it should be. We mess up and say things we shouldn't when we speak from the flesh instead of being led by the Spirit of God, but I regularly ask myself these questions before I speak out.

Is it better to have lots of friends, having neither offended nor helped anyone, or to have only a few friends after spending your life helping others find spiritual freedom and climb to a better place?  What good is it to have 1000 people at my funeral if I reach heaven having never obeyed the last command Jesus gave his followers before His ascension?  The Great Commission had to be important if it was the last command Jesus gave making it one they could not forget.  He wasn't speaking to an audience of seminary graduates, ordained, and on staff with a megachurch. He was speaking to all his followers then and to you and to me now.

¹⁹ Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”  (Matthew 28:19-20)

If I'm not sharing the gospel with others, teaching others His precepts, or helping others grow more mature in their faith for His Glory, then what is the point of my life?  If I'm only using my one and only life on earth to make others feel better here without any thought of eternity, then I've squandered my time on earth.  If I'm only saying what people want to hear so they will like me instead of saying what they need to hear to point them to Jesus, regardless of what they think of me, then I am only in love with myself.  If, however, I am faithful to whatever God has called me to do, and if I maintain an eternal perspective that compels me to lead others to Christ and to His righteousness with a humble, grateful heart and kind words filled with uncompromising truth no matter how they may reject me, persecute me, or isolate me, then I have lived a fruitful life. That's my take on love.

But with so many different love languages and definitions of love, how do we communicate love in a way all will receive it so as to build unity?  I don't want to build walls, but I can't let someone destroy themselves either.  Throughout my life, I'm sure I've built plenty of walls, but when someone wanted strength and truth, they have come to me.  I pray I can also give them kindness and mercy and compassion when they need that as well, but I know I err on the side of proclaiming God's word as absolute truth, and that may sound judgmental.  Thankfully the body of Christ is filled with those who overflow with mercy and goodness, gentleness and compassion (my daughter is one).  While continuing to do some serious work on my heart in those areas, I trust my almighty God to lead  seekers to those in the Body of Christ who can best glorify God in ministering to their point of need.

Here is another passage describing love in action:

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." (Romans 12:9-16)

How do I rejoice with those who rejoice if they are rejoicing in wrongdoing?   The context is set by the verses preceding it which instruct us to hate what is evil and cling to what is good.  Context is important here, and God would never rejoice in evil, so neither must we.  But we do need to keep any spiritual pride grounded by bowing at his feet, considering God's holiness compared to our worthless deeds, if we are to love in ways others can receive it.

"The problem with the liberal Christian is that he wants to downplay the existence of evil. Don't ask me to show compassion toward the evildoer if you refuse to acknowledge and condemn the evil. Downplaying evil does not make you my moral superior. It just makes you someone else's naive enabler."  (Mike Adams)

Critter Chronicles Summer 2016

My husband's cat may have a cool name, but Orwell is evil.That malicious cat has torn up everything in this house.  Our last living room sofa is shredded.  The brand new 100% genuine leather recliner?  Ruined.  All 10 leather bar stools for our kitchen and porch and the two very nice bucket set leather chair in the music room are all scratched.  Every single carpeted door jam or carpet edging is pulled up and severed from the mat underneath.  Thousands of dollars worth of area rugs for the new house are ruined. I'm scared to look at the new sectional upstairs or at any of the window treatments.  The stairs are also ruined.  Fur balls everywhere are so minor and can be cleaned up, but when I consider how much time I spent buying those items...searching all over the world via the internet...agonizing over what to buy - taking somethings back...hauling that stuff into the house only to have a wild stray cat destroy it.  He even scratched up the new windows in our brand new over the top long dreamed for porch.

I suggested declawing or  tendon snipping more than once, but my husband would not hear of it.  Whenever the subject comes up, Orwell hides his claws from me as if he knows what I'm saying.

I found the cat another home, but the kids were not having it.  We've spend hundreds, maybe thousands on cat trees, sprays, tape, oils, horns, every gizmo under the sun.

When we replaced the sofa in the living room, we wrapped the sticky tape stuff around it and put a shock mat behind it.  That seemed to work until the battery died.

 

We recently bought soft claws for him, and this was the look on his face following the application of his false nail tips.

 

My husband sang for dignitaries around the world for 4 years with the USNA Glee Club. He sang to me when we dated, at our wedding, and for years after. He sang with the praise team at church for 14 years. All that was just a warm-up or prelude for his new gig which involves cradling, rocking, and singing "Rock-a-bye, Baby" to his sinister kitty every night.

Our daughter coddles his lazy, entitled, spoiled rotten, good-for-nothing self, too.

Muffin has resumed her title as athletic trainer.  She sprawls out in the fitness room when I'm working out, staring at me directly or through the mirror with a look that says, "Work harder, you wimp!" all the while sporting her double chin and fat/fluffy body.  Today, she hopped on my back while I was doing push-ups as if to add weight and make me push harder.

Muffin also taught me the following lesson:
If a phone is left on the floor of the workout room while Muffin is getting exercise, she will hop on the redial button. Sorry to our doctor's receptionist for all the prank calls.

Muffin has been a cute companion during my Bible study times as well.

Orwell, on the other hand, does not help me at all during Bible study.

 

At least the silly cat has some really funny sleeping positions to keep me amused.  I have captured a few below, but sleeping curled up in any of the kids' sinks is one of the cutest.  No pictures, though.

Under the dishwasher?

Landscaping: What's in Bloom

When we asked our landscaper to plant Rose of Sharon in front of my workout room window a few weeks ago, I had hoped the blooms would be lavender, a color which is supposed to represent "love at first sight" or "enchantment" (apropos given our love story). Instead the blooms are white ("purity", "loyalty") and deep pink ("gratitude"). Apparently, what I most needed was a regular reminder to be grateful for God's faithfulness and righteousness which purifies even the darkest hearts and helps us remain loyal to God and to each other. Here's the first bloom of the season right before we left for our anniversary trip with hundreds of buds preparing to bust open.

Here's what the shrub looked like when we returned home two days later.

 

Our landscaper added removed poorly growing wax myrtles and planted a lot of new trees and shrubs along the fence, but I wasn't expecting any of them to bloom right away given the stress of transplanting them. The crepe myrtles surprised me by blooming last week.  The crepe myrtles in the front of the house planted in December of 2013 by the builder's crew haven't bloomed once yet, but these are so tall.  I love the color. 

A very loud, very annoying bird whose cries sound like metal clanking built a nest in the large holly we had planted right outside the fitness room window where I can look out while on the elliptical.  Soon, baby birds will be adding their voices to the annoying  racket outside my window.

Balancing Christian Virtue

This one image sums up an entire theological library and most of the struggles in the church.

Five years of prayers answered

With an overloaded and overwhelming schedule, I had seriously skimped on sleep to get "stuff done" for four days in a row until my cognitive abilities were suffering. Yet, on May 9, despite being faithless in the wise stewardship of my body and despite being completely out of it mentally and emotionally as a result, God not only kept my kids and me safe on the roads as I drove.  In addition, He delivered an answer to a prayer request I've had on my heart for five years (especially recently as I have shared it with others) regarding a deep desire within in for our son to decide on his own to be baptized in obedience and as a testimony to others of God's redemptive work in his life.  He's shy, however, and did not want to stand up in front of the entire church to give his testimony, so bashfulness had held him back from being obedient, and I wasn't about to push him.

Since I was so tired, I decided to play a book on tape while I drove to keep me alert.  I've fallen asleep at the wheel before, so I'll do most anything to make sure I am alert driving when my kids are in the car especially. The only CD  I had with me was a Christian novel written for adults.  While the themes are Christian, I try to avoid adult themes when little ones are in the car, but desperate times call for desperate measures, so I played it.

Marcus Dillinger, the hero of the story, an MVP pro baseball player and pitcher for the World Series winning Dodgers, accepted Christ as Lord and Savior during the portion of the story my son heard. Then he immediately chose to be baptized, and the story explains why that is so important.

At this point in the story, I had just pulled into our garage and was ready to exit the van when my son asked to keep listening.  So we sat in the van listening until the baptism was complete. I prayed and cried a little as he listened.  Then he told me he wanted to get baptized at the lake at a camp with our church family.  

And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. ³⁹ For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.” (Acts 2:38-39)

He met with the children's ministry director at Starbuck's a few weeks later, and even though it had been five years since he accepted Christ as Lord and Savior, he told her every little detail of his salvation story (even telling her how the conversation started when I was sneaking ground flax into his cereal as I did every morning because I was a health nut back then).  He is now on the church schedule to be baptized.

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  (Romans 10:9)

It floors me how just after I had shared my desire for him to be baptized with others (but not with him as it needs be his choice) and despite my own sinful neglect of my body by repeatedly prioritizing my to-do list over sleep, God worked the consequences of my sin together for good (Romans 8:28).  Through my sleepiness, my son heard the CD that would prompt his decision to be baptized. Only God can do that! 

Who of us would still be alive today and in a relationship with Him were it not for the countless incidents of his mercy and grace all around us, mostly unrecognized? He loves so much despite ourselves.

"If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself." (2 Timothy 2:13)

The search for balanced parenting in an entitlement culture

I have often told my kids that one of the most important and most difficult life skills they must learn is finding balance in every single area of life (money management, time management, work ethic, health, relationships, parenting styles, self image, theology, education, etc.) because landing in the ditch (far extremes) on either side of the balanced road can be devastating. The more our culture has moved toward the extreme of spoiled, entitled, helicopter parenting, the harder I resist, determined to make sure my kids know the world does not revolve around them. But as I have taken on increased responsibilities outside of the home, I have worried that maybe I am trying too hard and moving to the other ditch of negligent parenting. Heaven forbid that my kids would ever doubt my undying, unconditional, sacrifice anything for them level of love for them.

My girl balancing on a see saw next to the Sea of Galilee

Last week, I had to drop my daughter off at camp at the same time a business meeting I needed to attend began. I made sure we got there early, so she could be the first student checked into camp for a quick getaway for me. When I told her why I needed to leave so quickly, she said, "It's okay, Mom. Just tell your clients that your daughter you had to take your daughter to camp at the same time."

Then I realized (and our follow-up discussion later confirmed it) that no matter how many times I have tried to explain to her that the WORLD does not revolve AROUND her and that she must learn to be responsible for herself, she knows she means the WORLD TO ME. She also knows that God has placed ALL OF ETERNITY in her heart through His Spirit.

Forget entitlements, self-esteem, and piddly world changer ambitions. She has so much more. Through faith in Christ by God's matchless grace, she knows she has all His glorious promises (and He is 100% faithful always and forever) and an eternal inheritance with the Lord God Almighty. She is humble enough to acknowledge her hopeless standing before God without Christ, and confident enough to find all the strength, courage, and hope she could ever need in Him and knows her worth based on the price He paid for her. We weren't created to simply consume and/or influence this world, but rather, we were called to shine His light in ways that change hearts and lives in both this world and the next for all of eternity!

Perfect life balance is only found through Him who holds all the universe in balance.

Speaking of which....

Success in my career field meant helping other people become more efficient, which isn't merely doing more with less but also being more effective in everything we do. Too often, efficiency managers, especially when we try to manage our own lives, forget how important it is to rest. God tried to teach us this truth from the very beginning with the 7th day Sabbath, but we keep spinning that hamster wheel and until we crash and burn. Trust me, I know!  So to give us all permission to rest and relax, I'd like to share a quote from wise old Dr. Dobson:

 "Everyone needs to waste some time every now and then--to walk along kicking rocks and thinking pleasant thoughts."

I have not found that perfect balance yet, but I have to commend my kids.  I went from being an ambitious homeschooling mom with too much control over their education to being the slackest mom at their school. But despite never packing them lunches, rarely ever making them breakfast on school days, and never EVER helping them with homework, and pulling them out of school far too many times for family travels, I watched them grow in their ability to take responsibility for themselves. They learned how to cook, how to organize their assignments, and how to study independently, and they achieved far more on their own than they ever thought possible once their helicopter mom flew out of the way. I hope to find the right balance next year, but I thank God for teaching them personal responsibility as I adjusted to a temporarily overloaded schedule.