Our love story (part 3): The most difficult part

^"And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul"  (Deuteronomy 10:12)

My favorite midshipman planned to visit me at my university during a brief school break during the fall of my sophomore year.  He took the train, and I met him at the depot. I don't remember much at all from that weekend except for the oppressive burden I felt to put an end to romantic intentions for our relationship.

This break-up was not typical at all.  We had not grown bored with one another, nor had we lost interest in each other (oh no!).  We had not wronged each other.  There was no hurt, bitterness, or anger. I had not found someone else I liked better.  I was completely smitten with this fellow.

However, the timing was terrible, and the Lord had set before me a choice to obey Him by putting Him first or to follow after my own desires instead.  I could see why the circumstances and timing made it difficult to continue dating this young man, but the primary reason I went through with the break-up was because I loved God more and wanted to be obedient to Him.

In retrospect, I can see how necessary it was for us to separate at that time.  I needed to understand my relationship as Christ's bride so that through earthly marriage, I could reflect the unconditional love relationship God intends to have with His people.  I needed to find all my satisfaction and wholeness in Christ alone before I could have a healthy marriage.  Otherwise, I would have expected my husband to satisfy those needs that only God can fulfill.  I also needed time to "sow my oats" which for me was not immoral living, but rather, experiencing freedom and independence, traveling extensively, pursuing a rewarding career, assisting with church planting, building my first house, volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center, checking off items on my bucket list, running competitively, and discovering more about myself.  Had I not had these experiences and developed the friendships that were formed during those single years, I think I would have carried regret or longing into the marriage.

In short, we both needed time to grow up and become the man and woman we each needed to be before we could have a healthy, Christ honoring marriage.  We loved each other enough to let go of one another so that God could mold us according to His perfect plan.

My favorite midshipman understood when I shared my burden with him, but I was tormented when I imagined the sea of ladies in Annapolis who were probably waiting in line to spend time with him.  I had hoped that we could continue our friendship, but he thought it best to cut off communication with one another entirely.   When I had agreed to obey the Lord in this matter, I had agreed to give up the romantic aspect of the relationship, but I was not prepared to give up the relationship completely. I could not hold back tears as the train took him back to Maryland.

To be continued...

Click here to continue to part 4.
To go back to the beginning of this love story, click here.