Picking up from where I left off in my previous post, DC had just left for Oklahoma where he would be spending the next few weeks with his family before beginning his new job near the east coast. We had just had the most amazing weekend together and hoped our relationship could actually go somewhere this time. After he left, my brain began functioning more normally again, and then I saw all the obstacles between us. He would be living in a different state, so if we were to progress in our relationship, someone would need to relocate. I couldn't move because I had a major project to finish at work, a graduate degree to complete, precious friends and a dear church I could not bear to leave, a seminary course to finish, and a house to sell. He wasn't settled at all, but he had chosen this job out of a slew of other opportunities, and this was the job he wanted. However, this time, I did not see any red flags from the Lord. DC was getting out of the navy, so he would not be gone for months and years at a time. We might actually have the chance to get to know each other in all seasons. I felt enough peace in my heart to ignore some of the practical matters long enough to see what might happen. Still, having been told "no" to this relationship so many times before, I determined to proceed with great caution and would not commit to a serious relationship yet.
Over the next week, we emailed one another constantly. I had to schedule a business trip to Houston the following week. Since I would be closer to Oklahoma during that trip, I started checking airline pricing. When I had flown to Reno on business, it was so much cheaper for me to fly home on Sunday instead of Friday that the company paid for my hotel, car, and meals for Friday and Saturday and still saved several hundred dollars compared to what they would have paid had I flown home on Friday. So, I thought I would try that trick again. Sure enough, it was cheaper for the company to buy me a plane ticket to fly from Houston to DC's family's house and back and then have me fly home on Memorial Day than it would have been for me to just fly home on Friday when my work was done. So, I traveled from Houston to Jeff's family's house in OK at my employer's expense. He had won my parents' favor over eight years ago. Now it was time for me to meet his family.
I wasn't sure what to expect. I had only traveled to one city in Oklahoma a few times on business. I felt like I had entered a totally different country and culture when I first visited that city in southwest Oklahoma. On my first trip, I quickly learned that I should choose a pick-up truck as my rental vehicle for the week and that if my trips to that location continue, I really needed to invest in some cowboy boots and buckles. That quaint town was a dust bowl with nary a tree in sight. Waitresses I spoke to had never left the county limits. It was like a step back in time.
DC grew up on the other side of Oklahoma, and he assured me it was different from what I had seen on my business trips. Even now, my husband refuses to don a boot or a buckle, much less drive a pick-up. His parents were living on top of a beautiful hill overlooking the nearby city. Unlike what I had seen in western Oklahoma, there were plenty of rolling hills and trees (albeit shorter trees).
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| Trees in Oklahoma |
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| Swinging at a park in a small Oklahoma town |
That trip to Oklahoma to meet his parents was a huge catapult for our relationship. When I learned that his father had been an avid runner and marathoner, I felt at home. Like me, his mother has a passion for ministering to women in crisis pregnancy situations and had also volunteered at crisis pregnancy centers. Despite the fact that DC had been away from home for most of the past nine years, he seemed incredibly close to his family, and I could tell that they go to great lengths to spend time together. His family welcomed me with wonderful kindness and hospitality. I could tell that they cared deeply for one another and for others. His brothers reminded me of my own brother with all their fun hilarity. What struck me most during that trip was the way DC's father treated DC's mother and the way DC's married brother treated his wife. I then knew that DC came from a home where devotion to God, marriage, and family were modeled and valued. That trip sealed the deal for me. I was ready to commit to a relationship with DC.
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| DC with his marine brother & niece |
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| Memorial Day 2000: His last day in uniform |
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