Our love story (part 4): Silence

The next few months after my favorite midshipman's departure from my life are a blur.  Those who know how much I like to talk will know that getting me to stop communicating with anyone is difficult, but cutting off communication with someone I cared about so deeply seemed impossible.  So, I threw myself into my studies and into fellowship with like-minded friends.  Life went on and became quite fulfilling for me.  Most importantly, I sought the Lord more passionately and devoted myself to the study of the Scriptures.

The following photos show a sampling of the friends I would like to thank for their powerful positive influence in my life throughout those formative college years and especially after I said good-bye to my favorite midshipman.

During Christmas break of that same year, Curly returned to our hometown and hosted a holiday party as was his custom.  Gregarious and confident, he suggested that his guests watch a VHS recording of the "Christmas in Washington" show that had aired on TV since he had sung with the USNA Glee Club at the event that year.  During the Glee Club performance, the TV cameras zoomed in on the midshipmen, dressed in their dazzling formal white uniforms.  The camera scanned the front row from right to left and zoomed in even closer for a moment on the tenor standing at the end of the front row.  I could hardly bear to watch that close-up shot of that tenor who also happened to be my favorite midshipman.  Chills ran over me, and I felt sick.

Since I couldn't communicate with my favorite midshipman anymore, I asked Curly about him.  Curly and my favorite midshipman began singing together in a quintet called "Those Guys" and became good friends.  "Those Guys" crooned classic hits that evoked lots of wild applause from female audiences.  At one concert, a female fan started calling my favorite midshipman "DC" which was short for "Dangerously Cute", and that nickname stuck with him for the remainder of his college days.  They even engraved the initials DC into the name badge on his uniform.  Hearing Curly's exaggerated tales provoked a spiritual battle within me against the green monster, but at least I now have a shorter code name for my favorite midshipman.  Henceforth, I shall refer to him as DC. 

Viewing that video broke me, and I just had to write DC one more letter to break the silence that had existed between us since that last farewell at the train depot.  In my letter, I simply told him that I had seen him on TV singing for the U.S. president in Washington, DC and felt compelled to write.  I told him that I had been praying for him and would always care for him.  I told him how much I wished that we could have only met nine years later after he had completed his military obligation.  (This letter is an important detail in our story.)

I don't remember whether he wrote me back, but he seems to recall that he did respond with a short note.  We did not communicate again during the remainder of our college days.  I would always ask Curly about him when I would see him back home over holiday breaks.  Curly usually had an exaggerated story to tell, and he would take an equally exaggerated story about me back to DC.  Curly was our only regular means of communication, and I never knew whether or not to believe what he told me.  Later, I learned that DC had made more trips back to the area near my university and my hometown with Curly without my knowledge.

I continued to seek the Lord and plowed through tough course loads while being blessed beyond measure by the close and edifying friendships I had at school.  These friendships and intimate times with the Lord helped prepare me for an exceptionally challenging summer internship in Albany, GA when the 500 year flood of 1994 devastated the city.  I am immensely grateful for the spiritual nurture I found at Sherwood Baptist Church (home of Sherwood Pictures, producers of great movies like Facing the Giants and Fireproof), during that especially difficult time.  Much growth needed to take place in my life, and God orchestrated events and relationships to mold me through my years of singleness.

Through a series of relationships and a focused journey through Scriptures, the Lord began to paint a picture for me of what I should look for in a husband.  Even more importantly, He also kept bringing me back to Proverbs 31 which presents the perfect ideal (unattainable, but worth pursuing) of a virtuous wife.  Instead of seeking Mr. Right, I needed to focus on allowing God to mold me into a woman who could become a wife worth having.

During the following years, God gave me a gift for evangelism that, when used in His power, gave me a new level of joy like I had never known before.  Had I been wrapped up in a serious long distance relationship, I don't think I would have been able to see people or their needs like I could as a single woman.

....An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.  (1 Corinthians 7:34)

This passage is difficult to interpret, but I did experience the truth that it is easier to focus on the Lord and His work while single.  Marriage can be a wonderful growth experience and a powerful ministry as well, but I wanted my season of singleness to be used for eternal work instead of spending those precious years pining away for a husband.

I found meaning and purpose in life and no longer felt like I always had to have a suitor beside me to complete my self image.  I still dreamed about married life and longed to find my Prince Charming some day, but my perspective on the purpose of marriage and singleness was changing.  I still kept a photo of DC on my desk, and I continued to pray for him.

Even if I had torn up DC's photo and tried to forget him, I simply could not forget him.  Almost every guy I dated during college had some connection to the military.  I attended military formals with ROTC Navy and ROTC Air Force guys while privately wishing I was attending a ball at the USNA with DC.   I began to wonder if I was destined to become a military wife, stuck at home while her husband travels for months and years on deployments.  Women who do that have my utmost respect and gratitude, but I feared and dreaded such a scenario for myself.   Apparently, we just were not meant to be together.  I kept asking myself, "Why, then, did he have to enter my life in the first place?"

In 1995, both DC and I graduated with Bachelor of Science degrees.  I moved to Alabama temporarily for intense lean manufacturing training for my new job before residing more permanently near my employer's North American headquarters in South Carolina. I learned from Curly that DC was headed to Orlando, Florida for nuclear power training as a submarine naval officer.  Curly was moving on to flight school, so he would no longer be able to give me updates on DC.

I had already made plans to visit Orlando, FL that summer to visit a college friend who had taken a job there.  I do not remember how I got DC's contact information, but I did call him out of the blue to see if he would like to join us for dinner and perhaps a day at Universal Studios while I was in Orlando.  He agreed to meet us and ended up spending every day I was there with me.

Touring Kennedy Space Center with DC

DC joined some friends and me for dinner in Orlando

While I still found DC to be attractive, that same uneasy feeling I had begun to experience near the end of our beach trip together in 1992 stayed with me during my entire visit with him in Orlando.  I think the feeling was mutual.  We parted more easily this time.  We did not communicate much after that visit, but I did send him a Christmas card at the end of that year.  I foolishly wrote on the card that I had found the man I would soon marry.  All communication ceased when he received that card.  While I had been exchanging letters with a man I thought I would marry, that man did not feel the same way about me.  I should have known he wasn't "the one" because his closest connection to the military was a brother who served as a military chaplain, and I just knew I was destined to marry a military man!  What had I done?

DC finished his training in Orlando and then moved to Charleston, SC about the same time I moved to South Carolina with my job.  We were living geographically closer than ever before, but we did not communicate at all during that time.  We were convinced that our love story had ended.
 
Hallelujah, this story will be continued....

Click here to continue to part 5. 
To go back to the beginning of this love story, click here.