My very unexpected career change

While my husband was back in his home state for a significant reunion, I decided to take the kids to the beach.  I hoped that the fun diversion would make the time go by faster as we waited for his blessed return.

I was thrilled when I discovered that my college roommate could join us at the beach.  I treasure her friendship and especially appreciate that we both were there for one another when we each first met our respective husbands.  I first met this former roommate, a feisty redhead, during my senior year in high school.  We were both goal-oriented students vying for the top scholarships at the university we would be attending.  We were from the same area, but we attended different high schools.  We both had huge career aspirations and a "conquer the world" mentality. We also both shared a deep love for the Lord.  So, when we learned that we would both be Merit Award Scholars living in the scholar's dorm, we decided to share a dorm room.   We shared many laughs and significant milestones together as roommates.

While sitting in our beach chairs this past weekend, we enjoyed some delightful conversation.  She and her husband (who had lived just a few doors down from us in the same dormitory) both chuckled as they pondered the reality that someone like me could now be a stay-at-home mom, much less a HOMESCHOOLING mom.  They remember what an ambitious, high-strung, intense student I had been and recall that I did not exactly exude patience.

My former roommate is now a high ranking prosecuting attorney who God is using to rescue ill-treated children from vile perpetrators.  God has placed this gifted, intellectual woman in a job where the work is exceptionally difficult but the rewards are eternal.  She seemed curious as to how someone like me, who had dreamed of an exciting executive career, could be content to remain at home where patience is a much needed virtue.

Several years ago, I asked myself that same question as I wrestled with God's calling for me to stay home with the children.  At times, I felt like a total failure, especially when I saw how naturally parenting came to other stay-at-home moms who had been teachers or social workers and who had always planned to stay home with their children.  So, I especially appreciated spending time with this former roommate who really seemed to understand me and my contradiction.

I expressed to her that my impatience itself is reason enough for God to call me home.  Where can a person learn and practice patience more than at home with a busy little children?  The fast paced workplace I had experienced seemed to breed more impatience.  Children, however, are beautiful teachers of patience.  They demonstrate the importance of taking time to observe and discover each amazing detail of God's creation.  My kids refine me through trials, but they also offer me encouragement in my personal faith walk.  Whenever I express feelings of being stressed or overwhelmed, my daughter almost always asks me, "Mom, why are you so worried?  Have you taken your cares to Jesus?  You really need to pray!"   Just as I long to point my children to Christ, they regularly point me to Him.

During my corporate years, I had more self-confidence and self-reliance in my vocation than I do now as a homeschooling mom.  Now that I am completely out of my comfort zone, I simply cannot rely upon myself.  I must look to the Lord for patience, wisdom, direction, strength, and contentment.  He is my confidence.  With Christ's power behind me, even I cannot fail at this parenting assignment!

Philippians 4:13

¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength. 
 
I am now at a place where I can honestly say that I am quite content with my "early retirement".  While my priorities have certainly changed, my personality is not completely different.  I am as passionate now as ever before.  I am still ambitious, but my ambitions at this stage of life are more for the hearts of my children than for a career outside of the home.  My passion is to see each of our children develop an all-consuming love for the Father.  I long for them to walk so intimately with Him that He occupies their every thought. I aspire for them to know Him so well that they can make wise decisions based on His calling and His precepts without being confused by the conflicting messages all around them.  As the world grows more corrupt with each passing day, my dreams are that our children will remain steadfast in the faith, standing out as bright lights in this dark world, and eventually leading others into a saving love relationship with the Lord.  Ambitious...much?  I don't want to miss out on seeing Christ transform their hearts.  As impatient as I may be, I do NOT want their childhood to rush by me.  I want to treasure every moment I have with them.  As I have watched Jesus change their hearts, I do believe He has been changing mine.

I realize that my role in leading them into this type of vibrant faith-filled walk with the Lord is very limited.  Ultimately, they must choose for themselves whom they will follow and with what degree of passion they will love and serve the Lord.  However, right now I feel called to shepherd their hearts, and that is the vocation in which I am still quite high-strung (in a good way I hope).  When my children are mature enough in their walk with the Lord to no longer need me at home as much, then I will pursue whatever career and/or ministry God sets before me with great zeal and intensity.  For now, however, my prayer is that He will use this brief and privileged time of staying home with the children to refine me and draw me into deeper intimacy with Him.